In this anniversary edition of Thoughts I go over the many concepts related to experiential existence, also known as just experience. Panpychism, dreams, and mindfulness are all fair game in this crazy thing we call life. Enjoy! ARTICLE LINK: https://thejoevan.com/2021/02/22/experiences/ PANPYCHISM: https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/panpsychism/
Tag: experiences
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Chilling, tingling, hot sensations of bubbly, proud, shocking but sad, boring, scratchy, pungent, exhausting happiness. EXPERIENCES are the tether with which we can all find common ground. It doesn’t matter what beliefs you have. If you’re shy, confident, sadistic, depressed, or think this reality is a simulation, we are all still existing through experiences. It’s the key component to life versus non-life.
We have our senses of taste, touch, sight, smell, hearing, space, and other more subtle, subconscious senses that together give us one collaborative, cohesive ‘thing’ called experiences.
Let me start with an example; jogging. It’s exhausting at times and euphoric at times; but what causes that? When we run, our muscles stretch and contract, and the blood pumping through our veins is given extra oxygen. Our heart beats quicker, and we breathe heavier, giving our brains a type of high; a kind of ‘premium rush’ that our ancestors felt when they were on the hunt. It would put them in the zone and once they were in, it was like unlocking a mental state where you can kill and not lose sleep over it. The phenomenological process of experience is something that, though it exists for all living things, only as a human has the potential to be self recognizing.
Also, that thing I said at the beginning about it being the key component to life versus non-life, well, that basic understanding has changed in the scientific community over time. It can be argued now to a startling degree that we mustn’t rule out experiential possibilities for non-life entities such as rocks. This scientific theory is called panpsychism. In the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, they write,
“Panpsychism is the view that mentality is fundamental and ubiquitous in the natural world. The view has a long and venerable history in philosophical traditions of both East and West, and has recently enjoyed a revival in analytic philosophy. For its proponents panpsychism offers an attractive middle way between physicalism on the one hand and dualism on the other. The worry with dualism—the view that mind and matter are fundamentally different kinds of thing—is that it leaves us with a radically disunified picture of nature, and the deep difficulty of understanding how mind and brain interact. And whilst physicalism offers a simple and unified vision of the world, this is arguably at the cost of being unable to give a satisfactory account of the emergence of human and animal consciousness. Panpsychism, strange as it may sound on first hearing, promises a satisfying account of the human mind within a unified conception of nature.”
In my own words I would say: consciousness is NOT an emergent phenomenon. Human evolution didn’t create self-aware consciousness, (as is the standard idea of why we are different from all other animals,) rather, human evolution in the brain developed and molded the neurology to access the universal bed of consciousness, just to a far higher degree than all other animals. Our species’ mental wiring tapped into a preexisting consciousness rather than developing it as a side effect of growingly complex thought pathways and instincts. It can be hard to make this theory easy for everyone to understand, but the way I continually think about it, is that just like how order can come from randomness in nature without an intentional maker behind it, so can our own self-awareness.
This theory doesn’t answer everything. It leaves bigger questions alone like how did the laws of physics come to be? Is it truly either by a creator or unanswerable? That comes with the caveat of setting aside that fact that were it by a creator, it would still be unanswered, with us just moving the goal post back one dimension.
This leads many who believe this universe to be a simulation to the understanding that if we were to create a simulated reality, what is to say that it has only just happened once, and not that what we just did is exactly what has happened to US? And same with our creators’ universe. Someone more than likely created theirs, and someone created that creator’s reality, and so on and so forth for infinity. But to that theory leading many great minds to think that it must be the case that we ARE in a simulation then, I say, but we haven’t created an entire simulated universe though. We haven’t done it yet, so this postulating is based purely on theory, like time-sing a number by infinity, or conceptualizing matter moving faster than light. We can think about these things- we can imagine about infinity, but physics has blockers. If we built a rocket to go as fast as possible, we could get it near lightspeed until tiny space debris tore it to sheds; or simply gravity from large objects might impede the time and distance needed to get it there. Or we could walk a half distance to a door, but rather than walking a half distance forever, never reaching the destination, eventually we would reach the door.
That’s all not to say that us imagining these things isn’t in a way, real experiences. Here’s an example of what I mean: when I think back to my earliest memory, I catch myself remembering walking alongside the rock path at my grandparents’ old cottage. However, when I think more about it, my first real memory isn’t a physical experience at all, but a dream; more specifically a nightmare, but that’s beside the point. It’s not like it doesn’t count as my first memory, that IS the first experience that I remember, it just feels weird to say because the experience only happened in my head. So like usual, our initial assumptions about what defines experiences, that maybe we didn’t even know we had, can be incorrect. The universe may be a conscious thing that our brains simply access to think, and we may choose to understand that dreams are as valid of an experiences as real life. I would only add that we shouldn’t be upset with people who did us dirty in our dreams. Keep the confrontation for the dream version of that person.
The final point on experiences I want to hit on is how our own presumptions and expectations can radically warp our perception of experiences. I’ve hit on this point throughout multiple Thoughts pieces so it would be redundant to cover it all again, but I do feel it still deserves to be mentioned here. Our state of consciousness determines our interpretation of events, not as they are, but as how we feel about them. There is a technique of meditation called mindfulness that taps into this aspect about ourselves. It has us sit, eyes closed typically, and focus on the breath. While doing this we are told to take in all thoughts, sounds, and physical sensations simply as they are. The point of this form of meditation is to shed light on reality as it is, and our own state of being. It’s also meant to give us a break from our standard, rather distracted, mental state. It’s ability to successfully do so is entirely dependent of each individual and their own ‘distractibility’, though there should be no judgment for anyone’s success at this. We are all wired differently, and some honestly do not have the ability to attempt this practice. I myself have undiagnosed A.D.D., but feel like I still have had successful moments of clarity, so all I would say is everyone should at least give it a try.
And that’s about all I have to say about the topic of experiences! There’s physical experiences, mental experiences, and out of body experiences. The range is wildly wide. I hope you all had a fun time reading this latest piece, from me, ya boy, Joe Van. I happily urge all those who found this interesting to GO OUT into the world wide web, and do your own research! I hope for nothing but love in your lives, and ask you to remember to keep on thinking. Bye for now.
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Like mirrors in every way,
they hold up ourselves.
Crashing or calm,
to low or high.
We are life,
so they.
Be.
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She opens me up like the warmth of spring to a tulip. It had taken a long time to start crying again; since almost dying in the snow.
I melt. It feels so good when it happens, and we make love. We sweat and squeeze. Taste each other. Feel the other’s curves with our hands and hips.
It is reciprocal, unashamed and passionate. If she was heated but I was not, she wouldn’t press.
It is hushed and playful. Afterward, we clean each other, the bed invites back and we lay.
Our beings bask in each other’s glow like binary stars.
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Certainty is an issue with some people. They say that the more you know, the less certain you become about things. Once your perspective broadens from information; academically or otherwise, on whatever subject, the more open-minded you might become. Certainty is something innate. You are either into something, or you’re not. And there are many versions of really being in it. You can be heavily into sports, for instance. Other people are super into Warcraft. Everyone has there own thing that they find most absorbing. The one thing I want to hone in on in this subject, though, is personal human relationships. Probably because we all got them. It is the one thing every person can relate to whether you’re a socialite with no deep connection aside your mother, or a recluse, with no relationships aside your mother. So, with that super simple disclaimer out of the way, we can begin.
What does actually come with handling and being in a real relationship? I’m not a professional in this field and only have my experiences and the stories of others to grasp on to. Currently, I think I’m doing pretty well in the romance, compared to most. I started a relationship after five+ of being single, and only after using the terrible app that is Tinder tm, without reliably using it until a year later.
A girl and I talked back in early 2017. We hit it off rather easily. Three weeks later thanks to help I asked her out. I met her and the rest is history. I love my girlfriend, eh? What else can I say.
I don’t know if she is the one, because I cannot tell time, but my intuition tells me she is. So ‘bring it in’ is the slogan I used to get you here, and I think of it as a saying that might ring true to old couples and new. They say the new generation is more polyamorous than the older generations. I won’t deny what lies at one’s heart. They say that the majority of humanity would see multiple partners if it was acceptable. I find myself, however, stuck by choice in the common sense of finding one individual for the remainder of your being. I will always only be for one, no matter what. Investing in one and only one individual is not just what I was raised on… But what lies deep in my being.
I don’t mean to put down those that wish or need to be with others, I only wish to shine on the dimming light of those like me that gleam on the prospect of connecting with a life partner, and only one partner, the rest of their natural life.
We only have one life here on Earth. You can use it to live your life to the fullest. You can live that by meeting many people, and doing things that meet your provocative. You can live that by being the best parent you were meant to be, while being with others or not. What ever your path, I love all that choose the path of love. Because as is the main theme of this entire blog, I always press people to choose the path of love if ever given the opportunity. Never the path of hate, or deceit. Choose only love, respect, honor and all else that entails a good life for yourself and the other people on your life.
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This will be a hot button topic unlike any of the other topics I’ve written about so far, I feel. What people find important or not important vary radically depending on the individual. Some people find many-a-thing important and therefore sensitive or sacred, while others care so little they couldn’t be bothered to know it even exists. Other conditions of importance would be specifics. There can be some people that don’t care about much, but the things they do care about they care to the absolute.
Guns
Abortion
Power of prayer
Pronouns
Art
Environment
Legacy
Nationalism
Marriage
Tattoos
I am over the moon with certainty that every single person who reads that list will have a different reaction to it. And everyone will place it on a different level of importance. To the subjects you agree or disagree with passively, you don’t care. To those who have to fight for what they believe in on either side, they will find great significance. It goes without saying that we were all raised differently which leads us down all of our own paths of pursuit. I find most things passive in my agreement or disagreement, but still have a solid opinion on each thing.
If I could give any advice, it wouldn’t be to be more like me, because life isn’t very exciting when there isn’t passion. I would only say to keep a handle on emotions. When you find something extremely important, try not to talk about it, and when it comes up, try to figure out your room so as to manage expectations. If you know someone will say something upsetting to you, it is always better to know before-hand and let their moment pass. Love things, fight for things, but always keep peace.
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I race this high,
and I don’t know why.
It feels good,
anonymity of a hood.
My loved ones shan’t know,
like discovery of a cove.
Darkness shrouds it,
as the feeling clouds it.
Peace will not hide,
what the high surly finds.
It must have an end,
to this high I defend.
One day it will end,
and so until then,
catch me at the bend.
Peace churns,
where it burns.
Love yearns.
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What would you say is the deepest sensation? An orgasm? True happiness? Peace? You might say ‘sleep’ sarcastically, but no.
It is purpose.
It is the absolute and ultimate drive of intelligent life. It is what lies behind our every action and reaction. Every want, every need is predicated by our life purpose. It is found that those who suffer from depression also suffer a real physical deficiency because of it. They have less energy than those not suffering from it.
This does not mean that having a life purpose is always a positive thing, such as those who wish to do harm onto others. But overall, having a life purpose, even if that means making enough money to hang out with friends on the weekend, is leagues above having no such long-term desire at all. When it comes to living the best and longest life one can live, having a point to it kind of counts.
Meanings change in time though, like wanting nothing more than to disrupt the status quo, to becoming a working member of society. We all do what we must to survive. It lands in the ‘first-and-foremost’ category to be sure. As our lives develop, we will encounter changes. A person at 30 may realize McDonald’s isn’t going down the same as it did at 20. If we wish to be in this life for the long haul, we have to change with life.
Anarchists, starving artists, daredevils and those with mental health problems usually bend the knee to safety the longer they play the game. A man who bumps cokes on the weekends and sleeps with a different person every three days will soon find complications with their health. Life isn’t without a little risk-taking but to play the lottery everyday will leave you eventually broke. It is in all of our odds to play it safe for the most part.
The best advice is always, and will always be: moderation.
Hell even with smoking cigarettes, it is said that if you only smoke one cigarette a day it holds the same risk you would otherwise have living in a city. One glass of wine a day is good for your heart. One bump of coke a day I would highly advise against, same with meth or heroin, but you get my point. To jog one kilometre a day would be great. Life is kind of like a jog, isn’t it? Sure, at some points you sprint, and at others you walk, but for the most part we are all doing a jog across time.
So in short; make the meaning of your life, make it count, and make it last. We only get one short trip across the galaxy so why not make it last as long as a primate can? Oh, and make sure to eat your vegetables SAM.
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Paradox.
Abstraction.
Imperceivable.
Impossible.
Grandiosity.
The raw beyond. These concepts that will never be answered. They lay on those that seek. Is there intention in existence? If there was, how did such to intend come to be? It was intentioned as well, well, what about that which gave it? If not, then why it in the first place? If so, it goes on for infinity. An impossibility. How did things come to be, then? Without this notion, we reach a bottleneck. Time is a paradox; an abstraction. All the gravity in all the black holes, and all the separation across the expanding universe cannot condone it. We were once small and hot, before which we were not. Other space-time have done the same, and all of us have done so and will do so… forever? We haven’t reached the extent of proper perceivable information for that yet, so time will tell. And we will do so by peering ever inward. We can’t go out enough into the grandiose, so we can only do the opposite. Yet there we find abstractions upon abstractions to any order. It breaks us down and leaves us impossibly without structure. This existence we all find ourselves in is so complex, and so alien to what we were made to do: survive, that it will take a long time indeed before anything can be done about it. Until which, a fool like I can wax poetic… about it and all and forevermore.
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Here is an excerpt from my first novel: Deviance. You can find a link to its Amazon page ‘Here’.
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V took a seat. She looked a little bewildered.
“You feeling anything?” asked Nathan.
“I don’t know… maybe? I think I feel something.”
He took a seat next to her. “It’ll probably take a while for me.”
“Oh yeah?” V asked in a playful, fuck-you tone.
“Yeahaha.”
“Oh yeah? Tough shit?”
“It’s in my blood, on my dad’s side. We Australians got poisoned so much we’ve become immune to it.”
“You’re Australian?!”
“Well my grandpa is.”
“Oh I didn’t know. That’s cool.”
“Yeah it’s not bad. We can handle toxicants, but we don’t seem to talk too much. At least not my grandpa and dad.”
V sat silent, intent on Nathan continuing.
“I can remember one time,” he blurted as the memory hit him, “where my dad actually pulled an amazing line. Like a heart to heart moment with me.”
“What was it?” she asked.
“I must have been ten. Our dog Moe died and I hid away in my room cause I couldn’t stop crying. And my dad, to my utter surprise, came in and told me, ‘You know son, in life, the further you walk, the more you know. The more you know, the more you grow. The more you grow, the less you feel. And the less you feel, the further you walk.’ At the time I just thought he was being a heartless asshole, but I see now what he meant. Life’s taken my family away and yet… I’m not destroyed. I don’t quite know how to say it but I feel as if, something might have played a role in my survival, so far. But then again, maybe not at all and it was just dumb luck. Who knows.”
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Perspective is in my opinion one of the most incredible assets any person can have. It gives the ability to fully actualize yourself in whatever way you see fit. And the thing about this claim, is that having perspective gives you your way of seeing. So you can’t even be in a situation where you’ll have unrealistic goals. Understanding who you are with an outside viewpoint, what your abilities and limits are, garners advantages to your own life.You happened to be born female, or male. White, black, Asian, or any other pigment set. You happened to be born into a religion or culture that you parents raised you with. You happened to be born in the country, and neighbourhood you were born into. You happened to go to school with people you now know as friends. You happened to have the brain you have, that makes you better at rhythm than problem solving; or better at math than social bonding.You were NOT by chance born into the body of a poverty-stricken North Korean. Or stray cat for that matter. You don’t happen to be a fly that lives for one day and then dies forever. You happen to have the most incredible opportunity on this planet, and at this time. To be a human in the year 2018 A.D.E., in a first world is pretty damn lucky. The vast majority of people take this fact for granted. People are surprisingly selfish when they don’t need to be, or focus on little things that upset their whole day when there are countless others around the world that would kill to be in their shoes.Now, once fully accepting this mindset as almost a world view, it can be used as a tool in everyday life. Most notably, to help direct your emotions, and thus your actions towards others. If you understand how shallow most emotions are, it becomes hard to hold onto them. Take road rage for example. Someone cuts you off and it triggers anger. How dare they so rudely assert their dominance over you! It could be, though, that they simply didn’t see you, or they had been cut off so many times that they had finally broke and did the same this once. Even if it WAS an alpha bro with his top down, just owning the road, it doesn’t hurt him for you to hold onto that anger he created. If your goal in life is to be happy, then the way to achieve that goal would be to forget your agitator and move on. Remember, after all, your aren’t currently dying from the Black Plague in the 1350’s.Using perspective releases your grip on your ego. It makes you more empathetic. Most can do this when enthralled in a movie or novel. You can relate to a character who is nothing like you when you lower your guard on identity and allow yourself to see what it’s like to step into another’s shoes. Lack of perspective is what made slavery so easy for early white settlers. If a slave owner woke up one day in the body of a black man or woman, owned to a farm, how do you think their experience would change them?Stay humble I say. Carry on chasing goals, for it is the meaning you make that is the meaning of life. Get that people are ignorant of your experiences, but that you too lack their life. So we should all listen, appreciate, and understand each other, short or tall, guy or girl, wealthy or poor; from every walk of life. We all got something going on. We all want love. We are all living our lives.
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I have to start this by making sure everyone knows as a basic fact that we are all alone, at every moment, inside our heads. Now, with that being said I will begin with a question. When you imagine being alone, are you sad? Or are you relieved?
As an evolutionary fact we humans are social creatures. We rely on each other to survive, to thrive, and in general to be happy. We have family members, friends, and partners. It is part of our makeup, regardless if you are an introvert or extrovert.
The majority of people today are introverts. It may be because of technology. The convenience to do what you want, when you want makes it more appealing to not socialize. Why listen to songs you don’t absolutely love, or put yourself in potentially uncomfortable situations when you can just stay at home.
Personally, I love being alone. With that said, however, I also love to socialize. But being alone allows me the ability to write for hours without interruption, go to the gym, watch movies or do whatever else without having to break up a schedule or not do it at all. It is very selfish of me and I am aware of that. I understand the role parents put themselves in when they decide to try and conceive. It is a truly noble and selfless act. I am currently at a stage in my life where I haven’t fully grown up, and won’t until I sacrifice the freedom I currently indulge.
For many people that I know, being alone is boring and something to be avoided. It makes them sad when they don’t have people around. They can’t find the balance between socializing and isolation unless the latter is moments before sleep. As I stated earlier, I haven’t fully grown up, so I am still working on the balance. Some people go their whole lives either pushing people away, or clinging when it’s inappropriate because of this. Socialize too much, and you don’t know who you are when you’re alone. Spend too much time in your head, and you forget what it’s like to mingle with company. Both things are equally important.
Time spent alone allows the mind to breathe. It allows thought without criticism, creativity without backlash, and wonder without insecurity. Great positivity can flourish in these periods, but also great negativity. It is important to notice those around you that may be in a place of self-hatred or degradation. It was not the fault of every serial killer’s parents that they couldn’t have changed their son’s life around before it was too late, but perhaps to notice someone spending too much time alone, and pulling them out into the world might do them tremendous good. Life may be beautiful but it wasn’t meant to be stared at for ten years straight without any interaction.
We are bipedal primates that managed to create language to better interact with each other. We built civilization on the notion of betterment for all. If we were only meant to be alone, we would still be living in caves and grunting at passers-by. I find tremendous purpose in being alone for periods of time, to allow inspiration and relaxation to flow through me. I also base my life on society, and the interactions I have with the people in it. To my mom, siblings, extended family, close friends and the like, and to my girlfriend: I love you.
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There’s a hidden magic in people. It comes out like fire as a child.
Like a smile on an old face, or the fury in a friend seeing you get beat up as they come to help. There need not be any enemies. A kid can make friends with a rock but two old friends break up because of business differences.
You can chalk it up to complexity, but the hidden magic in people can be just as complex. Like a stranger, after losing their job and with little income, paying for someone’s meal behind them in a drive thru. Or someone coming across a dead fox on a hiking trail and taking hours just to bury it with a stick.
Sure, I could describe the magic in many words: random acts of generosity, sacrifice with no gain, showing kindness during hate. Sometimes the neuro-chemicals give us strange answers to things of spite, leech, or straight hate where we just… love.
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When did the sun leave me?
The dark is so sudden. It shocks by contrast of a stark blue glow.
The glow clicks and rattles quietly so as not to disturb those sleeping.
Global communities soothe away the edges.
It feels nice to hurt a little, be it a sting behind the eyes or a fuzzing down the spine.
The future is exciting in its mysterious way.
When did the sun meet me?
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Vancouver is a nice place I hear. I’ve never been, is what I’m inferring. Though I’ve lived in this country of Canada for 25 years now, I’ve never traveled west of Ontario. However, there is a connection Vancouver now has with the city I was born and raised in: Burlington, and it is for what the nostalgia in me is screaming, not a good thing. If you were around ‘the Couve’ way back in 1975, you would have noticed a bunch of convenience stores crop up with the name ‘Mac’s Milk’. Forty years later and anyone raised in a suburban or urban area in Canada knows about Mac’s Milk. They went big, to say the least. I lived down the street from one and along-side Tim Hortons it was a Canadian staple in my mind. Convenience you have a name! I never bought milk from them, but slushies you bet’cha.
My childhood passed into young adulthood and my time hanging out in plazas faded away… I went off to school, returned and began working steady. No more time for Mac’s except for the old drunken journeys to chips land. It became a thing of the past… Then the other day I drove to Timmy’s for a double double and their sign was gone! I think to myself this just can’t be. Is business not going well for them or something? I remembered back some years when one of their other locations in Burlington closed due to something of that like. So now what’s this? Circle K?! It reeks of corporation. It’s simple to remember and the sign is easy on the eyes. If I were a child or simple-minded I’d love it.
Another one popped up down the road. There! Another one! What the heck, it’s more than just Mac’s Milk. What’s going on here? So I look into it, and to my utter lack of surprise, business stuff happened. Completely legitimate business stuff. Back in 2015, Mac’s Milk was bought out by Circle K. Okay. Along with other companies. This American giant had the big bucks; good for it. THEN, making complete sense looking back from the future, Circle K decided to switch all the names over. And guess in what city they began this implementation? THAT IS RIGHT, right down the road from yours truly. Now it all adds up, eh? How Vancouver connects to Burlington. From the left side of the country Mac’s began, and to the middle-right it fizzled out of existence. Nostalgia what have you done to me?
In the end I don’t really care, it was only at first. It was only when I first found out did I feel the pain of losing something I thought would be around long after I passed to the other side. It’s like a dog experiencing the loss of its owner. It doesn’t really know to do with itself. You were bigger than me Mac’s, and now you have been dissolved, fare thee well.
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There are always two sides to things. There is this and that. There is me and them. There is will and won’t, is and isn’t. Here and there. Right and wrong. Will they, won’t they. How and haven’t. Why and why not. Two extremes; light and dark.
Dimorphism.
Males and females split things rather cohesively, except that there is a spectrum. Males can be very feminine and females can be very masculine. The fact that there are trans people, gay people and lesbians builds the blur in the ‘black and white’ structure, even without tom boys and metrosexuals. It doesn’t make things equal out but allows to broaden one’s horizon on duality.
If it were taken further, many believe in a split between body and self. My body is just the housing for my soul. That is not true to those who are knowledgeable on neurology. The self is a construct of the brain put in place to help survival. We are not a special person, we are many people in this play at life. But duality still exists.
Self; selfish intentions, building one’s ego, being a self-made whatever, (be it songwriter, engineer, salesman/woman, officer of the law, whatever,) develops meaning in one’s life. And we all do so through the thought that it is us, and them. Or us against them. You can’t trust the police. You can’t trust the government. You can’t trust anybody. We all lie to an extent unless your life is devoted to honesty; which individuals do here and there and usually destroy relationships they’ve had by doing so. But it’s end goal is towards accomplishments, which is again a self thing.
Separation exists for everyone, and it is important to note it, like it is important to note your diet, exercise, professional interactions and so on. We are all in this life right here and now, and there is duality in it. For those in intimate relationships there is a positive way to look at it. Your entire life is a story. It started when you were born and it will go on until you die; perhaps noted on long after. And the other is the other story, to be attached to your life the moment you two meet. Afterward, the two great lifelong stories become intertwined, and create one tale. Chapters separate perspective of each, but mingle in a cocktail of experiences lived, and maybe noted for longer more.
We live even in our own selves with this duality as we rope our own thoughts and beliefs and dreams together. Shall I? Shall I not? One more day. No more. Let them have it. Not this time. Just breathe deep. Time to blow. Life is art and art is life. This thing we are all doing, in conjunction with the rest of nature, is a beautiful thing even if at times troubling. Trek on I say. Make experiences, and make note of them. Do the best you can, and try to enjoy the ride while it’s happening.
The Joe Van 