Tag: joseph

Being In It

June 30th, 2018
Certainty is an issue with some people. They say that the more you know, the less certain you become about things. Once your perspective broadens from information; academically or otherwise, on whatever subject, the more open-minded you might become. Certainty is something innate. You are either into something, or you’re not. And there are many versions of really being in it. You can be heavily into sports, for instance. Other people are super into Warcraft. Everyone has there own thing that they find most absorbing. The one thing I want to hone in on in this subject, though, is personal human relationships. Probably because we all got them. It is the one thing every person can relate to whether you’re a socialite with no deep connection aside your mother, or a recluse, with no relationships aside your mother. So, with that super simple disclaimer out of the way, we can begin.

What does actually come with handling and being in a real relationship? I’m not a professional in this field and only have my experiences and the stories of others to grasp on to. Currently, I think I’m doing pretty well in the romance, compared to most. I started a relationship after five+ of being single, and only after using the terrible app that is Tinder tm, without reliably using it until a year later.

A girl and I talked back in early 2017. We hit it off rather easily. Three weeks later thanks to help I asked her out. I met her and the rest is history. I love my girlfriend, eh? What else can I say.

I don’t know if she is the one, because I cannot tell time, but my intuition tells me she is. So ‘bring it in’ is the slogan I used to get you here, and I think of it as a saying that might ring true to old couples and new. They say the new generation is more polyamorous than the older generations. I won’t deny what lies at one’s heart. They say that the majority of humanity would see multiple partners if it was acceptable. I find myself, however, stuck by choice in the common sense of finding one individual for the remainder of your being. I will always only be for one, no matter what. Investing in one and only one individual is not just what I was raised on… But what lies deep in my being.

I don’t mean to put down those that wish or need to be with others, I only wish to shine on the dimming light of those like me that gleam on the prospect of connecting with a life partner, and only one partner, the rest of their natural life.

We only have one life here on Earth. You can use it to live your life to the fullest. You can live that by meeting many people, and doing things that meet your provocative. You can live that by being the best parent you were meant to be, while being with others or not. What ever your path, I love all that choose the path of love. Because as is the main theme of this entire blog, I always press people to choose the path of love if ever given the opportunity. Never the path of hate, or deceit. Choose only love, respect, honor and all else that entails a good life for yourself and the other people on your life.

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Importance

June 13th, 2018
This will be a hot button topic unlike any of the other topics I’ve written about so far, I feel. What people find important or not important vary radically depending on the individual. Some people find many-a-thing important and therefore sensitive or sacred, while others care so little they couldn’t be bothered to know it even exists. Other conditions of importance would be specifics. There can be some people that don’t care about much, but the things they do care about they care to the absolute.

Guns

Abortion

Power of prayer

Pronouns

Art

Environment

Legacy

Nationalism

Marriage

Tattoos

I am over the moon with certainty that every single person who reads that list will have a different reaction to it. And everyone will place it on a different level of importance. To the subjects you agree or disagree with passively, you don’t care. To those who have to fight for what they believe in on either side, they will find great significance. It goes without saying that we were all raised differently which leads us down all of our own paths of pursuit. I find most things passive in my agreement or disagreement, but still have a solid opinion on each thing.

If I could give any advice, it wouldn’t be to be more like me, because life isn’t very exciting when there isn’t passion. I would only say to keep a handle on emotions. When you find something extremely important, try not to talk about it, and when it comes up, try to figure out your room so as to manage expectations. If you know someone will say something upsetting to you, it is always better to know before-hand and let their moment pass. Love things, fight for things, but always keep peace.
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Up

June 7th, 2018
I race this high,

and I don’t know why.

It feels good,

anonymity of a hood.

My loved ones shan’t know,

like discovery of a cove.

Darkness shrouds it,

as the feeling clouds it.

Peace will not hide,

what the high surly finds.

It must have an end,

to this high I defend.

One day it will end,

and so until then,

catch me at the bend.

Peace churns,

where it burns.

Love yearns.
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Longevity

May 30th, 2018
What would you say is the deepest sensation? An orgasm? True happiness? Peace? You might say ‘sleep’ sarcastically, but no.

It is purpose.

It is the absolute and ultimate drive of intelligent life. It is what lies behind our every action and reaction. Every want, every need is predicated by our life purpose. It is found that those who suffer from depression also suffer a real physical deficiency because of it. They have less energy than those not suffering from it.

This does not mean that having a life purpose is always a positive thing, such as those who wish to do harm onto others. But overall, having a life purpose, even if that means making enough money to hang out with friends on the weekend, is leagues above having no such long-term desire at all. When it comes to living the best and longest life one can live, having a point to it kind of counts.

Meanings change in time though, like wanting nothing more than to disrupt the status quo, to becoming a working member of society. We all do what we must to survive. It lands in the ‘first-and-foremost’ category to be sure. As our lives develop, we will encounter changes. A person at 30 may realize McDonald’s isn’t going down the same as it did at 20. If we wish to be in this life for the long haul, we have to change with life.

Anarchists, starving artists, daredevils and those with mental health problems usually bend the knee to safety the longer they play the game. A man who bumps cokes on the weekends and sleeps with a different person every three days will soon find complications with their health. Life isn’t without a little risk-taking but to play the lottery everyday will leave you eventually broke. It is in all of our odds to play it safe for the most part.

The best advice is always, and will always be: moderation.

Hell even with smoking cigarettes, it is said that if you only smoke one cigarette a day it holds the same risk you would otherwise have living in a city. One glass of wine a day is good for your heart. One bump of coke a day I would highly advise against, same with meth or heroin, but you get my point. To jog one kilometre a day would be great. Life is kind of like a jog, isn’t it? Sure, at some points you sprint, and at others you walk, but for the most part we are all doing a jog across time.

So in short; make the meaning of your life, make it count, and make it last. We only get one short trip across the galaxy so why not make it last as long as a primate can? Oh, and make sure to eat your vegetables SAM.
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A Slice of Deviance

May 13th, 2018
Here is an excerpt from my first novel: Deviance. You can find a link to its Amazon page ‘Here’.

*

V took a seat. She looked a little bewildered.

“You feeling anything?” asked Nathan.

“I don’t know… maybe? I think I feel something.”

He took a seat next to her. “It’ll probably take a while for me.”

“Oh yeah?” V asked in a playful, fuck-you tone.

“Yeahaha.”

“Oh yeah? Tough shit?”

“It’s in my blood, on my dad’s side. We Australians got poisoned so much we’ve become immune to it.”

“You’re Australian?!”

“Well my grandpa is.”

“Oh I didn’t know. That’s cool.”

“Yeah it’s not bad. We can handle toxicants, but we don’t seem to talk too much. At least not my grandpa and dad.”

V sat silent, intent on Nathan continuing.

“I can remember one time,” he blurted as the memory hit him, “where my dad actually pulled an amazing line. Like a heart to heart moment with me.”

“What was it?” she asked.

“I must have been ten. Our dog Moe died and I hid away in my room cause I couldn’t stop crying. And my dad, to my utter surprise, came in and told me, ‘You know son, in life, the further you walk, the more you know. The more you know, the more you grow. The more you grow, the less you feel. And the less you feel, the further you walk.’ At the time I just thought he was being a heartless asshole, but I see now what he meant. Life’s taken my family away and yet… I’m not destroyed. I don’t quite know how to say it but I feel as if, something might have played a role in my survival, so far. But then again, maybe not at all and it was just dumb luck. Who knows.”
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Perspective

May 10th, 2018
Perspective is in my opinion one of the most incredible assets any person can have. It gives the ability to fully actualize yourself in whatever way you see fit. And the thing about this claim, is that having perspective gives you your way of seeing. So you can’t even be in a situation where you’ll have unrealistic goals. Understanding who you are with an outside viewpoint, what your abilities and limits are, garners advantages to your own life.

You happened to be born female, or male. White, black, Asian, or any other pigment set. You happened to be born into a religion or culture that you parents raised you with. You happened to be born in the country, and neighbourhood you were born into. You happened to go to school with people you now know as friends. You happened to have the brain you have, that makes you better at rhythm than problem solving; or better at math than social bonding.

You were NOT by chance born into the body of a poverty-stricken North Korean. Or stray cat for that matter. You don’t happen to be a fly that lives for one day and then dies forever. You happen to have the most incredible opportunity on this planet, and at this time. To be a human in the year 2018 A.D.E., in a first world is pretty damn lucky. The vast majority of people take this fact for granted. People are surprisingly selfish when they don’t need to be, or focus on little things that upset their whole day when there are countless others around the world that would kill to be in their shoes.

Now, once fully accepting this mindset as almost a world view, it can be used as a tool in everyday life. Most notably, to help direct your emotions, and thus your actions towards others. If you understand how shallow most emotions are, it becomes hard to hold onto them. Take road rage for example. Someone cuts you off and it triggers anger. How dare they so rudely assert their dominance over you! It could be, though, that they simply didn’t see you, or they had been cut off so many times that they had finally broke and did the same this once. Even if it WAS an alpha bro with his top down, just owning the road, it doesn’t hurt him for you to hold onto that anger he created. If your goal in life is to be happy, then the way to achieve that goal would be to forget your agitator and move on. Remember, after all, your aren’t currently dying from the Black Plague in the 1350’s.

Using perspective releases your grip on your ego. It makes you more empathetic. Most can do this when enthralled in a movie or novel. You can relate to a character who is nothing like you when you lower your guard on identity and allow yourself to see what it’s like to step into another’s shoes. Lack of perspective is what made slavery so easy for early white settlers. If a slave owner woke up one day in the body of a black man or woman, owned to a farm, how do you think their experience would change them?

Stay humble I say. Carry on chasing goals, for it is the meaning you make that is the meaning of life. Get that people are ignorant of your experiences, but that you too lack their life. So we should all listen, appreciate, and understand each other, short or tall, guy or girl, wealthy or poor; from every walk of life. We all got something going on. We all want love. We are all living our lives.
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Being Alone

May 2nd, 2018
I have to start this by making sure everyone knows as a basic fact that we are all alone, at every moment, inside our heads. Now, with that being said I will begin with a question. When you imagine being alone, are you sad? Or are you relieved?

As an evolutionary fact we humans are social creatures. We rely on each other to survive, to thrive, and in general to be happy. We have family members, friends, and partners. It is part of our makeup, regardless if you are an introvert or extrovert.

The majority of people today are introverts. It may be because of technology. The convenience to do what you want, when you want makes it more appealing to not socialize. Why listen to songs you don’t absolutely love, or put yourself in potentially uncomfortable situations when you can just stay at home.

Personally, I love being alone. With that said, however, I also love to socialize. But being alone allows me the ability to write for hours without interruption, go to the gym, watch movies or do whatever else without having to break up a schedule or not do it at all. It is very selfish of me and I am aware of that. I understand the role parents put themselves in when they decide to try and conceive. It is a truly noble and selfless act. I am currently at a stage in my life where I haven’t fully grown up, and won’t until I sacrifice the freedom I currently indulge.

For many people that I know, being alone is boring and something to be avoided. It makes them sad when they don’t have people around. They can’t find the balance between socializing and isolation unless the latter is moments before sleep. As I stated earlier, I haven’t fully grown up, so I am still working on the balance. Some people go their whole lives either pushing people away, or clinging when it’s inappropriate because of this. Socialize too much, and you don’t know who you are when you’re alone. Spend too much time in your head, and you forget what it’s like to mingle with company. Both things are equally important.

Time spent alone allows the mind to breathe. It allows thought without criticism, creativity without backlash, and wonder without insecurity. Great positivity can flourish in these periods, but also great negativity. It is important to notice those around you that may be in a place of self-hatred or degradation. It was not the fault of every serial killer’s parents that they couldn’t have changed their son’s life around before it was too late, but perhaps to notice someone spending too much time alone, and pulling them out into the world might do them tremendous good. Life may be beautiful but it wasn’t meant to be stared at for ten years straight without any interaction.

We are bipedal primates that managed to create language to better interact with each other. We built civilization on the notion of betterment for all. If we were only meant to be alone, we would still be living in caves and grunting at passers-by. I find tremendous purpose in being alone for periods of time, to allow inspiration and relaxation to flow through me. I also base my life on society, and the interactions I have with the people in it. To my mom, siblings, extended family, close friends and the like, and to my girlfriend: I love you.
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Hidden Magic

April 26th, 2018
There’s a hidden magic in people. It comes out like fire as a child.

Like a smile on an old face, or the fury in a friend seeing you get beat up as they come to help. There need not be any enemies. A kid can make friends with a rock but two old friends break up because of business differences.

You can chalk it up to complexity, but the hidden magic in people can be just as complex. Like a stranger, after losing their job and with little income, paying for someone’s meal behind them in a drive thru. Or someone coming across a dead fox on a hiking trail and taking hours just to bury it with a stick.

Sure, I could describe the magic in many words: random acts of generosity, sacrifice with no gain, showing kindness during hate. Sometimes the neuro-chemicals give us strange answers to things of spite, leech, or straight hate where we just… love.
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If We Could Live Forever

April 23rd, 2018
We all know there are certainties about the human race. We were built to survive. To know the enemy, and strike them down. We yearn to live not only in the short term, but honestly to the majority of people, forever. Religions give so many people the hope. But in that context however, many troubles brew.

The mere idea of living forever brings things into question. If it is only you, then isolation is inevitable. You will grow up with a community around you, make friends and find love. They will continue to age, but (for the sake of it let’s say you stop at 30,) you will not. So they will grow old without you and die, leaving you alone. This will happen again and again with new relationships you form. The secret services may find you, or you may become revered as a kind of god to society. Either way, isolation to others cannot be changed.

Another thought experiment is the afterlife. Be it heaven, Jannah or Valhalla. These places promise eternal life after death, in other words, forever experiencing subjective reality. It takes place in a non-physical realm, where you are still living within a hierarchy system. Time would seem like a morphine drip I imagine, because there would be nothing to do except praise the creator of the universe because He’s all about that. We currently all live in a second to second, day to day reality. Without tasks I imagine life would seem very meaningless.

The final idea I propose would be if everyone suddenly ceased to age, (at say 30,) for no apparent reason. War will still happen, perhaps even more so due to exponential growth in the population. People will still die from diseases as well. But a new purpose will grow within the bloating humanity. Elon Musk will grin. Fathers, mothers, sons and daughters shall volunteer to embark on missions into space, on the hope of creating outer colonies. It will eventually work. Afterward we will seek to continue. Wealth inequality will still exist, so though the fear of death will grow to exceeding paranoia and anxiety among the rich, others with nothing to lose will wish to make a better future for their kin. Millions of years pass. Technology speeds up, then slows down, but forever moves forward. Billions of years pass. The Milky Way has now been dominated. It seems still like all the time in existence is not enough. There are other galaxies, other super clusters of galaxies. Countless ships get sent off to the edges of the universe, never to be seen again by anything, ever.

We have drama of egos in super cities surrounding Milky Way’s super massive black hole. Suicides from people who can remember Earth. New life unknowingly being born into infinity. Soul mates for hundreds of thousands of years breaking apart. Entropy making its mark on the soul of our race. Time, infinity, need not be time at all. Though all but the depressed would agree we currently have too little time on Earth, time forever would stretch the meaning of life very thin indeed. We need death like we need birth. There must be those before us, and those that come after us. We must pass on the baton when time comes. If it never does, who do we become? I say: lesser than our ancestors. Learn to let go along with holding on. It is what makes life so precious in the first place.
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Soothing Edges

April 21st, 2018
When did the sun leave me?

The dark is so sudden. It shocks by contrast of a stark blue glow.

The glow clicks and rattles quietly so as not to disturb those sleeping.

Global communities soothe away the edges.

It feels nice to hurt a little, be it a sting behind the eyes or a fuzzing down the spine.

The future is exciting in its mysterious way.

When did the sun meet me?
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Circle K Rounded Up Mac’s Milk!

April 16th, 2018
Vancouver is a nice place I hear. I’ve never been, is what I’m inferring. Though I’ve lived in this country of Canada for 25 years now, I’ve never traveled west of Ontario. However, there is a connection Vancouver now has with the city I was born and raised in: Burlington, and it is for what the nostalgia in me is screaming, not a good thing. If you were around ‘the Couve’ way back in 1975, you would have noticed a bunch of convenience stores crop up with the name ‘Mac’s Milk’. Forty years later and anyone raised in a suburban or urban area in Canada knows about Mac’s Milk. They went big, to say the least. I lived down the street from one and along-side Tim Hortons it was a Canadian staple in my mind. Convenience you have a name! I never bought milk from them, but slushies you bet’cha.

My childhood passed into young adulthood and my time hanging out in plazas faded away… I went off to school, returned and began working steady. No more time for Mac’s except for the old drunken journeys to chips land. It became a thing of the past… Then the other day I drove to Timmy’s for a double double and their sign was gone! I think to myself this just can’t be. Is business not going well for them or something? I remembered back some years when one of their other locations in Burlington closed due to something of that like. So now what’s this? Circle K?! It reeks of corporation. It’s simple to remember and the sign is easy on the eyes. If I were a child or simple-minded I’d love it.

Another one popped up down the road. There! Another one! What the heck, it’s more than just Mac’s Milk. What’s going on here? So I look into it, and to my utter lack of surprise, business stuff happened. Completely legitimate business stuff. Back in 2015, Mac’s Milk was bought out by Circle K. Okay. Along with other companies. This American giant had the big bucks; good for it. THEN, making complete sense looking back from the future, Circle K decided to switch all the names over. And guess in what city they began this implementation? THAT IS RIGHT, right down the road from yours truly. Now it all adds up, eh? How Vancouver connects to Burlington. From the left side of the country Mac’s began, and to the middle-right it fizzled out of existence. Nostalgia what have you done to me?

In the end I don’t really care, it was only at first. It was only when I first found out did I feel the pain of losing something I thought would be around long after I passed to the other side. It’s like a dog experiencing the loss of its owner. It doesn’t really know to do with itself. You were bigger than me Mac’s, and now you have been dissolved, fare thee well.
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Duality

April 15th, 2018
There are always two sides to things. There is this and that. There is me and them. There is will and won’t, is and isn’t. Here and there. Right and wrong. Will they, won’t they. How and haven’t. Why and why not. Two extremes; light and dark.

Dimorphism.

Males and females split things rather cohesively, except that there is a spectrum. Males can be very feminine and females can be very masculine. The fact that there are trans people, gay people and lesbians builds the blur in the ‘black and white’ structure, even without tom boys and metrosexuals. It doesn’t make things equal out but allows to broaden one’s horizon on duality.

If it were taken further, many believe in a split between body and self. My body is just the housing for my soul. That is not true to those who are knowledgeable on neurology. The self is a construct of the brain put in place to help survival. We are not a special person, we are many people in this play at life. But duality still exists.

Self; selfish intentions, building one’s ego, being a self-made whatever, (be it songwriter, engineer, salesman/woman, officer of the law, whatever,) develops meaning in one’s life. And we all do so through the thought that it is us, and them. Or us against them. You can’t trust the police. You can’t trust the government. You can’t trust anybody. We all lie to an extent unless your life is devoted to honesty; which individuals do here and there and usually destroy relationships they’ve had by doing so. But it’s end goal is towards accomplishments, which is again a self thing.

Separation exists for everyone, and it is important to note it, like it is important to note your diet, exercise, professional interactions and so on. We are all in this life right here and now, and there is duality in it. For those in intimate relationships there is a positive way to look at it. Your entire life is a story. It started when you were born and it will go on until you die; perhaps noted on long after. And the other is the other story, to be attached to your life the moment you two meet. Afterward, the two great lifelong stories become intertwined, and create one tale. Chapters separate perspective of each, but mingle in a cocktail of experiences lived, and maybe noted for longer more.

We live even in our own selves with this duality as we rope our own thoughts and beliefs and dreams together. Shall I? Shall I not? One more day. No more. Let them have it. Not this time. Just breathe deep. Time to blow. Life is art and art is life. This thing we are all doing, in conjunction with the rest of nature, is a beautiful thing even if at times troubling. Trek on I say. Make experiences, and make note of them. Do the best you can, and try to enjoy the ride while it’s happening.
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Budding Romance

April 13th, 2018
I spend nights alone. I spend days with friends, only sometimes. Days pass. Nights crawl. My hobbies lie, and parents spy. Who’s that? A face. A name. A friend. She’s cute, but no way, taken. Her name is Hope, Forsaken. I see trouble, no, prosperity from lonely. We develop, like film. Feel the screen. Hear me scream.

He’s nice, but… Nice. Nothing, nothing. Fun. Play. Here and, wait.

…

…

There I was. Here I am. In and now. Back again.

Back again. Yes. Future slaps fate, past -haps mate. We are who we are, and nothing more. Why me? How now?

I’m more than that. I’m more than fate. We are more than mistakes. We find miss plates. And life is more than love and scrapes… Rooms are a collection of our lives. Spring is inside. Sigh a relief of calm delight, and say goodnight.
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Intentions

April 13th, 2018
There was once a naive wish that was lost.

The wish, was that we lived in a world where it was easier for everyone to express themselves without fear of holding back, instead of the world we live in now where we tow the line. The social psychology of humanity today is the same as it was hundreds of thousands of years ago. It revolves around reactions to and from each other in a game of trust, for the sake of survival and survival of kin.

You are beautiful,

you are kind,

you are very talented,

and really really cool.

You also have a big heart and good intentions.

The majority of people are selfish and shitty, the wish-giver lamented in the back of their mind. Intentions are usually always so damn selfish. If only we knew what the other thought. But now there’s the problem. No one knows how the other person or people in an engagement truly feel; unless their face is pale and their chest lunges forward.

And how can we?

Intentions constantly change so even if you were feeling one way about someone, the next moment you could not. It’s hard to trust someone, to go all in when the other person seems like they may not. So people give hints, little looks, but remain casual. In the end you can only ever guess, that not only you know what YOU’RE feeling, but that when you look at someone and catch something in their eye, your intuition is heading you in the right direction.

Wouldn’t it be sublime if people spoke directly regarding their intentions? Maybe sadly maybe not, this is not the world we live in. Terrible things exist… violence, theft, cheating, rape, murder. Deceits in every sense for a selfish goal. There are psychopaths and sociopaths performing most treacherous actions to be sure, but for the rest of it, so many people let their emotions build up in a trail of negative thoughts that lead down roads of destruction. Only in retrospect do people look back and regret their decisions.

I’m sorry I don’t compliment you enough or treat you like a lady.

I shouldn’t have said that about your brother, I didn’t mean it.

Okay, take the kids, I- I’m sorry.

Well you weren’t there for me when I needed you most!

How could I have known…

Where do we even start to pick up the pieces?

I don’t even know why I lied about that.

The future moves, and society heads forward. We learn more and more about how we are with each other, and the specifics about right and wrong. Maybe things will never change between people. Maybe we can find a way to be more truthful and honest, even when it hurts.

Time will tell.
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Grandeur

April 10th, 2018
A small child watches the sun set. They feel amazing, alive; filled with a visceral sense of awe. In that moment, everything is beautiful. The outline of the sun becomes visible in its dying descent. It is a waving sphere of burning glory, stretching across the universe and back. The child looks on for as long as possible. The feeling wanes behind their eyes and will soon be gone, but it is undeniable. It is the meaning of life. It is pure love. It is the reason for existence. Joy and peace and merriment. A long awaited and anticipated notion met with something beyond expectations in the grandest possible way. A secret yearning to be shared across the cosmos. The faint glimmer of the sun blinks. The child, hypnotized, blinks too.
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Tag: joseph

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