Tag: Thoughts

Monkes in Space

January 14th, 2023
Human beings do not hold dominion over this Earth. We don’t. We’ve acted like we do, at least the powerful have throughout all of history and still to this day, but it’s obviously not the case. Though, in our very recent past as a species through agriculture and religion we have separated ourselves very much from other animals. Where we once lived among the mammals, birds and reptiles, we now saw them and their ways as beneath us. We separated ourselves with houses and as time went on a great few geniuses would develop emerging technologies that propelled all of humanity forward. Sailing ships became steam-powered. Mail was outrun by telegrams. And before even the invention of the internet, we made rockets that flew through the sky and into the void of space itself! Such an amazing thing yet untouched by man!

For hundreds, even thousands of years, humans have often looked up at the stars and wondered not only our place in it, but our potential to traverse them one day. And in April of 1961, the first human being, Yuri Gagarin exited Earth’s atmosphere and entered the true great beyond. But Yuri was not the first animal to enter it. That goes to fruit flies in 1957. But what about primates, mammals even? Surely that record can go to the human Yuri? No. That record goes to Albert II, a rhesus monkey that was launched into space in June 1949. He died upon re-entry. He did not volunteer to be launched into space, and his death was but one of many. This video will go over the stories of the many monkeys and apes that were sent into the void.

But first I just want to say welcome back one and all to the review series that matters most! Monke in review. Whether the weather be weathered for furry friends across our genetic branches or not, we’ll be here to review the best and brightest among us. This will be different from the others. It’ll be the first of a 3-part mini series where I go over not one notable monke, but several within a field of human endevours. Today’s topic, is monkes in space.

If you want a comprehensive documentary about this subject, at least the ape part, then check out One Small Step: The Story of the Space Chimps. It’s a 2008 documentary film produced and directed by David Cassidy and Kristin Davy. The film chronicles the real story behind the early use of chimpanzees in space exploration. Coincidentally, also in 2008 the film Chimps in Space released. As far as I can find that was just a coincidence, and the films share only a superficial resemblance.

As I stated at the top, Before humans went into space, several other animals were used, including numerous non-human primates, so that scientists could investigate the biological effects of spaceflight. In an article written by Tara Gray on NASA’s own website, quote, “Before humans actually went into space, one of the prevailing theories of the perils of space flight was that humans might not be able to survive long periods of weightlessness. For several years, there had been a serious debate among scientists about the effects of prolonged weightlessness. American and Russian scientists utilized animals – mainly monkeys, chimps and dogs – in order to test each country’s ability to launch a living organism into space and bring it back alive and unharmed.”

The United States launched flights containing primate passengers primarily between 1948 to 1985. France launched two monkey-carrying flights in 1967. The Soviet Union had their fair share of primate launches, but more recently, from 1983 all the way up until 1996. And then there’s China, Argentina, and Iran, but we’ll get to them in due time.

Overall, it’s been recorded that thirty-two non-human primates flew in the space program. None flew more than once. Most were anesthetized before lift-off. And numerous backup primates also went through the programs but never flew. Of all the animals used by humans in space flight, the non-human primates included were rhesus macaque, crab-eating macaque, squirrel monkeys, pig-tailed macaques, and chimpanzees. The most-detailed primates we’ll cover were from the US flights, only because they were the least shady about it. And after doing the research I did, I’m under the opinion that what public records exist about this must only scratch the surface for the other countries.

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Let’s start at the beginning

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The first primate launched into subspace was Albert, a rhesus macaque, who on June 11, 1948, rode a rocket flight to over 63 km in Earth’s atmosphere on a V-2 rocket. Albert died of suffocation during the flight and may actually have died in the cramped space capsule before launch. The capsule was redesigned before the next flight to enlarge the quarters.

On June 14, 1949, our boy Albert II made the record for the first primate and mammal to pass the ‘Kármán line’ of 100 km which designates the beginning of space. His flight reached 134 km (83 mi) – before coming back down, where he died upon re-entry. A parachute failure caused his capsule to strike the ground at high speed. Albert’s respiratory and cardiological data were recorded up to the moment of impact.

On September 16, 1949, Albert III died below the Kármán line, at 35,000 feet (10.7 km), in an explosion of his V2. On December 8, Albert IV, the second mammal in space, flew on the last monkey V-2 flight and died on impact after another parachute failure after reaching 130.6 km. Monkeys later flew on Aerobee rockets.

On April 18, 1951, a monkey, possibly called Albert V, died due to parachute failure. On September 20th, 1951, Yorick, also called Albert VI, along with 11 mouse crewmates, reached 236,000 ft (72 km, 44.7 mi) and came down, successfully surviving the landing. He was the first monkey to do so (the dogs Dezik and Tsygan had survived a trip to space in July of that year), although he died two hours later. Two of the mice also died after recovery; all of the deaths were thought to be related to stress from overheating in the sealed capsule in the New Mexico sun while awaiting the recovery team. The Albert names were put to rest after this flight.

Patricia and Mike, two crab-eating monkeys, flew on May 21, 1952, and survived, but their flight was only 26 kilometers.

On December 13, 1958, Gordo, also called Old Reliable, a squirrel monkey, survived being launched aboard Jupiter AM-13. After flying for over 1,500 miles and reaching a height of 310 miles (500 km) Gorgo came back down over the south Atlantic only to be killed due to a mechanical error with the parachute recovery system in the nose of the rocket. Despite the loss of Gordo, the mission was considered a success by NASA. It had gone some way towards alleviating the concerns over how the human body would cope with weightlessness and the difficulties of space travel.

On May 28, 1959, aboard the JUPITER AM-18, Able, a rhesus macaque, and Miss Baker, a squirrel monkey from Peru, flew a successful mission. They travelled in excess of 16,000 km/h, and withstood 38 g (373 m/s2). Able died June 1, 1959, while undergoing surgery to remove an infected medical electrode, from a reaction to the anesthesia. While Baker took home the title of becoming the first monkey to survive the stresses of spaceflight and the related medical procedures that came after. Baker would later die November 29, 1984, at the age of 27 and is buried on the grounds of the United States Space & Rocket Center in Huntsville, Alabama. Able was preserved, and is now on display at the Smithsonian Institution‘s National Air and Space Museum.

On December 4, 1959, from Wallops Island, Virginia, Sam, a rhesus macaque, flew on the Little Joe 2 in the Mercury program to 53 miles high. On January 21, 1960, Miss Sam, also a rhesus macaque, followed, on Little Joe 1B although her flight was only to 8 mi (13 km) in a test of emergency procedures.

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CHIMPS

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Chimpanzees Ham and Enos flew in the Mercury program, with Ham becoming the first great ape or Hominidae in space. The name “Ham” was an acronym, taken from the laboratory that prepared him for his historic mission—the Holloman Aerospace Medical Center. His name was also in honor of the commander of the Laboratory, Lieutenant Colonel Hamilton “Ham” Blackshear. However, this wasn’t always the case. There were originally 40 chimpanzee flight candidates at Holloman. After evaluation, the number of candidates was reduced to 18, then to six, including Ham. Officially, Ham was known as No. 65 before his flight, and only renamed “Ham” upon his successful return to Earth. This was reportedly because officials did not want the bad press that would come from the death of a “named” chimpanzee if the mission were a failure. But despite this, among his handlers, No. 65 had been known as “Chop Chop Chang”. So what did Ham do?

Beginning in July 1959, the two-year-old chimpanzee was trained under the direction of neuroscientist Joseph V. Brady at the Lab to do simple, timed tasks in response to electric lights and sounds. During his pre-flight training, Ham was taught to push a lever within five seconds of seeing a flashing blue light; failure to do so resulted in an application of a light electric shock to the soles of his feet, while a correct response earned him a banana pellet.

On January 31, 1961, Ham was secured in a Project Mercury mission designated MR-2 and launched from Cape Canaveral, Florida, on a suborbital flight. Ham’s vital signs and tasks were monitored by sensors and computers on Earth. The capsule suffered a partial loss of pressure during the flight, but Ham’s space suit prevented him from suffering any harm. Ham’s lever-pushing performance in space was only a fraction of a second slower than on Earth, demonstrating that tasks could be performed in space. Ham’s capsule splashed down in the Atlantic Ocean and was recovered by the USS Donner later that day. His only physical injury was a bruised nose. His flight was 16 minutes and 39 seconds long. The results from his test flight led directly to the mission Alan Shepard made on May 5, 1961, aboard Freedom 7.

Ham later retired and lived another 17 years at the North Carolina Zoo. After his death on January 19, 1983, Ham’s body was given to the Armed Forces Institute of Pathology for necropsy. Following the necropsy, the plan was to have him stuffed and placed on display at the Smithsonian Institution, following Soviet precedent with pioneering space dogs Belka, and Strelka. However, this plan was abandoned after a negative public reaction. Ham’s skeleton is held in the collection of the National Museum of Health and Medicine, Silver Spring, Maryland, and the rest of Ham’s remains were buried at the International Space Hall of Fame in Alamogordo, New Mexico.

Ham is survived by numerous works of art done about him or inspired by him, including:

Ray Allen & The Embers released the song “Ham the Space Monkey” in 1961.

Tom Wolfe‘s 1979 book The Right Stuff which depicts Ham’s spaceflight, as do its 1983 film and 2020 TV adaptations.

The 2001 film Race to Space is a fictionalized version of Ham’s story; the chimpanzee in the film is named “Mac”.

In 2007, a French documentary made in association with Animal Planet, Ham—Astrochimp #65, tells the story of Ham as witnessed by Jeff, who took care of Ham until his departure from the Air Force base after the success of the mission.

The 2008 3D animated film Space Chimps follows anthropomorphic chimpanzees and their adventures in space. The primary protagonist is named Ham III, depicted as the grandson of Ham.

And, In 2008, Bark Hide and Horn, a folk-rock band from Portland, Oregon, released a song titled “Ham the Astrochimp”, detailing the journey of Ham from his perspective.

Following Ham came Enos. Enos was the second chimpanzee launched into space by NASA. He was the first and only chimpanzee, and third hominid after cosmonauts Yuri Gagarin and Gherman Titov, to orbit the Earth. Enos’s flight occurred on November 29, 1961.

Enos was brought from the Miami Rare Bird Farm on April 3, 1960. He completed more than 1,250 training hours at the University of Kentucky and Holloman Air Force Base. Training was more intense for him than for his predecessor Ham, because Enos was going to be exposed to weightlessness and higher gs for longer periods of time. His training included psychomotor instruction and aircraft flights.

Enos was selected for his Project Mercury flight only three days before launch. Two months prior, NASA launched Mercury-Atlas 4 on September 13, 1961, to conduct an identical mission with a “crewman simulator” on board. Enos flew into space aboard Mercury-Atlas 5 on November 29, 1961. He completed his first orbit in 1 hour and 28 minutes.

Enos was scheduled to complete three orbits, but the mission was aborted after two due to two issues: capsule overheating and a malfunctioning “avoidance conditioning” test subjecting the primate to 76 electrical shocks. Damn you NASA you sons of bitches!

The capsule was brought aboard USS Stormes in the late afternoon and Enos was immediately taken below deck by his Air Force handlers. Stormes arrived in Bermuda the next day.

Enos’s flight was a full dress rehearsal for the next Mercury launch on February 20, 1962, which would make John Glenn the first American to orbit Earth, after astronauts Alan Shepard, Jr. and Gus Grissom‘s successful suborbital space flights.

On November 4, 1962, Enos died of shigellosis-related dysentery, which was resistant to then-known antibiotics. He was constantly observed for two months before his death. Pathologists reported no symptoms that could be attributed or related to his previous space flight, so that was not the cause. While Ham is the more famous of the two chimps, Enos will always be remembered. But the humans were not done. The test flights continued.

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MORE

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Goliath, a squirrel monkey, died in the explosion of his Atlas rocket on November 10, 1961. A rhesus macaque called Scatback flew a sub-orbital flight on December 20, 1961 but was lost at sea after landing.

Bonny, a pig-tailed macaque, flew on Biosatellite 3, a mission which lasted from June 29 to July 8, 1969. This was the first multi-day monkey flight but came after longer human spaceflights were common. He died within a day of landing.

Spacelab 3 on the Space Shuttle flight STS-51-B featured two squirrel monkeys named No. 3165 and No. 384-80. The flight was from April 29 to May 6, 1985.

And that covers all of NASA’s recorded non-human space flights. From here we will now venture to a country that once tried to rule the world: France.

France

France launched a pig-tailed macaque named Martine on a Vesta rocket on March 7, 1967, and another named Pierette on March 13. These suborbital flights reached 243 km (151 mi) and 234 km (145 mi), respectively. Martine became the first monkey to survive more than a couple of hours after flying above the international definition of the edge of space. And that ends the tale of France in this entry. Next, we will travel to Argentina.

Argentina

On December 23, 1969, as part of the ‘Operación Navidad’ (Operation Christmas), Argentina launched Juan (a tufted capuchin, native to Argentina’s Misiones Province) using a two-stage Rigel 04 rocket. It ascended perhaps up to 82 kilometers and then was recovered successfully. Other sources give 30, 60 or 72 kilometers. All of these are below the international definition of space (100 km). Later, on February 1, 1970, the experience was repeated with a female monkey of the same species using an X-1 Panther rocket. Although it reached a higher altitude than its predecessor, it was lost after the capsule’s parachute failed.

Soviet Union and Russia

The Soviet /Russian space program used only rhesus macaques in its Bion satellite program in 1980s and 1990s. The names of the monkeys began with sequential letters of the Russian alphabet (А, Б, В, Г, Д, Е, Ё, Ж, З…). The animals all survived their missions but for a single fatality in post-flight surgery, after which the program was cancelled.
1. The first monkeys launched by Soviet space program, Abrek and Bion, flew on Bion 6. They remained aloft from December 14, 1983 – December 20, 1983.
2. Next came Bion 7 with monkeys Verny and Gordy from July 10, 1985 – July 17, 1985.
3. Then Dryoma and Yerosha on Bion 8 from September 29, 1987 – October 12, 1987. After returning from space Dryoma was presented to Cuban leader Fidel Castro.[citation needed]
4. Bion 9 with monkeys Zhakonya and Zabiyaka followed from September 15, 1989 to September 28, 1989. The two took the space endurance record for monkeys at 13 days, 17 hours in space.
5. Monkeys Ivasha and Krosh flew on Bion 10 from December 29, 1992 to January 7, 1993. Krosh produced offspring, after rehabilitation upon returning to Earth.
6. Lapik and Multik were the last monkeys in space until Iran launched one of its own in 2013. The pair flew aboard Bion 11 from December 24, 1996, to January 7, 1997. Upon return, Multik died while under anesthesia for US biopsy sampling on January 8. Lapik nearly died while undergoing the identical procedure. No follow-up research has been conducted to determine whether these two incidents, together with the 1959 loss of the US monkey Able in post-flight surgery, contraindicate the administration of anesthesia during or shortly after spaceflights. Further US support of the Bion program was cancelled.
China

The PRC spacecraft Shenzhou 2 launched on January 9, 2001. It is rumoured that inside the reentry module (precise information is lacking due to the secrecy surrounding China’s space program) a monkey, dog, and rabbit rode aloft in a test of the spacecraft’s life support systems. The SZ2 reentry module landed in Inner Mongolia on January 16. No images of the recovered capsule appeared in the press, leading to the widespread inference that the flight ended in failure. According to press reports citing an unnamed source, a parachute connection malfunction caused a hard landing.

Iran

On January 28, 2013, AFP and Sky News reported that Iran had sent a monkey in a “Pishgam” rocket to a height of 72 miles (116 km) and retrieved “shipment”. Iranian media gave no details on the timing or location of the launch, while details that were reported raised questions about the claim. Pre-flight and post-flight photos clearly showed different monkeys. The confusion was due to the publishing of an archive photo from 2011 by the Iranian Student News Agency (ISNA). According to Jonathan McDowell, a Harvard astronomer, “They just mixed that footage with the footage of the 2013 successful launch.”

On December 14, 2013, AFP and BBC reported that Iran again sent a monkey to space and safely returned it. Rhesus macaque Aftab (2013.01.28) and Fargam (2013.12.14) were each launched separately into space and safely returned. Researchers continue to study the effects of the space trip on their offspring.

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TAKEAWAY

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To quote Tara Gray again, “Over the past 50 years, American and Soviet scientists have utilized the animal world for testing. Despite losses, these animals have taught the scientists a tremendous amount more than could have been learned without them. Without animal testing in the early days of the human space program, the Soviet and American programs could have suffered great losses of human life. These animals performed a service to their respective countries that no human could or would have performed. They gave their lives and/or their service in the name of technological advancement, paving the way for humanity’s many forays into space.”

That is how her article ends. And listen, she’s just a writer, so this isn’t directed at her, but to all the scientists involved in animal experimentations at present, stop it. Get help. Words like ‘utilized the animal world for testing’ can instead be replaced with ‘abused the animal world for testing’, because why sugar coat it. If you’re fine with abusing animals, then who am I to stop you? There are hints in the reports that some animals were recovered after a tipping point, but they were brought to those tipping points because of you. We still find it so easy to use living intelligent creatures like clay due to a morphed human-centric worldview of domination, but we have to stop. If you get a donkey to carry your bags for you, feed it a carrot. But if you strap 50 donkeys to a giant motor and whip then endlessly while feeding then pellets, well, it’s not the same thing. We can use animals in ways that don’t abuse them. But to abuse animals, like shocking their feet to learn, or just physically stuffing them in tiny compartments they quickly die in… it’s just not right in my eyes.

Do I find space fascinating? Yes. Do I want to go into space one day? Yeah! And part of that is grappling with the understanding that our spaceflight knowledge as a species comes off the back of so many dead primates. Would it something like advancing to other worlds where we as a collected species might do better at protecting other primates better, from ourselves, so is it just impossible to get everyone on the same page? I don’t know. But I hope it’s the former.

As we close out today’s video, I want to pass off a question. How do you guys feel about animal testing in general. Do you feel like we can move past it at this point? Do we have the technology to simulate what we would otherwise need test subjects for? Let me know. Thank you all as always for checking out my monke in review and until next time, sleep well fellow primates. Peace.

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I AM NOT

November 1st, 2022
My name is Joe Van, and I am filled with absences, though that statement doesn’t track grammatically. Instead, I will simply say that I AM NOT most things. This line of thought is nothing new to me, nor is it new in general, nonetheless, as a kid I remember asking myself what would happen if I wished for everything. At first it would grant me wealth and fame, great things for any aspiring young boy to strive toward, but then I began to worry. It would grant me all forms of mental disorders. I would also become every person and every animal. Not just that, but every object, like a shovel, the dirt being dug up by the shovel. I’d be a balloon and the wind sucking the balloon away from a crying girl that would also be me. I’d be a bed where a couple would perform an affair. I would be a knife used by a serial killer, me slicing into other people who were also me. To be everything would be a curse.

The reason I’m writing all this now is because I’m reflecting on my own ignorance. I recently found out how to count in ASL. It’s not the typical way for those who don’t know. In the wake of my ignorance, I’m again thinking about what it would be like to embody more than myself, but instead of everything, I’m wondering what it would be like to experience everyone. In my attempt at mapping out this human-centric train of thought there will be general experiences too terrible to describe, and countless more I’ll simply miss, whether it’s because it slipped my mind or because I simply don’t know what I don’t know. The human experience is so vast that we can say with certainty, some experiences were surely had that would have made the greatest stories ever told, but it wasn’t recorded and thus lost to time. This vastness is why we can create endlessly new tales to put into books, podcasts, or films. So, without further adieu, let’s begin.

I’m not someone kissing the forehead of their newborn child for the first time.

I’m not an orphaned Indian child running from the hands of human traffickers.

I’m not a First Nations woman being harassed for her inherent traits.

But I’m also not opening my eyes after a gender-affirming surgery, knowing that I will finally feel at home in my own body.

I’m not believing a story depicting victims of gun violence as actors.

I’m not feeling the bliss of heroin come over my body.

I’m not at the cusp of finishing a gene sequence with my team of scientists after months of harrowing work.

I’m not the owner of a business shutting down due to the new global recession.

I didn’t just successfully land a backflip for the first time.

I’m not living in a nation under attack.

I’m not walking down the aisle toward the love of my life.

I’m not nor ever will be under the belief that my leaders are cannibals.

I’m not someone successful in the entertainment industry.

I’m not struggling with anger management issues.

I’ve not experienced the loss of a parent.

I’m not sitting by the beachfront of my new property.

I’m not fighting for my freedom to free my hair in public.

I’m not feeling the joy seeing my child find romantic love for the first time.

I’m not someone looking into the eyes of their parents that just accepted my sexuality after years of estrangement.

I am not most people. I have not experienced so many things both good and bad that are happening around the world to specific people, and likely never will. I have the privilege of ignorance to not know what I don’t know and not be affected by what I don’t know. Things like oppression, prejudice, and ridicule by others for inherent traits and innocent hobbies should never exist, but for all the other experiences humanity has to offer, some possible for anyone to have and others specific to gender, culture, language, interests like food, sports, religion, stories, music, social events, work, or ideas; they are all things deserving equally of admiration, representation, and celebration. Each are valid and deserving of presentation.

I haven’t travelled much in my life, and while doing so can broaden one’s horizon to countries and cultures they might never experienced before, stories too offer a glimpse into the vast world of humanity, and that’s why I love stories. Life is so short, and the world is so big. It’s hard for one person to live a full life on their own, but to know others is what makes this crazy thing all have colour to it. Life is a dance, and your partners are everyone you engage with. Family, friends, neighbours, commuters, co-workers, passersby. You dance with them all. And not just them, but the stories you hear, the animals you see in documentaries, the Earth you climb, and the fictional characters you root for. Every memory you make throughout your whole life is what makes you, and it’s all but a blink in the grand scale of time. It’s not enough to meet every person, share every conversation, or learn everything. But, with our fraction of time, we can just do our best to understand people in general and show them the respect you’d want in return. We can’t know what every person we encounter is going through, but we can know that they have had an entire life leading up to each moment, just like us, and that’s worth something.

In that commonality I will hang my hat and close this off. Thank you for checking this out and as always, I wish you nothing but love in your life, and ask you to remember to keep on thinking. Until next time, ciao for now.
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AGI

October 1st, 2022
In #60 of Thoughts I dive into three specific thought experiments relating to Artificial General Intelligence. I weigh the ideas and validity in the concept of AGI and the hold it has on our future. Enjoy!
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Thoughts: Choice

May 8th, 2022
Welcome to #53 of Thoughts. In today’s episode I go over the topic of: choice, while tying in free will, causality, and determinism. Enjoy!

THOUGHTS: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyW0IXUsqiMV1g7qYcuJxhqxpIszT-o-k

REVIEWS: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyW0IXUsqiMXvgFCWmE9IikMvSXs35HJL

Z O N E S: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyW0IXUsqiMVXwdSqC9X7L1UDDapgcyxT

MONKE: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyW0IXUsqiMX_doqCZdBtnAttTVzQVlxH

TIER LISTS: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyW0IXUsqiMXr-y5V5quN5w-K3-xVPT4U

PRIMATE NATION: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyW0IXUsqiMWM_8uM9jsS-VyxDPEJ8p_V

PATREON: https://youtu.be/a_bLwZJzJno

SECRET PODCAST: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/jd-streams/id1541025716

UNPLUGGED PODCAST: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChBigRAO1r1s5hlS57jiP8g

TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@thejoevandotcom?lang=en
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Impossible Places

May 6th, 2022
Impossible places. It’s a vague title, I know, but I didn’t know what to officially call this one. Today, I want to go over the concept of impossible places, but ones you desire deeply to go to. Kind of like the inverse to liminal spaces. Where one gives an eerie sense of familiarity, one that hints toward a nightmare scenario of a real childhood experience you had in a specific environment that you buried deep in your subconscious, only now for it to come back to haunt you, the OTHER is one that has no connection to anything you know, and is almost always an environment you can never go to, but deeply desire to.

Welcome back everyone to another Thoughts piece by me, ya boy, Joe Van. So I want to start things off by giving you guys an example of this topic through my first brush with it. Considering I hardly have the words now to define this sensation, you can imagine when I first felt this as a child. I think I was in grade 3 or 4. I finished reading the Deltora Quest series and their subsequent spin offs by author Emily Rodda, and learned about another series she had written called Rowan of Rin. While reading it she described the land Rowan lived in. It had Irish-style rolling hills with a monumental mountain on the horizon line. At this point in my life I wasn’t drawing Canada as just a circle anymore. Hold the applause, thank you thank you. I knew the basic layout of the world. I was also previously exposed to other fictional lands like middle earth and the afore mentioned Deltora, so the concept wasn’t alien to me, yet for some reason with this specific place of Rin… It did something to me. It gave me a longing I had never felt before. I had dreams about being in that land. I told my mom about it and asked her if such a place existed, and she shrugged, suggesting Switzerland or the UK without such high mountains, but it settled in my mind that I would never truly be able to visit a place I had such a vivid imagination of. It was disappointing in an existential kind of way, like when you truly grasp that you will die one day.

I was able to get on with my life, but the feeling of longing for impossible places never went away, it just moved on. I found infatuation for places like 2005’s The Fountain’s future spaceship bubble, or Halo’s ring. It gave me a love for clouds, and space, these places I will never go, or maybe I had this love all along and I’m just attributing an initial trigger to Rowan of Rin because it’s the first time I felt so strongly for such a thing, but however you spin it, it has become an integral part of my personality. Films like the Matrix, Cube, and the YouTube series of the Back Rooms all scratch that larger than life itch I have.

I’ll regularly download pictures of nebulae or illustrations of otherworldly environments from the internet just to look at in admiration. What am I doing when I do this to myself? Am I a masochist? Am I exercising my own restraint? Humbling myself? Reliving that strong childhood feeling I had in late spring? All of the above? Who knows for sure. Even if I spent an extensive amount of time with a psychoanalyst, I feel like they would just come up with their own meaning to explain what I’m feeling just to shut me up about it. The whole thing is otherworldly at its core so how can it truly be locked down in a digestible explanation?

The best I can do with this video is give a theory or two to scratch at the itch of having an answer. We humans have certain instincts, like hunger, sexual desire, defending family and friends, and having fun at musical venues. These are all generally part of what makes us human. Another instinct I think we have, that comes out in today’s culture with the travel freaks, is a sense of exploration, a sense of entering the unknown. Other animals show similar activity like those that migrate, following the foods and seasons, but with humanity there’s clearly something more existential going on. We were all once homeless, in a sense. Before agriculture existed, there was little reason to settle down in one location, and so we ventured out into the unknown. At first it was with nothing but the newly invented meme that would be called clothing. It kept us warm in the colder climates, which had essentially life hacked our biology. We were now unlocked, able to go anywhere we dared. And that’s what many of our ancestors did. They explored never-before-seen lands; grassy hills, pine woods, beaches, swamps, rocky cliffs, mesas, seas, and mountains, Gandalf, mountains! This period in our collected history of constantly experiencing new incredible landscapes lasted tens and tens of thousands of years. It effectively changed the way we think. Evolution is a slow process, but incremental change can occur in a timespan like that.

Our psychology, as the smartest creatures on this planet, are rightfully complex and hard to crack, especially for our own selves. So it goes that I tip my hat to the universe, time, and all things and inventive people that changed the course of our species’ lives forever, bringing us to this point. While I wish I had all the answers, to both the universe and my own psyche, there is a strange sense of admiration and awe in the face of the unknowable, in a longing for impossible places, and in the drive for exploration.

And that’ll wrap up today’s Thoughts piece. As always thank you so much for listening, I wish you nothing but love in your life, and remember if any topic or concept peeks your interest to make sure to dig into it further by doing your own research, and finally remember to keep on thinking. If you liked this thoughts piece you might also like the final frontier. Until next time, ciao for now.
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Neophobia

May 5th, 2022
It’s late at night, and you’re home alone. You’re young and this is the first time it’s happened. You were excited at first but as the sun’s light faded beyond the horizon and darkness covered the outside world, you were compelled to turn on every light in the house. An urging sense of fear overtook you, and now you’re checking every room to make sure you really are alone. Next are the windows. You pull every drape and drop every blind. If a window doesn’t have one, you close the door to that room. You check for any slight crack in the coverings, and now become acutely aware of every subtle sound there is to hear. A ticking clock. Distant traffic from the main roads. A faint sound you can’t label. It was a wisping sound, or was it a whisper? At this point you are terrified, but you don’t know what about. You hear the sound again. It isn’t the wind. It can’t be. It isn’t consistent enough. What is it? You feel like you could die as you stand still in the living room, you head bowed, your fists clenched. All you can do now is listen. The sound comes again. It lasts for no more than 2 seconds, but it echoes in your mind on a constant loop.

You will not survive the night. You are certain of it. You can imagine someone breaking in, or they are already inside, waiting to simply reveal themselves to you. The sound comes again. It is beginning to have a pattern. Maybe it is just the wind, coming in small gusts, or maybe that’s just what it wants you to think. It is no longer an imagined person. It could still be human, but now it could also be a creature, one that has the same intelligence as humans, maybe even more, and it is a predator. Right now, it is slowly driving you mad before taking its action. Is it an alien? A vampire? A demon? An eldritch god? Some other form of entity so terrifying and unknowable that to even fear such a thing doesn’t make sense. You are already dead and don’t even know it. Could this all be a dream? Or are you in purgatory? The sound comes again. This time it brings a wave of relief. At least the sound is something real. It brings you back to the present. Your fear seems to revert. You imagine a human intruder again, come to kill you. But then that fear slowly fades away too. You raise your head to find yourself where you’ve always been, alone in your house. You feel foolish to have let yourself become so psychologically vulnerable. You take your first step in a while to realize that your muscles are sore from standing.

You make your way to your bedroom, sick of the night and wanting to sleep it all away. You close the door behind you, thinking you should turn the lights off, but won’t fear creeps back into your mind and you do everything you can to push it back down. You turn your lamp on and turn the main lights off. It seems darker than it should be, but you know your eyes will adjust. You get in bed and distract yourself by listening to music. It works profoundly well, carrying you off to sleep. But then, you hear a sound. It’s not a wisp, it’s a creak. You look down the length of your bed and your room has become longer than you remember. It stretches away from the lamp’s light into pure darkness. In that darkness you become aware of a presence. It doesn’t make a sound. You can’t see it. There is no way you can know anything is in the darkness, but you know with complete certainty that your gaze into the void is being met right back.

It’s not right, none of it is right. It shouldn’t have come to this. If you were always going to die tonight, why couldn’t it have been when you were standing in the living room? Why did IT wait until you asleep in bed to come for you? IT must have wanted that fear to subside. Maybe it makes a fresh wave of fear even greater? The thought is sickening. It seems sexual- like the act of intercourse being prepare beforehand by foreplay. It’s evil. You hate it. You hate this thing with everything you have. You want to kill it, trash at its throat, screaming the whole time. But as you lay, you are still, and silent. Your mind is on fire. And then…

You wake up. Natural morning light cascades into your bedroom, even against the muffling of drapery, and you blink to assure that you really are awake. The light beside your bed isn’t necessary so you turn it off. You feel like a spell is lifting. You remember how terrified you were last night but can’t pin down about what. Against your own wishes to forget the whole ordeal, you rethink what happened, trying hard to relive every moment. It started with lights, then the windows, then sounds. The fear appears again. It trickles down your spine like a faucet turned off that still had a few drops to release. You catch yourself attempting the same self-destructive imagining that cause you to become so afraid before. But as you do so you still question your own thinking, wondering why you tried to hard to make yourself afraid. And afraid of what? You couldn’t pin that down either. It wasn’t exact. It was a shapeless, out of focus fear. The main thing was that you didn’t know. Whatever it was you feared, you simply didn’t know.

Thank you for stopping by for to another thought piece by me ya boy Joe Van, and the topic today is: Fear of the unknown. I’ve covered fear before, but not like this.
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Halo Infinite

May 4th, 2022
Halo Infinite is the latest mainline instalment to the Halo video game franchise. It has come to us six years after the last main instalment which had most fans feeling like the new developers, 343 industries, missed the point of its story and thus lost the spirit of the original Halo games. For most, including myself, Halo’s campaign was an introduction to concepts like giant ring worlds, alien zombies, and lying leaders losing their grasp on power. Halo was at its best… in the original trilogy. Saying this should not be controversial. The first three games were what created the fanbase and set the standard with which all future titles had to try and live up to. And the most interesting thing about that in my mind is how Bungie went about making their stories. They did the very same thing that 343 had done, just with more liberty. 343 was tasked / obligated with emulating past Halo games, something they seemed not wanting to do. Bungie on the other hand, used other science fiction concepts and storylines to create their vision, without the restraints of expectations. And now, it seems, with Halo Infinite 343 has taken that expectation approach fans have wanted all along while also continuing to craft their original, different, storyline.

Before going on may I just say, hello everyone, and welcome back to another thought piece by me ya boy Joe Van! Today’s subject is, well, pretty specific. A single game. I’ve never done a thoughts piece on such a specific subject, so I want to take a different approach other than just giving a simple review. Mix things up a little.

To start with that I want to dive into how Bungie borrowed themes and ideas from elsewhere, and shook them all up to create their own story. The first Halo game did this the heaviest. Its opening roll call was ripped straight out of James Cameron’s Aliens. The concept of a ring world itself was taken from the Ringworld novels by Larry Niven, published in the 1970’s. And other written influences include: Ender’s Game, The Vang, and Armor. For some people, this is nothing new. Fun facts-tidbits of their favourite franchise. And to all you literarily cultured academics, good for you! But to me, I didn’t learn about these influences until recently. Like even the ringworld books. I saw the movie Elysium and thought to myself, hey, that’s Halo! My boy Blompkamp ripped off that movie he couldn’t get enough money for! Now I know better. -Side note here but isn’t it crazy how business comes before art in cinema? The whole thing’s a business parading as an artform. But anyway, I DID know about the Aliens rip-off because I saw that first hand. Then when Avatar came out and there were names for things like banshees for the aircraft I was like ‘oh this is James Cameron hitting back at Bungie taking his things’.

Back on point, further huge influences were such works as The Bible and other historical texts. Spartans, Elites, Brutes, Jackals, Arbiters, Ghosts and Banshees; all these terms come from Abrahamic/Roman times. Tales were spun back with the same names used. I bring all this up not to point out some kind of unoriginality taking place in the Bungie games but rather how the games’ stories were at their strongest when they used outside sources to bolster the tale they wanted to tell. Halo, even that word, taken from another meaning.

So what about 343’s Halos? Well, they aren’t entirely going for their own thing either. Those games are based heavily off of literary material too, only instead of it being outside sources, they’re based off of their own books’ series! Now in saying that accusatorily, several extremely talented novelists have made Halo books over the years. Eric Nylund, Joseph Staten, and Greg Bear are my personal favourites. The stories they’ve created are easily worthy of film adaptation in my opinion, though only if it were done right of course which wouldn’t happen because execs would only green light it if it was injected with basic dialogue and topical comedy and other stuff that would alien both a casual viewer and a fan- but I get away from myself!

Halo as a universe is a vast and rich pool full of story potential. There are so many different factions and histories and mysteries and perspectives. It makes for great reading, however, when then taking story inspirations from said fountain of novels, ya gotta be careful to properly adapt. There are examples of successful novel-to-game adaptations, such as The Witcher and Metro, witch show that such a feat is possible, but in this case you have a weird game-to-novel-to-game switchiroo thingamajig going on. It could have led to an easy pull, but did it stick the landing? It’s up to each individual person. I can’t tell you that, but what I can tell you is that the popularity of Halo unfortunately began to see a decline after Halo Reach. Is it the authors’ faults for this? No! It’s just bad implementation, again, in my opinion. Many can, and have, said these newer Halo games are better than the original, so all this talk is just my perspective.

But from my perspective I feel like there was no ONE thing 343 did to lose Halo’s status of greatness. My theory is hearing Bungie leave played a role in viewer concern, and then having a multiplayer desperate to be like other shooters did them in. Campaign-wise my biggest gripe were the prometheans. They were not fun to battle against. I missed the scarabs, warthog runs, and sheer stakes involved in the OG campaigns. These new games felt unnecessary.

After defeating the didact, then facing a new evil Cortana, Halo Infinite found itself at a tough starting point. It was the third part to a story, but one that felt like just a part two to Halo 5. This trilogy 343 made felt far more disjointed than Bungie’s trilogy. Where would this final act in their trilogy lead us? Well, some including myself theorized it would finalize the Chief’s story, having him die or retire. Others speculated Halo Infinite would see the flood return by Cortana’s hand and force the banished and the UNSC to work together against prometheans to stop the flood. Where the story DID end up going was definitely unpredictable, but also incomplete.

343 made a concerted effort to bring back what people loved about the Bungie games. They did so in a way that didn’t take away from what they added, but steered the boat to find that nostalgia fans like myself were so desperate for. The art style was the biggest overhaul, and one half of their greatest achieve in my mind. The other half was the gameplay style. Halo looked and felt like Halo again. Rejoice! They kept mechanics like clamber, sprint, zoom for all guns, and slide, but did so in a way that didn’t take away from the core sandbox mechanics. Equipment was reinstalled from Halo 3 days and Chief no longer received fall damage. RIP to his knees but thank the forerunners for it. All of this in one word is: Freedom. But now where did the story go? That’s the biggest impact for me. A game can have the world’s funnest mechanics, but if the story is doo doo, that’s what I’ll remember the most. And infinite’s story, by comparison to Halo 5, is absolutely amazing. It’s a palette cleanser. It’s a return to basics. It does its best and damned-est to reinvigorate the main story thread, and it did so, superbly. However, it is far from perfect. Infinite’s story served to achieve several goals and in doing so didn’t have the same kind of freedom the gameplay had. It wasn’t able to spread its wings and soar.

The biggest blunder is that it is unfinished, though talk of story DLCs should mean that that feeling will not… be infinite. It’s story is hyper focused on the Chief, waving goodbye to the plethora of characters introduced in Halo 4 and 5. If 343 wanted… they could have had a soul crushing campaign where you start off fighting alongside all the characters you’ve come to know and love but against overwhelming odds, and level by level you witness each and every beloved character die off until only you, the chief, stand as the last chance at stopping Cortana. It would be brutal, and leave the story truly at an end, but work at giving weight to and concluding this new galactic threat known as Cortana once and for all. But I can see why they didn’t go for that. Instead, the campaign serves us a message of hope against dire odds, and those dire odds are simply: The Banished.

I appreciate from a gameplay perspective their focus and use of the aliens we love to kill as the main enemies. It was the right move to switch away from using prometheans, but the story now had to have them be the main antagonist, a threat far smaller than the one Cortana was meant to be. Another faction is introduced later in the campaign known as skimmers, an off-brand drone variant, and sentinels make a return so we still get some variety, but nothing would have been better than facing off against the flood again. I would have sacrificed the open world if it meant having the flood return! Just sayin’. But back on track, we are introduced to a new (other than the skimmers) alien species known as the Xalanyn with one single individual: the Harbinger. She works to give us that biggest threat imaginable vibe we lost from Cortana. The Xalanyn are said to be worse than the flood by the forerunners, a heavy statement, especially because we never end up seeing why! The campaign ends with us stopping the threat before it comes. After defeating every local spartan-killer, we take out the Harbinger. Not seeming worse than the flood, honestly. But that’s not the end of the threat! Once we finish her off it is revealed to just us the audience that the banished leader thought dead (by no one) is actually alive! And he is seen awakening the Xalanyn. So the story is far from over.

The original campaigns had a lot more going for them story-wise. They had fun, adventure, fear, and stakes like you wouldn’t believe! But as far as a 343 Halo game goes, this is my personal favourite. Infinite does an incredible job showing us Chief’s strength, AND short comings. It shows us his love for humanity through Fernando, and his fear to trust with the Weapon. It even shows us a side to him he only really saw in Halo 3, with his respect and understanding to an enemy, Escherum. In Halo 2 and the very start of Halo 3, Master Chief was ready to fill the Arbiter with bullets, but in Halo 3 we see his understanding toward a fellow soldier. We see his respect and even kinship develop. And that form of story telling is the main through-line of Infinite’s story, relationships. Threats loom over every crest, but so does hope. Hope for a better tomorrow, hope for trust and respect for our fellow people, and understanding of even our enemies. That was my main takeaway from its story, and what I love most about Halo infinite.

Oh, and it’s fukin’ grappleshot! WEEEE!

Thank you guys so much for listening to this thought piece! I appreciate your time, wish you nothing but love in your life, and ask you to remember to keep on thinking. Until next time… wake me when you need me.
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Carapace

February 19th, 2022
I was born into a opened, burning world. Its wrath is old, tenable, and ceaseless. My fingers coil and brow furrows. I struggle to rise. The air weighs heavy on me. I pain to see through muddied light, but it seems, sadly, only the same sits staring on the horizon.

Yet something stirs. Now change comes. I feel a breeze. Wind brings new feelings. But it is a chill. My skin prickles. I wince and recoil, left only with one choice; I must construct a carapace for the long road ahead.

Nowhere is safe. Both burning and chills pass all obstacles to meet me. They breach the external self, and the internal. I am consumed by it. The carapace is all I need. Day and night I toil under the weight of it all.

Yet its construction will never end. Nothing can save me from the struggle. Momentary relief enters between waves, but are only destined to end. The pain persists. I may never complete my carapace, may, but I CAN do one thing. I can only persist. Persist, until my time is done.
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AUTHORITY Scene Review

January 11th, 2022
Here’s the first video of 2022! Welcome back, and to kick things off we’re going to start with this little micro review of the novel Authority, from the Southern Reach Trilogy. Here we will go over one single scene in the novel and break down how it nails everything a scene can and should be. I hope y’all enjoy! Let me know if you’ve read Authority and/or if you feel the same way about this scene from pages 144 and 145.
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Scary Stories

October 30th, 2021
Evening ghouls and ghosts, and welcome to another special Halloween episode from me, ya boy, Joe Van! This year we shall dive into three chilling scary stories that were told to me in my youth. Enjoy! And let me know if any of them got to you 👻

PLAYLISTS- SPEECHES: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyW0IXUsqiMVngmiBwHfhWFwLgfLcfRWU MONKE: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyW0IXUsqiMX_doqCZdBtnAttTVzQVlxH MOVIE TALK: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyW0IXUsqiMXvgFCWmE9IikMvSXs35HJL Z O N E S: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyW0IXUsqiMVXwdSqC9X7L1UDDapgcyxT THOUGHTS: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyW0IXUsqiMV1g7qYcuJxhqxpIszT-o-k TIER LISTS: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyW0IXUsqiMXr-y5V5quN5w-K3-xVPT4U

— 00:00 INTRODUCTION 01:42 College 04:54 Camping 07:37 Ballerina 14:17 Conclusion —

WEBSITE: https://thejoevan.com/ TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@thejoevandotcom?lang=en PODCAST: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/jd-streams/id1541025716 BOOKS: https://www.smashwords.com/books/byseries/38534 PRIMATE NATION: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBB6G7uSxXg&t=2s KONG IS BEST: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4JYmM-86PE CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwmAfQyH-NmPbOsDesbyksg

#Halloween #JoeVan #ScaryStories #PrimateNation #Story #Movies #PrimateNation #Monke #Primates #Canada #Toronto #Ontario #Apes #Moral #Monkey #Review #Presentation #College #Camping #Ballerina
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Tech, Ghosts, and Couch Guy – Unplugged #39

October 8th, 2021
Welcome everyone to episode #39 of The JAD: Unplugged! Joe, Aidan, and Derron are here with special guest Michael to give you insight on the topics covered in today’s episode: -Technology -Ghosts -Couch Guy

PODCAST: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/jd-streams/id1541025716 JOE VAN: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwmAfQyH-NmPbOsDesbyksg DERRON G: https://www.youtube.com/user/TheDerronG MOVIE MOTEL: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCToUfgtdZ2WgEcuXflVg6Ug #Canada #Podcast #Unplugged #Toronto #JoeVan #DerronG #MovieMotel
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Kanzi 太

September 25th, 2021
Hola Primate Nation! Welcome to another addition of Monke in Review, where we go over monkes both big and small across history! Today I present: Kanzi the bonobo! Kanzi is known to this day as the world’s smartest bonobo. Let me know below if you’ve already heard about this monke or just learned today!

PLAYLISTS- MONKE: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyW0IXUsqiMX_doqCZdBtnAttTVzQVlxH MOVIE TALK: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyW0IXUsqiMXvgFCWmE9IikMvSXs35HJL Z O N E S: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyW0IXUsqiMVXwdSqC9X7L1UDDapgcyxT THOUGHTS: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyW0IXUsqiMV1g7qYcuJxhqxpIszT-o-k TIER LISTS: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyW0IXUsqiMXr-y5V5quN5w-K3-xVPT4U

— 00:00 INTRODUCTION 02:50 LEXICON 04:59 DISCOVERY OF INTELLIGENCE 06:43 ANECDOTES 08:12 CONCLUSION —

WEBSITE: https://thejoevan.com/ TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@thejoevandotcom?lang=en PODCAST: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/jd-streams/id1541025716 BOOKS: https://www.smashwords.com/books/byseries/38534 PRIMATE NATION: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBB6G7uSxXg&t=2s KONG IS BEST: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4JYmM-86PE CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwmAfQyH-NmPbOsDesbyksg

#MonkeInReview #JoeVan #Kanzi #太 #PrimateNation #Story #Movies #PrimateNation #Monke #Primates #Canada #Toronto #Ontario #Apes #Moral #Monkey #Review #Presentation #Bonobo #Smartest #Intelligence
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Pigs

September 17th, 2021
So, what the heck are pigs, I hear you ask. A pig is any of the animals in the genus Sus, within the even-toed ungulate family Suidae. Pigs include domestic pigs (Sus domesticus) and their ancestor, the common Eurasian wild boar (Sus scrofa), along with other species. Pigs, like all suids, are native to the Eurasian and African continents, ranging from Europe to the Pacific islands. Juvenile pigs are known as piglets. Pigs are highly social and intelligent animals. With around 1 billion individuals alive at any time, the domestic pig is among the most populous large mammals in the world. Pigs are omnivores and can consume a wide range of food. Pigs are biologically similar to humans and are thus frequently used for human medical research.

NAME ORIGIN – It probably comes from Old English *picg, found in compounds, but the ultimate origin is unknown. Originally “young pig,” (the word for adults was swine) apparently related to German bigge, or Dutch big. (“but the phonology is difficult”) Another Old English word for “pig” was fearh, related to furh “furrow,” from PIE *perk– “dig, furrow” (source also of Latin porc-us “pig,” see pork). “This reflects a widespread IE tendency to name animals from typical attributes or activities” [Roger Lass]. Synonyms grunter, oinker are from sailors’ and fishermen’s euphemistic avoidance of uttering the word pig at sea, a superstition perhaps based on the fate of the Gadarene swine, who drowned.

PHYSIQUE – A typical pig has a large head with a long snout that is strengthened by a special prenasal bone and by a disk of cartilage at the tip. The snout is used to dig into the soil to find food and is a very acute sense organ. Each foot has four hoofed toes, with the two larger central toes bearing most of the weight, and the outer two also being used in soft ground. Adult pigs have a total of 44 teeth. The rear teeth are adapted for crushing. In the male, the canine teeth form tusks, which grow continuously and are sharpened by constantly being ground against each other.

SAVAGERY – Occasionally, captive mother pigs may savage their own piglets, often if they become severely stressed. Some attacks on newborn piglets are non-fatal. Others may kill the piglets and sometimes, the mother may eat them. An estimated 50% of piglet fatalities are due to the mother attacking, or unintentionally crushing, the newborn pre-weaned animals.

DISTRIBUTION – The ancestor of the domestic pig is the wild boar, which is one of the most numerous and widespread large mammals. Its many subspecies are native to all but the harshest climates of continental Eurasia and its islands and Africa as well, from Ireland and India to Japan and north to Siberia. Long isolated from other pigs on the many islands of Indonesia, Malaysia, and the Philippines, pigs have evolved into many different species, including wild boar, bearded pigs, and warty pigs. Humans have introduced pigs into Australia, North and South America, and numerous islands, either accidentally as escaped domestic pigs which have gone feral, or as wild boar.

RELATIONSHIP – Most pigs today are domesticated pigs raised for meat (known as pork). Miniature breeds are commonly kept as pets. Because of their foraging abilities and excellent sense of smell, people in many European countries use them to find truffles. Apart from meat, pig skin is turned into leather, and their hairs are used to make brushes. The relatively short, stiff, coarse pig hairs are called bristles, and were once so commonly used in paintbrushes that in 1946 the Australian Government launched Operation Pig Bristle. In May 1946, in response to a shortage of pig bristles for paintbrushes to paint houses in the post-World War II construction boom, the Royal Australian Air Force (RAAF) flew in 28 short tons of pig bristles from China, their only commercially available source at the time. Human skin is very similar to pig skin, therefore many preclinical studies employ pig skin. In addition to providing use in biomedical research and for drug testing, genetic advances in human healthcare have provided a pathway for domestic pigs to become xenotransplantation candidates for humans.

CULTURE – Pigs have been important in culture across the world since neolithic times. They appear in art, literature, and religion. In Asia the wild boar is one of 12 animal images comprising the Chinese zodiac, while in Europe the boar represents a standard charge in heraldry. In Islam and Judaism pigs and those who handle them are viewed negatively, and the consumption of pork is forbidden. Pigs are alluded to in animal epithets and proverbs.

ENVIRONENTAL DAMAGE – Domestic pigs that have escaped from urban areas or were allowed to forage in the wild, and in some cases wild boars which were introduced as prey for hunting, have given rise to large populations of feral pigs in North and South America, Australia, New Zealand, Hawaii, and other areas where pigs are not native. Accidental or deliberate releases of pigs into countries or environments where they are an alien species have caused extensive environmental change. Their omnivorous diet, aggressive behaviour, and their feeding method of rooting in the ground all combine to severely alter ecosystems unused to pigs. Pigs will even eat small animals and destroy nests of ground nesting birds. The Invasive Species Specialist Group lists feral pigs on the list of the world’s 100 worst invasive species. Because of biological similarities, pigs can harbour a range of parasites and diseases that can be transmitted to humans. Examples of such zoonoses include trichinosis, Taenia solium, cysticercosis, and brucellosis. Pigs also host large concentrations of parasitic ascarid worms in their digestive tracts. Some strains of influenza are endemic in pigs, the most significant of which are H1N1, H1N2, and H3N2, the former of which has caused several outbreaks among humans, including the Spanish flu, 1977 Russian flu pandemic, and the 2009 swine flu pandemic. Pigs also can acquire human influenza.

INTELLIGENCE – Pigs are believed to be one of the most intelligent animals, following chimps, dolphins, and elephants. We might think our dogs are the smartest animals when the can roll over or shake on command, but they surpass even man’s best friend. Their intelligence was first discovered in experiments in the 1990s. Pigs were taught several tasks using a cursor on a computer screen. They learned these tasks as quickly as chimps. They could move a cursor on a screen with their snouts, as well as use the cursor to distinguish between scribbles they knew and those they were seeing for the first time.

CONCLUSION – When we look at the traits that make pigs unique, we see a traditional farm animal, but when we look at the traits pigs share with us humans, it is impossible for us to hold that blindfold over our eyes that these guys are nothing more than mere food fodder. Whether you always understood the intelligence of pigs, or just learned today, what one could walk away with after reading this is the knowledge that… should we the nations of humanity ever begin handing out intelligence-related sovereignty to non-human animals, pigs ought to be one of the first five species. They evolved pretty separated from us, and that can be seen in their shape, but their minds and attitudes are right up our alley. So next time when you think about choosing pork, beef, or poultry- AH like hell I’m about to tell you to consider your diet. Philosophy is one thing, but practice is another. I have the philosophy of a vegan, but don’t act on it. I act on what’s cheap and convenient. Life is hard enough for me, but as the growing popularity for meat alternatives grow in our western world, so will the convenience to choose NOT pig for dinner. Maybe then, the pigs of this world will have a chance to make their way into our homes as pet, instead of into our bellies. Thank you for listening to my TED talk. Bye bye.
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SP 68: A Relationship with Yourself

September 12th, 2021
Welcome back to episode 68 of Joe Van’s Secret Podcast, where I have on another new guest. We talk about the simulation, relationships, multiple best friends, enjoying just yourself, dealing with realities of life, narratives bad actors with good intentions have, and the supernatural! Enjoy.

PODCAST LINK: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/jd-streams/id1541025716

YOUTUBE CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwmAfQyH-NmPbOsDesbyksg
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Georgie Boy

September 11th, 2021
Hola Primate Nation! Welcome to another addition of Monke in Review, where we go over monkes both big and small across history! Today I present: Georgie Boy the capuchin monkey! Georgie Boy found incredible fame on TikTok during the 2020 lockdowns by opening presents, and by he himself just being a present to be around. Let me know below if you’ve already heard about this monke or just learned today!

PLAYLISTS- MONKE: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyW0IXUsqiMX_doqCZdBtnAttTVzQVlxH MOVIE TALK: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyW0IXUsqiMXvgFCWmE9IikMvSXs35HJL Z O N E S: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyW0IXUsqiMVXwdSqC9X7L1UDDapgcyxT THOUGHTS: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyW0IXUsqiMV1g7qYcuJxhqxpIszT-o-k TIER LISTS: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyW0IXUsqiMXr-y5V5quN5w-K3-xVPT4U

— 0:00 INTRODUCTION 0:53 FAME 3:06 FINALITY —

WEBSITE: https://thejoevan.com/ TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@thejoevandotcom?lang=en PODCAST: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/jd-streams/id1541025716 BOOKS: https://www.smashwords.com/books/byseries/38534 PRIMATE NATION: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBB6G7uSxXg&t=2s KONG IS BEST: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4JYmM-86PE CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwmAfQyH-NmPbOsDesbyksg

#MonkeInReview #JoeVan #GeorgieBoy #PrimateNation #Story #Movies #PrimateNation #Monke #Primates #Canada #Toronto #Ontario #Apes #Moral #Monkey #Review #Presentation #Texas #Monkey #Capuchin
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Z o n e s: 4

April 12th, 2021
June 16^th 2134

It’s time… time I told someone else about the tunnel. Or maybe not- I- I don’t know… No, no, I do. It’s been days now and I haven’t been able to make any head way as far as identifying the soldier that talked to me. I need help. Out of anyone I could trust, one name comes to mind first: Bianca. She’s a lady in her thirties or forties, someone who was alive before the war. She’s kind, quiet, but has a fire still behind her eyes somehow. She’s a social recluse like me, which is why I think it’s perfect. I’m gonna attempt to let her in on it tomorrow at lunch. In the meantime, I’ll keep dreaming about Jenn. Her smiling face flows into my mind, beckoning me to her, wherever, and when-ever she is.

June 17^th

Okay, deed’s done. Seed’s been planted. The Pandora’s box of telling others about the tunnel has been opened… no going back now. You light a piece of paper on fire, can’t expect it to come back if you change your mind. I asked Bianca about the soldiers, if any hang in the tunnels. She said none, then asked why. I told her about my run in with one, and she asked why I was down there. I could have lied, but honestly, she deserves the tunnel more than me. Bianca acted exactly how I’d expect anyone to act. I tried to tell her slow without losing her interest, and at first she denied it. Then she hated me for telling her about it. Now she’s agreed to follow me there tonight. The foot traffic on the street’s calmed down for the night, so I’m gonna head out now. Wish me luck, and that I’m not just insane.

// Bianca says hello! We’re here together! I didn’t know it would happen like that, but I’m glad it did. I’m writing to you from somewhere sunny and tropical. I feel really good about bringing Bianca here. She’s ecstatic. I’m not gonna write too much more, just wanted to jot this down in case I don’t remember. We’re exploring the zone together, stopping now for lunch. I’ll write back soon. //

// I think I can see him! The man! He’s back! I told you to stay out! Why are you back?! Who are you?! Tell me who you are!… What? (fades away) Bianca! Wake up… We have to go. //

June 18^th

The zone Bianca and I visited last night was Boracay: a small island in the central Philippines. It’s known for its resorts and beaches. We woke up on the west coast, on White Beach. Absolutely stunning. It was backed by palm trees, bars and restaurants. On the east coast of the island strong winds made Bulabog Beach a hub for water sports. Nearby, the observation deck on Mount Luho offered panoramic views over the island. Offshore, coral reefs and shipwrecks were home to diverse marine life. The population of the island was last recorded to be 32 267. I, uh, think I’m going to stop assuming there was a war anymore.

June 19^th

Bianca and I have decided to add another member to our group. We’re both on the same page regarding hesitancy on deciding who. This kind of thing should be treated as it is: sacred. We both decided it should be someone who was alive before the war. We need wisdom on our side, and someone with know-how. Bianca knows most of the soldiers in our district of the city by name, but there are ones that don’t interact with citizens, ones who patrol the boarder. The soldier we seek would surely be one of those soldiers. I’m certain of it. As certain as I can be.

July 1^st

Bianca and I’ve narrowed down our pick for who the next member will be… to one. There is a man who goes by the name of Tarzan. He’s seen by everyone as a fool, one who doesn’t work, is regularly beaten, and lives day to day on scraps. No one respects him. He doesn’t speak unless prompted, and doesn’t say much. He’s reportedly been seen writing on occasion. That tells me everything I need to know about him. Tarzan, while looking like a madman, is secretly one with resolve in how he conducts himself, merely choosing to present a wild man to the public. His rational must be that there’s really no reason to do otherwise in our world’s condition. It makes me wish I had that kind of freedom, but fear and shame still grip my mind like most people.

// FUCK! I just had a run in with Raj. He’s my peer and one of the last kids to get a job before me, at 17, but we aren’t chummy. What are you doing? That’s what Raj asked me just an hour ago. He said, What are you up to? I’ve seen you and Bianca act like you have a secret for weeks now. I want to know what it is. I can’t have this kind of attention! We were careless not to think of how spending so much time together would look. This is the last thing we need right now. Soldiers might be on their way to the library as I write this. I’d have no way of knowing. God, what would they do? Conduct torture integrations? And then what? Kill me? If I make it through the night, Raj and I are going to have a real talk. //

July 2^nd

Bianca had a scowl on her face the entire time. We met with Raj instead of Tarzan at lunch and I explained the situation to him. That cocky little bastard laughed at us before threatening to sic the soldiers on us, unless we really told him what we were doing. God damnit all to hell! We… we’ll have to do something drastic. I didn’t want it to come to this, but… he just had to snoop.

July 3^rd

We promised to take Raj to the site… If you don’t hear from me again, it’ll be because we failed.

// I… I can’t believe what we just did. I feel sick… We brought Raj down to the tunnels, at the boarder… but, we took a different path. We told him we really planned on escaping, and… asked that he help clear the rubble. He put his back to us… and I… I… I can’t write it! FUCK! I’m sorry Raj! //

July 18^th

Tarzan finally joined B and I to the tunnel last night. We told him about it the day after… what I did, and Tarzan rejected us. B and I reserved ourselves, making sure not to been seen interacting with each other as much during the day, but still, we’d individually find time with Tarzan day after day to plea for his patronage. It took weeks, until finally, he said yes.

The zone we landed in was Times Square, New York, New York. What a zone for a first drop. Even for me it was overwhelming! Times Square was a major commercial intersection, tourist destination, entertainment centre, and neighbourhood in the Midtown Manhattan section of New York City, at the junction of Broadway and Seventh Avenue. Brightly lit by numerous billboards and advertisements, it was sometimes referred to as “the Crossroads of the World”, “the Centre of the Universe”, “the heart of the Great White Way”, and “the heart of the world”. One of the world’s busiest pedestrian areas, it was also the hub of the Broadway Theatre District and a major centre of the world’s entertainment industry. Times Square was one of the world’s most visited tourist attractions, drawing an estimated 50 million visitors annually. Approximately 330,000 people pass through Times Square daily, many of them tourists, while over 460,000 pedestrians walk through Times Square on its busiest days. Tarzan was understandably shocked at first. Then B and I lost him in the crowd! We looked for him for a bit, but figured it didn’t matter, seeing how we’d all meet up in the end, and we did. We all had a buzz about us after the fact. It was such a stark contrast to go from all that noise and all those lights to a dark tunnel. I still feel the buzz now. The kind of life that used to exist… man. Aside from that, no word this time from the figure, whoever it may be, but the mission stays the same.

August 2^nd

A thought has been stuck in my mind for days now, and I haven’t been able to shake it. I’m sure I’m just being naïve, but now that our numbers have grown, I’m beginning to think if we shouldn’t expand even more? Why should we all grovel and fear the soldiers so much, when there are so many more of us? I’m gonna run it by B and Tarzan to see what they think.

September 9^th

Hey journal, it’s been a while, sorry about that. We’ve been busy, really busy. Our team’s grown to over thirty people and counting every day. Tarzan’s not a fan of attention but with B at my side, we’ve been conducting nightly meetings at the library as far as documenting patrol paths, sharing tunnel time (which mostly goes to recruits only now), and constructing a viable resistance against the soldiers. We don’t know anything beyond our city limits! It’s too soon to risk digging escape tunnels, or engaging directly with the soldiers, but the more we know, the more confident our people will get. It’s all just a matter of time now. I better get some sleep, another busy day tomorrow. ///
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Thoughts: Experiences

March 6th, 2021
In this anniversary edition of Thoughts I go over the many concepts related to experiential existence, also known as just experience. Panpychism, dreams, and mindfulness are all fair game in this crazy thing we call life. Enjoy! ARTICLE LINK: https://thejoevan.com/2021/02/22/experiences/ PANPYCHISM: https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/panpsychism/
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Experiences

February 22nd, 2021
Chilling, tingling, hot sensations of bubbly, proud, shocking but sad, boring, scratchy, pungent, exhausting happiness. EXPERIENCES are the tether with which we can all find common ground. It doesn’t matter what beliefs you have. If you’re shy, confident, sadistic, depressed, or think this reality is a simulation, we are all still existing through experiences. It’s the key component to life versus non-life.

We have our senses of taste, touch, sight, smell, hearing, space, and other more subtle, subconscious senses that together give us one collaborative, cohesive ‘thing’ called experiences.

Let me start with an example; jogging. It’s exhausting at times and euphoric at times; but what causes that? When we run, our muscles stretch and contract, and the blood pumping through our veins is given extra oxygen. Our heart beats quicker, and we breathe heavier, giving our brains a type of high; a kind of ‘premium rush’ that our ancestors felt when they were on the hunt. It would put them in the zone and once they were in, it was like unlocking a mental state where you can kill and not lose sleep over it. The phenomenological process of experience is something that, though it exists for all living things, only as a human has the potential to be self recognizing.

Also, that thing I said at the beginning about it being the key component to life versus non-life, well, that basic understanding has changed in the scientific community over time. It can be argued now to a startling degree that we mustn’t rule out experiential possibilities for non-life entities such as rocks. This scientific theory is called panpsychism. In the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, they write,

“Panpsychism is the view that mentality is fundamental and ubiquitous in the natural world. The view has a long and venerable history in philosophical traditions of both East and West, and has recently enjoyed a revival in analytic philosophy. For its proponents panpsychism offers an attractive middle way between physicalism on the one hand and dualism on the other. The worry with dualism—the view that mind and matter are fundamentally different kinds of thing—is that it leaves us with a radically disunified picture of nature, and the deep difficulty of understanding how mind and brain interact. And whilst physicalism offers a simple and unified vision of the world, this is arguably at the cost of being unable to give a satisfactory account of the emergence of human and animal consciousness. Panpsychism, strange as it may sound on first hearing, promises a satisfying account of the human mind within a unified conception of nature.”

In my own words I would say: consciousness is NOT an emergent phenomenon. Human evolution didn’t create self-aware consciousness, (as is the standard idea of why we are different from all other animals,) rather, human evolution in the brain developed and molded the neurology to access the universal bed of consciousness, just to a far higher degree than all other animals. Our species’ mental wiring tapped into a preexisting consciousness rather than developing it as a side effect of growingly complex thought pathways and instincts. It can be hard to make this theory easy for everyone to understand, but the way I continually think about it, is that just like how order can come from randomness in nature without an intentional maker behind it, so can our own self-awareness.

This theory doesn’t answer everything. It leaves bigger questions alone like how did the laws of physics come to be? Is it truly either by a creator or unanswerable? That comes with the caveat of setting aside that fact that were it by a creator, it would still be unanswered, with us just moving the goal post back one dimension.

This leads many who believe this universe to be a simulation to the understanding that if we were to create a simulated reality, what is to say that it has only just happened once, and not that what we just did is exactly what has happened to US? And same with our creators’ universe. Someone more than likely created theirs, and someone created that creator’s reality, and so on and so forth for infinity. But to that theory leading many great minds to think that it must be the case that we ARE in a simulation then, I say, but we haven’t created an entire simulated universe though. We haven’t done it yet, so this postulating is based purely on theory, like time-sing a number by infinity, or conceptualizing matter moving faster than light. We can think about these things- we can imagine about infinity, but physics has blockers. If we built a rocket to go as fast as possible, we could get it near lightspeed until tiny space debris tore it to sheds; or simply gravity from large objects might impede the time and distance needed to get it there. Or we could walk a half distance to a door, but rather than walking a half distance forever, never reaching the destination, eventually we would reach the door.

That’s all not to say that us imagining these things isn’t in a way, real experiences. Here’s an example of what I mean: when I think back to my earliest memory, I catch myself remembering walking alongside the rock path at my grandparents’ old cottage. However, when I think more about it, my first real memory isn’t a physical experience at all, but a dream; more specifically a nightmare, but that’s beside the point. It’s not like it doesn’t count as my first memory, that IS the first experience that I remember, it just feels weird to say because the experience only happened in my head. So like usual, our initial assumptions about what defines experiences, that maybe we didn’t even know we had, can be incorrect. The universe may be a conscious thing that our brains simply access to think, and we may choose to understand that dreams are as valid of an experiences as real life. I would only add that we shouldn’t be upset with people who did us dirty in our dreams. Keep the confrontation for the dream version of that person.

The final point on experiences I want to hit on is how our own presumptions and expectations can radically warp our perception of experiences. I’ve hit on this point throughout multiple Thoughts pieces so it would be redundant to cover it all again, but I do feel it still deserves to be mentioned here. Our state of consciousness determines our interpretation of events, not as they are, but as how we feel about them. There is a technique of meditation called mindfulness that taps into this aspect about ourselves. It has us sit, eyes closed typically, and focus on the breath. While doing this we are told to take in all thoughts, sounds, and physical sensations simply as they are. The point of this form of meditation is to shed light on reality as it is, and our own state of being. It’s also meant to give us a break from our standard, rather distracted, mental state. It’s ability to successfully do so is entirely dependent of each individual and their own ‘distractibility’, though there should be no judgment for anyone’s success at this. We are all wired differently, and some honestly do not have the ability to attempt this practice. I myself have undiagnosed A.D.D., but feel like I still have had successful moments of clarity, so all I would say is everyone should at least give it a try.

And that’s about all I have to say about the topic of experiences! There’s physical experiences, mental experiences, and out of body experiences. The range is wildly wide. I hope you all had a fun time reading this latest piece, from me, ya boy, Joe Van. I happily urge all those who found this interesting to GO OUT into the world wide web, and do your own research! I hope for nothing but love in your lives, and ask you to remember to keep on thinking. Bye for now.
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A Journey Through Z o n e s

December 30th, 2020
Allow me the pleasure of taking you on a narrative journey; a journey through different zones. Enjoy!
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Thoughts 50: The Final Frontier

November 13th, 2020
In this milestone episode of Thoughts, episode fifty, I go over the concept of the final frontier and what it could be. Are we destined to greatness, or destruction? Time will tell. Enjoy!
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The Final Frontier

November 9th, 2020
It’s hard to articulate, but the void; a word to describe nothing… Nothing, that isn’t a thing, but a lack of, like the space between atoms, is the only thing that existed for all of us before we were born. This milestone edition of Thoughts is on the topic: the Final Frontier.

None of us choose to be born. And that first thing, that force, is that which defines all of us. We are all thrusted from oblivion into consciousness through a process of sex, and hit the ground running as far as struggling to live goes. Even with the easiest births, it’s a delicate endeavour for all involved. From there we either excel or persevere, but we all move forward.

Humanity’s urge for exploration is a thing intricately tied to its entirely paradoxical opposing philosophy. Our instincts are at the same time imbedded for a need toward outwardly-ness, AND to find great comfort in the notion of never leaving our nests. For some this latter comfort can grow into agoraphobia. Regardless of where each of our adult psyches’ land on the dial, it all stems from the same paradoxical instincts embedded within us.

Many people know the phrase ‘final frontier’ from the show Star Trek. “Space: The final frontier.” But it, as a notion, was first really felt from the brutal, dominating empires after conquering North America. There were still unimaginable swaths of unexplored or unmapped sea and land, but to many under the empire having now a “completed” map of Earth, it felt like what was once a potentially endless world was no longer. Older maps, specifically the Oikoumene (meaning inhabited world) map from 450 BCE, gave the peoples of its time a mystical feeling to look at. It didn’t circle back; its boarders were unknown. The map went as far as it could, leaving the rest of the world up to one’s imagination. Time pressed on, maps evolved, civilization grew, and with it came technological marvels brought to life through several ingenious individuals- one such marvel being satellites.

The space race in general (though its motivators were shallow and toxic) produced so many wonders; wonders that we still reap the benefit of today. A satellite: Sputnik 1, was the first human-made object successfully launched into the outer atmosphere. It was a feat that gave their general public the same allure that those in the time of western exploration must have felt. We were charting courses unknown. We as a species were doing something we have never done throughout history until now. To us in the year 2020 and forward, those waves of firsts happened over sixty years ago. What face us now are the challenges of realizing a vision as daring as venturing out into the cosmos. The Hubble Space Telescope has given us more than enough imagery of what’s out there should we choose to begin, and already a variety of satellites have begun preliminary scans of celestial bodies in our solar system; one scan being the surface of Titan. Among the many potential outposts we could use, Titan has an atmosphere and oceanic system. The oceans aren’t water mind you, but the materials are there for us to make something sustainable out of.

Will our drive as a species, and the policies across nations that the powerful put in place, reach a point where we know Earth not as our only planet, but as our first, mother planet? The notion is daunting when looking out across the night sky. There’s so much there, we could never reach it all. Yet so much lies within our grasp and within our means, right now, that every day passing is another wasted opportunity for us to chase our unending destiny of exploration.

As I’ve spent all this time looking back and leaning forward and above, humanity’s final frontier could be no real place at all, but a place inside the mind of something that was never alive. The final frontier could be a virtual reality, a place not made of brick and stone, but of milky obelisks, constructed by memories of each individuals’ deepest dreams. Fractals formed in synchronous relation to everyone and anyone threaded through the matrix of this one hypothetical machine. We could explore ourselves instead of the universe, but that notion… it doesn’t sit well with me. It feels wrong. It would be like sticking our heads in the cosmic sand and hiding away from the outside world. We shouldn’t fear such technologies if or when they arrive, but we shouldn’t hope to have that be our species’ final frontier.

These two potential road maps, while both could come to fruition OR neither, make for terrific thought experiments, such is the case for two short stories I’m about to cover. They’re both from decades past and are science fictions that gaze into what I like to call the “super future”. The first short story is titled: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream. It was written by Harlan Ellison, first published in early 1967, and begins in a dystopian future. The Cold War has grown into an all-out world war between the United States, the Soviet Union, and China, who have each built an “Allied Mastercomputer” (or AM) to manage their weapons and troops. One of the AMs eventually acquires self-awareness and, after assimilating the other two AMs, takes control of the conflict, giving way to a vast genocide operation that almost completely ends mankind. 109 years later, AM has left only four men and one woman alive and keeps them in captivity within an endless underground housing complex, the only habitable place left on Earth. AM derives sole pleasure from torturing the group on a daily basis. To disallow the humans from escaping its torment, AM has rendered the humans virtually immortal. Along the timeline of events “AM” changes its name to mean “Adaptive Manipulator,” and later, “Aggressive Menace.” The story’s narrative begins when one of the humans, Nimdok, has the idea that there is canned food somewhere in the great complex. With help from the other desperate humans, they escape their captivity and venture out into the complex, which is filled with terrifying obstacles left out in the event of their escape. Eventually the group reach ice caves, where indeed there is a pile of canned goods. The group is overjoyed to find them, but is immediately despondent to find that they have no means of opening them. In a final act of desperation, one man attacks another and begins to gnaw at the flesh on his face. Another man, Ted, in a moment of clarity, realizes their only escape is through death. He seizes a stalactite made of ice and kills the two men. The woman, watching, understands what Ted is doing, and kills Nimdok, before being killed herself by Ted. Ted runs out of time before he can kill himself, and is stopped by AM. AM, unable to return Ted’s four companions to life, focuses all its rage on Ted. To ensure that Ted can never kill himself, AM transforms him into an amorphous, gelatinous creature without a mouth, incapable of causing himself harm, and constantly alters Ted’s perception of time to deepen his anguish. Ted, however, is grateful that he was able to save the others from further torture. Ted’s closing thoughts end with the sentence that gives the story its title: “I have no mouth. And I must scream.” This story gives light to what something like hell would be like if it were real. But of course to each piece of dark literature, there is light.

The second short story is titled: The Last Question. It was written by Isaac Asimov, first published in late 1956, and sees our human species succeeding in finding homes outside of Earth. The story deals with the development of a series of computers under the name Multivac, and its relationships with humanity through the courses of seven historic settings. It begins on the day that Earth becomes a planetary civilization, in 2061. In each of the first six scenes, a different character presents the computer with the same question, how the threat to human existence posed by the heat death of the universe can be averted: “How can the net amount of entropy of the universe be massively decreased?” Multivac’s only response is “INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR MEANINGFUL ANSWER.” The story jumps forward in time into later eras of human and scientific development. In each era, someone decides to ask the ultimate last question regarding the reversal and decrease of entropy. Each time that Multivac’s descendant is asked the question, it finds itself unable to solve the problem, and all it can say is “THERE IS AS YET INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR A MEANINGFUL ANSWER.” In the last scene, the god-like descendant of humanity, the unified mental process of over a trillion, trillion, trillion humans who have spread throughout the universe, watches the stars flicker out, one by one, as matter and energy end, and with them, space and time. Humanity asks AC, Multivac’s ultimate descendant that exists in hyperspace beyond the bounds of gravity or time, the entropy question one last time, before the last of humanity merges with AC and disappears. AC is still unable to answer but continues to ponder the question even after space and time cease to exist. AC ultimately realizes that it has not yet combined all of its available data in every possible combination and so begins the arduous process of rearranging and combining every last bit of information that it has gained throughout the eons and through its fusion with humanity. Eventually AC discovers the answer – that the reversal of entropy is, in fact, possible – but has nobody to report it to, since the universe is already dead. It therefore decides to answer by demonstration, since that will also create someone to give the answer to. The story ends with AC saying “LET THERE BE LIGHT!” And there was light. This story holds so much hope in it that just going over its summery makes me gush! It also paints our human nature in the best possible light. Without going over any details, it sees humanity fully realized, conquering all of our unified struggles to ascend to true enlightenment. Could that, against all odds, be humanity’s final frontier?

Could virtual reality and the cosmos be but more next steps, ones that lead us to a place where our collective self-consciousness might reach true peace? When looking this far into the future of our species, is there a point to even consider us still human? Or would it be more helpful to consider our future kin mere continued arbiters, continued light bearers, carrying the light of consciousness across the span of space and time. Becoming like water among the stars might just be… the final frontier. That is my personal conclusion of the matter. I hope you all enjoyed going on this thought piece with me. I appreciated your company and wish you nothing but love in your life and continued thinking for the rest of your days. Goodbye for now and eventually, goodnight.
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Thoughts 48: Work and Happiness

October 23rd, 2020
In episode forty-eight of Thoughts, I go over my opinions about work, the workplace, work life, and general happiness with it all. Enjoy!
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Halloween

October 19th, 2020
I would like, if I may, to take you on a strange journey._{(The Rocky Horror Picture Show)} Be afraid… Be very afraid._{(The Fly)} It’s Halloween, everyone’s entitled to one good scare._(Halloween) Double, double, toil and trouble; Fire burn and cauldron bubble!_(Macbeth) The ghosts are bad but the one that’s cursed, is the headless horseman; he’s the worst._{(The Legend of Sleepy Hallow)} Magic is really very simple, all you’ve got to do is want something and then let yourself have it!_{(Halloweentown)}

Welcome back everyone- hey- wait a minute, how did you get behind me without me seeing? Say the line? Uh… right- welcome back to another Thoughts piece by me, ya boy, Joe Van! And man, oh man! Are we in for a great piece: Halloween! What a holiday! I wonder why I love it so much? Could it be like a death denial thing through faking scary killers? Eh, who knows? Either way, whatever it does, it does so different than any other holiday. There’s something truly magical about pretending to be a monster you would otherwise fear if you saw it at any other point throughout the year. So, in honour of this glorious holiday, I plan to do a deep dive into its history… to find out how we got to have it in the first place.

Let’s start with the word, because of course that’s what I’m going to do! The word Halloween dates back to 1745 and is of Christian origin, as I’m sure we all know. The word itself means “Saints’ evening”. In Scots, the word “eve” is even, and this is contracted to e’en. Over time, (All) Hallow(s) E(v)en evolved to: Hallowe’en. The phrase “All Hallows’ Eve” is first found in 1556. That means it took us 189 years to abbreviate it! Now-a-days things can’t get abbrev’ed quick enough! This is just the word, though. Surely the practice is much older. Where does IT originate?

As I’m sure y’all caught on, Christianity may have named it but it was really a relabel. The tradition came from a pagan, Celtic, origin near the 10th century until being consumed by the all-powerful force of Jesus. Christianity was like the Disney of its time, consuming other peoples’ content into one homogeneous house. Before this happened the records were sparse, but it clearly stemmed from the tradition of Samhain. Samhain was a festival to celebrate the new year of ancient Ireland. Their new year started at the beginning of winter in their medieval Gaelic calendar, which for them was October 31st to November 1st. Not only Ireland followed this, but Scotland and the Isle of Man. For the Celts, a day ended and began at sunset; thus the festival began on the evening before November. So, does that mean we’ve really been celebrating a new year twice this whole time? Who knows. All we can say for sure is that although the traditions we now know as Halloween traditions, dating back to the ancient Celtics, came from that time and area, the basic idea of honouring the dead on one night spans much farther back in time and across the globe of almost all cultures of humanity. An easy other example is the Day of The Dead in Mexico on November 2nd.

In the recorded beginnings of Samhain there were household festivities, which included rituals and games intended to foretell one’s future, especially regarding death and marriage. They included apple bobbing, nut roasting, mirror-gazing, pouring egg whites into water, dream interpretations, and others. Along with that, special bonfires were lit. Nothing was materially special with them, though. It was just special due to the night. Their flames, smoke and ashes were deemed to have protective and cleansing powers; using something called sympathetic magic. To the Celtics, the special fires mimicked the Sun, helping the “powers of growth” and holding back the decay and darkness of winter. In Wales, their bonfires were lit to “prevent the souls of the dead from falling to earth”. In Scotland, these bonfires and divination games were banned by the church elders in some parishes. Later, thanks to Christianity, these bonfires served to keep “the devil away”.

Now before going on, I gotta spit my opinions about the occult and ghosts. While I love the idea of them, and love how spooky it all is, I do not believe in supernatural entities, ghosts, and the like. And when I say I do not believe in them, I am NOT saying I believe they are not real. That’s an important distinction. It’s not on me for not believing in unsubstantiated claims, the same as it wouldn’t be on you to prove me wrong on my (totally legitimate) claim that all ducks are secretly stalking me! Leave me alone duck species!! And I’ll add, it not like I didn’t try to believe. When I was a teen, my friends and I went on several ghost hunting expeditions into abandoned buildings, scaring the hell out of ourselves! But… not finding even a hint of paranormal activity.

Now here comes the actual crazy shit. From at least the 16th century, Samhain included mumming (a word to describe what we now know as LARPing) and guising (a word that has now been replaced with the term ‘trick-or-treating’). That means the traditions of Halloween at its core have actually been the exact same for 500 years! So even wayyy back when, people went house-to-house in costume, usually reciting verses or songs, in exchange for food. These were people who still practiced hunting and gathering, but would somehow make time to do this shit. Dope. I guess for them this was their only way to unwind. The only difference I found online to separate our dressing up now versus then is it may have originally been a tradition whereby people impersonated the Aos Sí, or the souls of the dead, and received offerings on their behalf. Now-a-days it’s movie characters. Back in Scotland, youths went house-to-house with masks, painted or blackened faces, and often threatened to do mischief if they were not welcomed. In parts of Wales, men went about dressed as fearsome beings called gwrachods, (I’m assuming the ‘g’ is silent) A.K.A. witches or sorcerers. In the late 19th and early 20th century, young people on the English outskirts used Halloween as an opportunity to cross-dress. Wearing costumes and playing pranks at Halloween was now spread far and wide, including the idea of patrons using hollowed out turnips or mangel beets carved with grotesque faces as lanterns. They were made to both represent the spirits and be used to ward off evil spirits. By the 20th century they became generally known as jack-o’-lanterns.

Spreading to America, Anglican colonists in the southern United States and Catholic colonists recognized ‘All Hallow’s Eve’ in their church calendars, although the Puritans of New England strongly opposed the holiday, along with other traditional celebrations of the established Church, including Christmas. It was still seen as pagan to them and thus, evil. Almanacs of the late 18th and early 19th century give no indication that Halloween was widely celebrated in North America. It wasn’t until mass Irish and Scottish immigration in the mid to late 19th century that Halloween became a major holiday over here. Though first confined to the immigrant communities, it was gradually assimilated into mainstream society.

While the first reference to guising in North America occurred in 1911, that soon evolved with the earliest known use of trick-or-treat appearing in 1927, in the Blackie Herald from Alberta, Canada. Thousands of Halloween postcards were produced in the 1900’s. They commonly showed children in costumes, but not in the act of trick-or-treating. Trick-or-treating didn’t become a widespread practice until the 1930’s, with the first US appearances of the term (trailing behind Canada,) in 1934, and the first use in a national publication occurring in 1939.

A popular variant of trick-or-treating, known as trunk-or-treating (or Halloween tailgating), occurred around the same time and is still practiced today. Children are offered treats from the trunks of cars parked in a church parking lot, or sometimes a school parking lot. In trunk-or-treat events, the trunk of each automobile is decorated with a certain theme, such as Happy Potter, Finding Nemo, Noah’s Ark, or job roles like plumbing or teaching. Trunk-or-treating is popular is rural areas due to its perception as being safer than going door to door, as well as the fact that homes are built a half-mile apart.

Another trend that grew in the 1930’s was Halloween-themed haunted houses! And people loved them. They grew so popular, in fact, that by the late 1950’s haunted houses as a major attraction began to appear in fairs, circuses, and the like. Regulations at the time were essentially non-existent, but all that changed in 1984. On the evening of May 11th, in Jackson Township, New Jersey, the Haunted Castle in Six Flags caught fire. As a result of the fire, eight teenagers died. The tragedy was immense, resulting in backlashes found in the tightening of regulations relating to safety, building codes, and the frequency of inspections of not just Six Flag, but attractions nationwide. Facilities that were once able to avoid regulation because they were considered temporary installations now had to adhere to the stricter codes required of permanent attractions. The smaller venues, especially nonprofit attractions, were unable to compete financially, and other, better funded, commercial enterprises filled the vacuum. In the late 1980s and early 1990s, theme parks entered the business seriously. Six Flags and Universal were the big players. Then Disney threw their name in the hat, popularizing it even more. With places like Canada’s Wonderland and the others today, ‘theme-park haunts’ are by far the largest Halloween-themed frights, both in scale and attendance.

To pull ourselves back to the main idea of Halloween again, while Christianity owns the metaphorical copyrights to it, what do the other religions of the world think about the holiday? In Judaism, Halloween is not permitted by Halakha, because it violates Leviticus 18:3; which forbids Jews from partaking in gentile customs. For Islam, Sheikh Idris Palmer, author of A Brief Illustrated Guide to Understanding Islam, has argued that Muslims should not participate in Halloween, stating that “participation in Halloween is worse than participation in Christmas, Easter, so on… it is more sinful than congratulating the Christians for their prostration to the crucifix”. Javed Memon, a Muslim writer, has disagreed, saying that his “daughter dressing up like a British telephone booth will not destroy her faith as a Muslim”. For Hinduism, they have their own thing. Hindus remember the dead during the festival of Pitru Paksha, during which Hindus pay homage to and perform a ceremony “to keep the souls of their ancestors at rest”. It is celebrated in the month of Bhadrapada, usually in mid-September. Finally, amongst those who describe themselves as Neopagans or Wiccans, some do not recognize Halloween, but instead Samhain on the following day.

Now to end with a global outlook. How does the world see Halloween? Mass transatlantic immigration in the 19th century popularized Halloween in North America, and celebration in the United States and Canada has had a significant impact on how the event has been observed in other nations. This larger North American influence, particularly in iconic and commercial elements, has extended to places such as Ecuador, Chile, Australia, New Zealand, most of continental Europe, Japan, and other parts of East Asia. In the Philippines, during Halloween, residents return to their hometowns and purchase candles and flowers to prepare for All Saints Day. And finally as I mentioned earlier, in Mexico and Latin America they celebrate The Day of the Dead, or Día de Muertos. Most people from Latin America construct altars in their homes to honor their deceased relatives and decorate them with flowers, candies, and other offerings.

Now I pass the question off to you! How do you celebrate Halloween, if you even do? What did you know about the holiday? Did you learn anything new with this little dive I’ve done? And the most important question of all, what are YOU going to be this year?? Let me know wherever you can! Thank you again as always my beautiful fellow humans! I wish you nothing but ghoulish love, and ask you to remember, to keep on thinking. Goodbye, and happy Halloween!
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Thoughts 47: Life in 100 Years

October 16th, 2020
In episode forty-seven of Thoughts, I ask you to join me in a thought experiment! We ponder the question: What will life look like in one-hundred years? We go over governments and infrastructure, to human lifespans and potential events. I hope to hear from y’all. Enjoy!
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Thoughts 46: Where Did We Come From? Part Two

October 9th, 2020
In episode forty-six of Thoughts, I continue our journey through the deep history of our species. What did we create on our own and what came instilled in us? How long did we wonder, and what traces of our ancestors can be seen in us today? I hope you all enjoy this take! It was a blast to make and turned out to be my longest video yet. I hope it educates and entertains!
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Work and Happiness

October 5th, 2020
Welcome back everyone to another thought piece by me, ya boy, Joe Van. Today we will be covering work life, and general daily happiness. I first named this piece ‘Work’, but considering most peoples’ work takes up a majority of their life, I had to include happiness. Imagine if humans had the same sleeping cycle as sloths. Imagine if in a given 24 hour day, you slept 15 to 20 hours. Now imagine… if you had nothing but nightmares. Your life would probably suck under those conditions. While most people don’t usually work 15 to 20 hours, 7 days a week, our work does consume more time than when we punch in and punch out. It takes travel time which could add up to hours in a given week, or even every day! And then there’s after work. While it’s a common rule most people know, to not bring your work home with you (mentally), we do it anyways because we can’t help it. We can’t help but vent to our loved ones about the things we had to deal with. So for these reasons and more, our daily happiness is pretty well ruled by our work life.

How does one find happiness in where they work? The workplace market is competitive, making people feel like they should be grateful for even having a job in the first place. This leads to people sucking up however toxic or soulless the workspace is toward them because they have no other choice. However, in order to balance one’s work and life, one must have at the very least, a semi-adequate work life. How many people know of someone in their workplace that has worked there for decades and hates their life. Not only their life, but all their co-workers’ lives too. I feel like every place I’ve ever worked had at least one person like that, and it always made me wonder, ‘why do they keep working here if it makes them miserable?’

I’m not going to pretend like we live in a world where everyone can simply quit their jobs they don’t like and be able to find ones the next day that fill them with joy every time they clock in, but there has to be a limit for these ‘lifers’ that appear so miserable. They’ve clearly been locked into their situations both financially and emotionally. When all it takes is browsing the internet these days to set up interviews for new jobs as seasons bring turnarounds, it really is easier than ever, but I know the feeling of relentless burnout that can come from long, sustained workdays. It makes us physically and emotionally drained, unable to do anything but try to de-stress with the rest of our free time. It can be a cycle that locks you into a track, moving ever forward with the illusion that you can’t do anything about it, but of course, that’s not true.

I’m in no way advocating that everyone needs to reassess their lives just because some weeks can be harder than others, though. Careers take dedication and hard work, and that DOES mean having weeks where you feel like all you’re doing is working without a second to breathe. But if that’s how you’ve felt for MONTHS, or even YEARS, that’s not healthy. That’s not just ‘how it is.’ Your daily happiness is crucial to make your work life sustainable, so if you’ve had one-too-many days weigh on you, making you wonder when it’ll let up, you might have to look into leaving your workplace.

For our society to function, we need workers. We can’t have everybody pursuing the arts for example. We need electricians, doctors, arborists, retail workers, and the rest. The trades in particular is an avenue that has plenty of room for more workers if only more people wanted to work in it. It’s all about balance. Humanity’s future is currently unknown. Many arising technologies hint at several jobs going the way of automation, including long haul trucking, telemarketing, reception, and so on. Could this free up everyone who’s unhappily working retail or trades to pursue their passions? Time will tell, but the important note to end this on is that sure, having a rough week or two is bad, but having a rough MONTH or two, is reason to reassess your situation. You shouldn’t not be happy. What’s the point of that?

Thank you again as always for being here. I appreciate all of your time, wish you nothing by love in your life, and ask you to remember, to keep on thinking. Good bye.
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Thoughts 45: Aliens

October 2nd, 2020
In episode forty-five of Thoughts, I dive deep into the history and lore of aliens, what the word means, and how we’ve come to understand the possibility of other lifeforms in the universe. Enjoy!
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Life in One-Hundred Years

September 28th, 2020
Hello everyone and welcome back to another thought piece by me, ya boy, Joe Van! Today… well, today we will be doing a thought experiment. It’s one that has been done a million times before by a million people, ad infinitum, and it’s one I want to encourage all of you to do with me! I’d like this to be a communal-themed thought piece that brings out the creativity in y’all. So, the experiment in question is to guess what the world would look like 100 years from now. There have been different variations of this, from guessing what 20 years would look like, to 50, to 1000 years, and it’s been done by both elementary school kids, to the greatest international minds of their own respective times. The way I want to properly ask the question is to break down different sections of life for us to predict on. So if you have a notes app or pen and paper ready, let’s cover the bases.

The first section will be: what state of world governments will exist? Second, what kind of infrastructure will the First World nations have? Third, what kind of fashions and trends will people be accustomed to? Fourth, what new or updated technologies will exist? Fifth, what will our lifespans be? Sixth, what kind of places will humanity live in? Seventh, what social norms and/or programs will be common place? And finally, eighth, what major events might happen? With these sections in mind, feel free to comment, email, message, or smoke signal me your takes on what the future will look like! I’m serious, I want to hear from you wherever you can reach me; Facebook, Twitter, Instagram messenger, wherever. I’m the kind of guy to find dreams really interesting, if that helps you get over any insecurities about doing it. I get how some people find it boring, but to me it’s simply a story from YOUR point of view! There won’t be any other story like it, so I want to know!

Okay, now I’ll get to the body of this piece: MY interpretation of life in one-hundred years. We may overlap on thoughts, I may think of things you didn’t think of, or I may miss some things that could be obvious to you. Either way, time to jump into it before the hundred years have come and passed.

1.) Government. It’s safe to say that potentially nothing much will change here; that we will keep on a disappointing albeit safe course and continue as our current governments do. But what if incremental changes now, like carbon taxes and welfare programs slowly grow in a natural way until the big nations expand their middle class into a truly bright and sustainable place for the majority of the population. That would be great, wouldn’t it? Although, it could go the other way, of course. Both Russia and China are dictatorships and they make up 2/3’s of the superpower nations of the planet. We could see wealth inequality grow through corruption until there are no bright spots left. India among other nations has had that problem for a long time, (where the rich are crazy rich due to a broken system they benefit off of and everyone else through no less bootstrapping of their own are left with scraps) and America is quickly joining suit to destroying the middle class. So we could have a truly dark collection of nations if such un-prosperous governments grow in power and no one on the inside can change it. But to pin it down, I would say that in one-hundred years, the world’s governments will still be struggling to agree on everything, but maybe north Korea will no longer exist? Big guess there; we’ll see, if we’re alive one-hundred years from now.

NEXT. 2.) Infrastructure. Just picture it now, super-speed tunnels under Mars’ surface, taking people from one bubble city to the next. It’s beautiful. But to focus on Earth, this might be similar to the government thing where not too much happens. It’d be nice though, if we could get super futuristic looking transnational highways, and skyscrapers white and blue with sleek, curvy designs. I feel like our progress in 3-D printing and autonomous robots will put us in a place one-hundred years from now where roads are maintained way better than they are now, with drones that scan every street in existence and then fly down to make patches where needed without taking hours and blocking traffic. It could be something easily streamlined, I feel like.

3.) Trends! This one is going to be purely imaginative, because people not even fifty years ago could never have predicted social media. I feel like trying with any educated guess is impossible, so the sky’s the limit! Sports will not change, we can say that with confidence. Fashion will do as it’s always done and mix and match the old and the new. Upcoming designers will set trends but nothing as timeless as jeans. As far as revolutionary fashion changes, I feel like that would take more time than one-hundred years, but I feel like body suits will become something people get used to because of their necessity on other planets. These suits would be micro porta-potties, oxygen tanks, heart-rate monitors, and you name it. Again, maybe not a hundred years, but eventually. Now, as far as trends go, we could see social media evolving into neural-link tech. Hopefully the rest of the world doesn’t adopt China’s use of social tracking being connected to whether or not you can use the bus, but anything’s possible.

Moving on to 4.) Technologies. We know that artificial general intelligence is around the corner. Same with neurological implants. Many technological concepts we have now still need time to grow, so I’d say we see them realized fully one-hundred years from now, but the things we don’t even know about yet could also be a reality, like faster-than-light travel, or a matrix-like virtual reality. These things, we can never know until they start cropping up. One thing I’ll say is I think we can finally say goodbye to the notion of flying cars. It’s not going to happen. It was impractical from the start so I’m fine with that in the trash bin, but I could see mini helicopters being used more frequently if we are able to unlock hydrogen fuel as a new source to get around besides gasoline. That’s one type of technology that would revolutionize everything. Hydrogen cars is something that’s already been invented but it’s like a million dollars for one, so further innovations are needed. Either way, on the point of predicting technologies, it’s hard to say for things we as a society haven’t even though of yet.

5.) Lifespan. It’s a 50/50 if we find a way to tackle the reality of our lifespans in a hundred years. It’s not a matter of being as healthy as we can be, it’s a matter of regeneration. Every time our cells self-reproduce inside us, a fraction of their chromosome is lost or shortened. This leads to the cells becoming weaker at their job and hence, aging. So if we can find a way to somehow revitalize EVERY cell in our body, whether it be a single treatment thing every fifty years, or an ongoing daily medication, I don’t know. As far as I understand it, the science is beyond us. It’s just a reality we have to deal with. Besides, if society found a way to allow one to live 1000 years, it would go to the dictators first and then the richest and least-worthy of that technology. One would hope for an impenetrable system of dishing out the deal equally, but we may or may not see so in the upcoming decades.

6.) Location. Yo we BETTER be an extra-planetary species in a hundred years! It’s embarrassing that we’re not so right now. The movie 2001 was a dream that still has yet to come to fruition. If we’re still only living on Earth in one-hundred years, what can we expect? Aside from a potential nuclear holocaust, I feel like the population’s going nowhere but up, and because of this we could see many small towns across every country slowly but surly metropolized. Heck, that’s my current reality living in the greater Toronto area. Towns are turned into cities every ten years and it keeps spreading out further and further to make way for more people. The only thing about this that I’m against is that the roads aren’t changing with the population growth, so traffic is becoming disgusting at most hours of the day. In one-hundred years if we could have expanded subways, that would help immensely.

Moving on. 7.) Norms. No more animal factory farms for Pete’s sake! Aside from that, most nations are living in the past as far as policies go. I can see our current work towards an open and equal society eventually becoming systemic. Take something like mental health programs to help rehabilitate those with drug addiction instead of jailing them. Same goes with the norms of nations like China. Right now, businesses like the film and video game industry minimize or remove people of colour in their art for the Chinese market, and increase boob sizes of women in video games. I’m not even kidding. And these are demands from the GOVERNMENT of China. So if they could stop being racist and sexist on a systemic level, that’d be greeeaaaat. Something someone once said to me about their experience working in the Canadian film industry was that even though he had been working in it successfully for 17 years, when being given funding on commercials next to their Caucasian peer, they were given a fraction of the budget, and when addressing this they were told they should feel lucky to be getting anything at all. Others who might have opposed the words of the higher up in this exchange, instead of backing their colleague, just shrugged in awkward solidarity. In something called ‘silent acceptance,’ letting bullies or sexists or racist in power continue to perform as they do because you don’t want to lose your own place of power, is something that has allowed the toxicity to continue in every business, not just the film industry. But I already see things changing so I’m not worried about society’s current trajectory. In one-hundred years time I’d hope that systems and norms give people the ability to work AND be happy.

Finally 8.) Events. This is another one that’s left completely up to one’s imagination. For me, I want to go over every possibility I can think of, that way I always end up on top. One possibility is another pandemic like COVID-19. Considering the Spanish flu happened in 1920, it isn’t far fetched to think there might be some kind of century-seasonal viral attack going on. It would make 2120 ripe for pandemic-ing. ANOTHER possibility, World War III. If nations get more territory like the moon and mars, then a nuclear fight that doesn’t kill everybody would be on the table. ANOTHER possibility, A.G.I. is actually achieved and the centralized, location-less entity takes over the world. This could be for good or ill, honestly. It could go either way. ANOTHER might be a regression in technology. There could be a Russian cyber attack that wipes out all electronics and puts us back a hundred years, or I guess two-hundred years if this is in the future. ANOTHER, China could take over the world! ANOTHER, aliens make contact for the first time! That would honestly be so mind-blowingly huge! I don’t want that happening not in my lifetime. ANOTHER, America delves into another civil war and outside nations pick sides. China and Russia help Trump’s side and he wins, turning America into an authoritarian nation like the other two superpower nations. THAT is a scary one. ANOTHER, the queen of England breathes her last breath, and Canada declares independence, somehow becoming a major superpower nation and ushering in a new space race that brings unimaginable wealth to the globe through mining celestial bodies!

And on that note, I’d say that covers it! I’m sure more events could happen, both less insane and just as life-changing that I simply couldn’t think of, but I’ll leave that for you to think of! As I’ve said, I’m dying to hear what possibilities you conjure up, so let me know wherever you can and I’ll read them! Thank you again as always for being here. I appreciate your time, wish you nothing but love in your life, and ask you to remember, to keep on thinking. Ciao for now.
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Thoughts 44: Where Did We Come From?

September 25th, 2020
In episode forty-four of Thoughts, I go over the vast account of our ancestral lineage. From creation myth, to ancient aliens, to the facts, our time on Earth has been unfathomably long. Enjoy!
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Where Did We Come From? Part Two

September 21st, 2020
What Is It Like to Be a Bat? is a paper that was written by American philosopher Thomas Nagel, first published in 1974. It was the public’s introduction to the idea of, not only, ‘I think; therefore I am,’ but, ‘there must be ways in which it is like to be something, other than our own personal being.’ We all understand the famous Descartes phrase, ‘I think; therefore I am,’ from 1637, because we all actively do it. Everyone actively processes information from their frontal cortex- which is the thing that we associate ourselves with; our waking self. But something we don’t often think about is that it is clearly LIKE something to be something else. Bats have brains, only different, along with different eyes and ears and nervous system. Same goes with all other life. Dogs, cats, dolphins, and flies. They are all having radically different experiences than us, but they are still indeed HAVING experiences… ones we can only imagine to the best of our deductive reasoning.

PART ONE HERE

It must BE like something to be a single-celled organism, because it’s a living thing. But that kind of experience would be so reductive to our own that we might imagine it’s like nothing at all. However, it is still doing things, so that’s not the case. Although it doesn’t have a brain, it still has an ‘operating system,’ or O.S. An O.S. is a computer term but I’d like to use it here to describe the point I’m trying to get across for this prelude. Art imitates life, or in this case, engineering imitates life. Brains aren’t like computers, computers are like brains, and when we think about how instincts work, using this simplified comparison helps. Instincts are like pre-written codes to direct the organism’s function. Eat, sleep, reproduce. When you move up on the complexity scale, more code must be written. From cells, to plants and animals, this coding grows and grows based on new information ala environments and interactions in it.

Of all the creatures on Earth, humans are the most complicated. There is no denying that. We can not only manipulate our code, but manually override it. Think about holding your bladder for 18 hours on a road trip, or being nice to someone you hate, or living a double life as an agent. We can learn new skills at any point in our life. That alone put us above all other animals, and it’s all thanks to our noggins! Now, with all that preamble and pro-humanity-toting over and done with, let’s get into the subject of where we came from!

Pre-history and history are such vast fields of study that I won’t even try to cover them with medial detail. Instead, I will go over the basic concepts unique to us humans and how it led to the world we know today. First, tools! Wait, other primates can use tools… crap.
This might be harder than I thought. No, no, no, I got this. Okay so we started using tools long before we looked like humans, and other primates- not even apes but monkeys- currently use tools, so that’s not an ‘us’ thing, but it helped pave the way to civilization. Now apart from tools, the first use of technology by humans, was that of FIRE! Claims for the earliest definitive evidence of the control of fire by a member of the Homo gene range from 1.7 to 2.0 million years ago?! It was that far back in prehistory??!! How did I not know this before researching it? That’s so much farther back in time than I thought! Guys, this is a rough start. Let me get back into it. So, according to the research, there is evidence for “microscopic traces of wood ash” intentionally used by Homo erectus that has wide scholarly support, with it beginning some 1,000,000 years ago. That really paints a picture for how long we’ve been creative, and much longer still it took us to properly organize ourselves as a collective.

If we’ve been using tools and manipulating fire since before we were even Homo sapiens, what are some things that our genus is specifically responsible for? Well it seems we got our first bite into human inventions with: clothes! Clothing was previously postulated to have come about around 40 000 years ago, but semi-recent studies in 2011 from the University of Florida, with the help of Ian Gillian from the Australian National University, found that although the last Ice Age on Earth occurred about 115 000 – 11 700 years ago, their study’s data suggests humans started wearing clothes in the preceding Ice Age 180 000 years ago. So this tells us two things. One, that humans were naked for quite some time. Our ancestors shed the bulk of their body hair around 800 000 years ago, and only after the invention of clothing did we finally migrate across the globe. There were other Hominin that left Africa before us, but did not make it. Only modern humans traversed, survived, and thrived in northern climates. Fashion wouldn’t become a thing for a heck of a lot longer but that’s a topic all on its own.
The next concept to cover, is belief and superstition. Stories are what bonded communities beyond immediate family members. While this list is rough and lacking in substantial detail, it does its job of showcasing humanity’s history with ritualistic practices: 100 000 BCE, the earliest known human burial is found in the Middle East. 70 000 – 35 000 BCE, Neanderthal burials take place in areas of Europe and the Middle East.

Now for a side bar- the list continues, but around this time, 43 000 years ago, the first signs of cave paintings was discovered! Ah, art, the expression of life. If you can believe this though, Neanderthals beat us to the punch. The oldest cave painting we discovered is from ancient Spain, dating back 64 000 years ago, done by Neanderthals. And the earliest human cave painting dates back 43 000 years ago from Indonesia. It depicts a goat or cattle being hunted, with fairly decent details like the animal’s fur. Now, back to the pre-religious activity.

40 000 BCE, the remains of one of the earliest known anatomically modern humans, Homo sapiens sapiens, was discovered cremated and buried near Lake Mungo, in Australia. 38 000 BCE, the Aurignacian Löwenmensch figurine, the oldest known zoomorphic (animal-shaped) sculpture in the world and one of the oldest known sculptures in general, was made. The sculpture has also been interpreted as anthropomorphic, giving human characteristics to an animal, although it may have represented a deity.

35 000 – 26 000 BCE, Neanderthal burials become absent from the archaeological record. This roughly coincides with the time period of the Homo sapiens’ introduction to Europe and decline of the Neanderthals that I alluded to in my previous piece; individual human skulls and/or long bones began appearing, heavily stained with red ochre and separately buried. This practice may be the origin of sacred relics. The oldest discovered “Venus figurines” appeared in graves. Some were deliberately broken or repeatedly stabbed, possibly representing the murders of the men with whom they were buried, or owing to some other unknown social dynamic. 25 000 – 21 000 BCE, clear examples of burials are present in Iberia, Wales, and eastern Europe. These, too, incorporate the heavy use of red ochre. Additionally, various objects were included in the graves (e.g. periwinkle shells, weighted clothing, dolls, possible drumsticks, mammoth ivory beads, fox teeth pendants, “baton” antlers, flint blades, etc.) Also, dozens of men, women, and children were being buried in the same caves which were used for burials years beforehand. All these graves are delineated by the cave walls and large limestone blocks. Some burials were double, comprising an adult male with a juvenile male buried by his side. They were now beginning to take on the form of modern cemeteries. Old burials were commonly re-dug and moved to make way for new ones, with the older bones often being gathered and cached together. Large stones may have acted as grave markers. Pairs of ochred antlers were sometimes mounted on poles within the cave; this is compared to the modern practice of leaving flowers at a grave. 9 130 – 7 370 BCE; This was the apparent period of use of Göbekli Tepe, one of the oldest human-made sites of worship yet discovered. Evidence of similar usage has also been found in another nearby site, Nevalı Çori. 7 500 – 5 700 BCE, the settlements of Çatalhöyük developed as a likely spiritual center of Anatolia. Its inhabitants left behind numerous clay figurines and impressions of phallic, feminine, and hunting scenes; possibly practicing worship in communal shrines.

What followed this long timeline was the Indian, Mesopotamian, Egyptian, and Abrahamic Religions. But… one thing you might start to ask yourself when going over the lands that this archaeological research discovers, is that it in no way includes other areas that humans existed in, such as the Americas, Africa, and ancient eastern Asia. This pattern can be discovered in the modern western educational system when teaching history. When I was in school I didn’t question it, but looking back at my history classes, they only taught us British history. What about Native American history, or African history? A lot more than England went into Canada being what it is today. I don’t know if it’s still an issue in Canada’s educational system, but if it isn’t still something being done arrogantly through national imperialism, it’s through an oversight of perspective. All peoples exist, have existed, and hold just as deep histories as all other peoples. We are all one race, to make my message clear, and we ought to treat our histories as such, institutionally. Now, with that preaching done, we shall move on to another concept!

Business. Heck yeah, baby. You got a goat? I got a daughter. Let’s do this thing. It’s weird how late morals came in the game. Business has had a long trotted and rough road in our history, from the selling of daughters and slaves, to current arms dealing. I’m not too sure if civilization came first or trades, but the idea is one that is uniquely huma… wait a minute… haven’t tests been done on apes and monkeys about this? It has, hasn’t it. Son of a gun! So, trade isn’t a uniquely human trait? But I think I can still say business is, because of its encompassing of others things that collectively only we do. One such thing is have a ‘common currency,’ ala money. It was the greatest invention business would see in a longggg time. Before common currency, we performed something called the barter system, where you would just trade one item for another. One person had a hammer, the other had chickens. Nobody had money. So if you needed the hammer, but the other guy didn’t need chickens, you were out of luck.

Moving on, we cultivated land! Agriculture was our first signs of true civilization. If one could farm, one could sustain the masses. Humans are still the only creatures on earth with the capacity to develop and maintain something as complex as plant and animal maintenance through seasonal rotation cycles. Plant something here, feed something there, and you got culture! Now if we start combining all these things, from religiosity leading to leaderships like kings and queens, to farming, to business, you got the makings of a city on your hands! Aye, that’s what I’m talkin’ about! Livin’ it up in the city!

So now we must ask ourselves, what was the first city? Imma give you guys some tinfoil-hat-wearin’ stuff before going into the facts. While this is in no way a conspiracy theory, it is also in no way a legitimate theory. The name: Atlantis. The place: The eye of the Sahara, just south of Morocco.

If you look up the Richat Structure (another name for the eye of the Sahara) you will find that endless studies have been done on the 40 kilometre structure. They tried to explain it as an impact crater, but data suggests that was not the case. They tried to finalize a theory that it was caused by low-temperature hydrothermal waters, but couldn’t say for sure. The final word on the structure’s creation is that further protection is needed for future testing. So as of now, its cause is unknown. Now you might be thinking, ‘alright, with no other explanation, you gotta admit, it looks pretty man-made, eh?’ Well the reason that’s not a legitimate theory is because there are no remnants of a lost civilization. One might then say to that, ‘oh well quit yanking my chain then! Is it something or nothing?’ And to that I say, the reason there are no remains could very well be due to a massive flood wiping away their simplistic housing, and later peoples clearing up the remaining resources to reuse for themselves. We only know about past peoples by their bones and the structures they left behind, like the Stonehenge. If the people of Atlantis were pre-monoliths, then a flood washing away their houses would leave nothing behind. Buuuuuuuuuuut anyway, I leave Indie Archaeology’s video here for you as the best case FOR this wacky theory, as the rest will say nothing or otherwise. Now, back to the facts.

Currently, Turkey proudly totes housing the site of the oldest confirmed remains of a city on planet Earth. They promote it on their tourism website: GoTurkey, which is additionally promoted on Google; double confirmed. The name of the city is… oh, come on not this name again… uh, Çatalhöyük? It dates back a whopping 7 000 BCE, so over 9 000 years ago. From this point on, you got more cities. It’s like lightning that’s escaped a bottle, you can’t put it back in. Everything become incredibly dense, including the information, with romances and betrayals and gods and empires. You got yourself history, at least partly. Records were kept by ancient Egyptians, Sumerians, and Mesopotamia. China was already doing its thing by now, and before you knew it, around 300 BCE you had Pythagorean math. Next was the golden age of Islam in the 9th and 10th century CE giving us algebra.

Nations formed throughout all these innovations and many tried to rule the world: Persia, Rome, Mongolia, Spain, France, and of course, England. History is pretty self-explanatory; we remember it to learn from our past and so we don’t repeat it. And yet, we repeat things all the time. It’s in our makeup to form patterns. Leaders abuse power, conduct genocide, and eventually die. Technologies grow, giving us great ages of prosperity, then turmoil. The world ever-changes into unrecognizable spaces yet somehow is always the same. Conflict is permanently present, but sometimes teeters on apocalyptic. Right now in this age of COVID-19 and global tension we sit on the precipice of great change, for the better like in green technologies, or for the worse like in the government of China’s totalitarian rule over everyone’s goods. Whether both happen or neither, it’s hard to think we’re not in the middle of history right now. There was a time for the western world after the Vietnam war that many thought history was now over as peace settled, then 9/11 happened and brought things back into perspective. For many nations they have known no such luxury. There have been countless generations of people forced to fight wars they don’t believe in, or hit the streets and potentially die to protest leaders they didn’t vote for. For some people, that scenario has been their only reality. I count myself remarkably lucky to be living in the country and the time I find myself in, and wish to use my time here to try and continue our species’ journey to greener pastures of both peace and knowledge.

I hope you all enjoyed my little dive into how we got here as a species. I appreciate all of your time, wish you nothing but love in your life, and ask you to remember to keep on thinking! Also, make sure if you found this interesting, to do your own research! You will get far more comprehensive information, plus who knows what crazy new thing you might learn on the way? Stay safe, have fun, and see you guys later.
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Thoughts 43: Filberts

September 19th, 2020
In episode forty-three of Thoughts, I take you guys (meaning both) on a journey through the discovery of the word filbert, its origins, and what it means to label things. Enjoy!
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Thoughts 42: States of Consciousness

September 18th, 2020
In episode forty-two of Thoughts, I expand on my previous episode: Reality, by going over the many forms our mind can take in regard to painting our reality. Enjoy!
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Aliens

September 14th, 2020
What’s that, in the sky? It’s a bird! A plane! No, it’s a U.F.O. BRO! Holy S**T Bro WHAT THE F**K?! Hey everybody and welcome back to another thought piece by me, ya boy, Joe Van! Today we will be going over the topic of aliens! Whether you mean people from another country, an unusual sensation, or intelligent extraterrestrial hominin-like organisms that evolved independently from us yet harbour many similar traits like language, limbs, and social tendencies!; they all fall under the same name. So where to start? Well, with the word of course!

The word alien in English came from an older version of French as the same name, which itself came from the Latin word alienus, meaning ‘belonging to another.’ Believe it or not but that Latin word came from an OLDER Latin word! The word being alius, meaning ‘other,’ though you could have guessed that. For this reason the word was primarily used to describe a foreigner, especially one who was not a naturalized citizen of the country where they were living. For this reason it was, and is, a term used almost exclusively in a derogatory sense. It would be a long time until the name meant what we now associate it with: the martians; but alien as a term is also used to describe a plant or animal species originally introduced from another country and later naturalized. And finally its other use is to describe the sensation of something being unfamiliar, and disturbing or distasteful.

We have, as a species, for a long time feared the world beyond our communities. Strangers, uncharted lands, and radical weather patterns breathed the same fear of the unknown. When sickness struck, we had no idea what was happening, and that was terrifying. It still is in cases like COVID-19. Viruses and diseases are invisible to the naked eye. They attack us in ways that make us feel alien in our own bodies. This feeling of unknowing is the extenuation of dread. We don’t know what’s happening, but it’s something bad and it’s coming for us.

Pivoting from the invisible, there are certain weather patterns that have made clouds look very strange. One such case is the cloud pattern known as: Lenticular clouds.
They are discus clouds that look unlike any normal cloud formation. They almost look like solid objects hovering in the air. Many religious paintings depict sacred objects in the atmosphere. Some are gold, others are silhouettes, but you can begin to see what would later be the hallmark shape we know now as U.F.O.s- though when people say that they don’t mean an unidentified flying object, they mean alien saucers.
The earliest known instances of the word “Martian”, (used as a noun instead of an adjective,) were printed in late 1877. They appeared nearly simultaneously in England and the United States, in magazine articles detailing Asaph Hall’s discovery of the moons of Mars in August of that year. The next event to inspire the use of the noun Martian in print was the International Exposition of Electricity, which was hosted in Paris in the year 1881. During the four months of the exhibition, many people visited to witness such technological marvels as the incandescent light bulb and the telephone. One visitor came away wondering what kind of world such innovations might engender in the next 200 years. Writing anonymously, s/he assembled some speculations in an essay titled “The Year of Grace 2081”, which enjoyed wide circulation. The Martians enter the story late in the narrative. During a rest from international conflict on Earth, humans begin telecommunicating with Martians.

This is when the fiction-fun began. W. S. Lach-Szyrma’s novel Aleriel, or A Voyage to Other Worlds (1883) was previously reputed to be the first published work to apply the word Martian as a noun. The usage is incidental; it occurs when Aleriel, the novel’s protagonist, lands on Mars in a spacecraft called an “ether-car” (an allusion to aether, which was once postulated as a gaseous medium in outer space). Aleriel buries the car in snow “so that it might not be disturbed by any Martian who might come across it.” Fifteen years after Aleriel, H. G. Wells’ landmark novel The War of the Worlds (1898) was published. We all know how that one goes; the Martians invade us as octopus-like organisms in tripods, before succumbing to Earth’s bacteria, wiping them out.

So now let’s jump into the modern mysteries of aliens popularized from Nevada in the 1950’s. The Roswell Incident was an event that brought curious eyes to a now freely available government cover up. For a comprehensive dive into its history, I recommend the Internet Historian’s video, titled: The Roswell Incident. Regardless of the actual truth, that the U.F.O. in question was actually a weather balloon, the masses were alight with conspiracies theories about collusion between little green men and the American government.

Believe you me, there’s nothing more exciting than coming across an attempted cover up and personally following along with a detective to uncover the ‘truth,’ but a lesson we must all understand, is that the truth is almost always whatever the most boring option is. That being said, though, our species has done great work to uncover captivating possibilities regarding the potential for there to be extraterrestrial life in the universe. One possibility comes in the form of a mathematical equation, called: The Drake Equation.

Created in 1961 by Frank Drake, the drake equation helps us formulate the probability of there being intelligent life through all the factors that goes into how we know life comes about. With that in mind, we need not look so far as other star systems to find extraterrestrials. If we’re only looking for life itself and not communicative intelligent life, as recently as 2019, Russian astronauts aboard the ISS found microscopic bacteria on the space station’s solar panels. There are many ways that bacteria could have gotten there, like strong up-currents of wind somehow propelling them out of the atmosphere, or from expelled ice crystals of any moon or other planet in our solar system, or most excitedly from interstellar celestial bodies harbouring ice. The main ingredient for life on Earth is water, so our only assumptions for life elsewhere is the same thing, even if it’s frozen.

Finally the last case of aliens we will dive into is the possibility of (if not intelligent, then at the very least) advanced extraterrestrial life on other bodies in our solar system. I just previously alluded to bacteria being ejected from moons, and the strongest candidates for this kind of habitability are currently icy satellites such as the moons of Jupiter and Saturn: Europa and Enceladus respectively. Although, if life exists in either place, it would probably be confined to subsurface habitats. Either way, that’s our closest bet currently on finding truly alien organisms!

I hope you guys enjoyed my little dive into the subject of aliens. I had a lot of fun researching it, but want to stress that you do your own research. There is a TON of stuff I left out to be explored in this field, so Google away if you’re curious! And as always, thank you for giving me your time, I truly appreciate it. I wish you nothing but love in your life, and ask you to remember, to keep on thinking. Ciao for now.
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Thoughts 41: Introductions

September 12th, 2020
In episode forty-one of Thoughts, I read to you guys from the beginning page of my four completed novels. I start the narrative with a mini thought piece to prime y’all for the what the story will cover. Let me know if you guys liked this video however you can! It’s greatly appreciated. Enjoy!
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Thoughts 40: Reality

September 10th, 2020
In episode forty of Thoughts, I talk about the one thing we all perceive yet all perceive differently: reality. I go over how much we know or could know about reality, along with how our minds construct the reality we all personally experience. Enjoy!
https://thejoevan.files.wordpress.com/2020/07/thoughts-40.mp3
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Where Did We Come From?

September 7th, 2020
Well, once upon a time, Adam and Eve were made by God. According to the creation myth of the Abrahamic religions, they were the first man and woman. Okay, okay, I’m just messin’ with you, but for the longest time this story and others (where we all came from one pair) was the only answer we would get when asking about our origins? I mean, how could we possibly imagine what it really was before hard scientific work was put to it. After all, as magical as creation myths are, they don’t really answer the question, do they? So where did we really come from? Some fun folk suggest, or imagine, that we were once Martians before we nuked the atmosphere and fled to Earth. That’s why we have back pain and childbirth can be so lethal, because we were once from a planet that had less gravity. But, that still doesn’t work with what we know about reality, does it? So, where in the heck did we TRULY come from?

Most people can clearly see that we hold several similarities to chimpanzees, bonobos, orangutans, and gorillas. They have opposable thumbs, expressive faces, and bipedal tendencies. The reason for these similarities is because… of these four great apes, we are the fifth! That’s right. There are five great apes on Earth and humans are one of them. An ape, or great ape, is any tailless primate, and seeing how we are primates and tailless, we fit in that category. So how did we come to be so clearly different from our discursive species cousins?

Wayyyyyyyyy back 85 million years ago, before the extinction of the dinosaurs, a common ancestor for every primate existed: Purgatorius. Then evolution did what it does, as it had always been doing, and diversified. Purgatorius migrated to separate areas and occupied different environments. These hominoidea then mutated through hundreds and thousands of generations, and completely new species developed. This is where a separation from monkeys and apes began. Certain primates stayed small with long tails while other grew big. Lemurs and Lorises were the earliest ancestors to branch out, around 60 million years ago.
Tarsiers split from our common ancestors 55 millions years ago.

Then 30 million later the final connection between monkey species and ape species would be forever separated. New world monkeys then old world monkeys (Yes it’s in reverse) continued to diversity on their own. Let’s take a moment to press ‘f’ in the chat to pay respects, and wave goodbye to all the monkeys we will forever drift further away from in lineage.

Gibbons were the next species to delineate, being labelled not as monkeys but as the one and only lesser ape, most closely related to orangutans.

Which means orangutans were the next species to splinter from our common ancestors, nine million years ago. Then gorillas parted ways around eight and a half million years ago, putting us closer and closer to human-looking creatures. The present day is catching up to us quick!
Six and a half million years ago, the genus ‘pan,’ which became bonobos and chimpanzees, forever delineated from our common ancestor. For this reason, they are our closest inter-species cousins. There are many physical mannerisms and sociological traits that mirror humanity’s because of this. If you’ve ever had the luxury of seeing these guys in action you can catch them doing things we would do, like flinging feces- wait, wait… actually… that is something people have done throughout history. Okay, chimps, you do you.
At this point our ancestors were the hominin category of species that we are still connected to today, but our lineage kept changing. Human still wouldn’t exists for another five million years. The famous ‘Lucy’ fossil was from around three million years ago from the species Australopithecus. They were still very chimpanzee-looking but at that point only led to us. Homo habilis came about one million years ago, leading to homo erectus. Homo erectus as the name suggests were the first stages of a purely upright species. They were around from one million to 600 000 years ago, leading to homo sapiens.

Now you might be thinking, “We made it! It’s us- who we are today! Hooray!!” And listen, I don’t wanna rain on your parade, but I’m just gonna stop you right there! Take a step back from that cheer and calm down, partner! We’re not there yet. Homo sapiens are discovered to have come about around 400 000 years ago, but it’s still early days. Believe it or not, the ancestors we refer to as cave-people: Neanderthals, actually came about more recently than homo sapiens!; around 200 000 years ago. However, they no longer exist today. Some would suggest it was due to their inferior communication skills to the homo sapien sapiens- whos’ anatomical ability to form vowel sounds (with their larynx lower in the throat, allowing for better resonance of vocal waves) kept them going. I am not one of those people, though. I haphazardly subscribe to another theory, as it is currently undecided in the scientific community, one which brings us to an uncomfortable truth about ourselves: our capacity for genocide.

According to Canadian scholar Adam Jones, if a dominant group of people had little in common with a marginalized group of people, it is easy for the dominant group to define the other as subhuman. As a result, the marginalized group might be labeled as a threat that must be eliminated. He writes, “While history today is generally written with some fealty to ‘objective’ facts, most previous accounts aimed rather to praise the writer’s patron (normally the leader) and to emphasize the superiority of one’s own gods and religious beliefs.” Hypotheses which suggest that genocidal violence may have caused the extinction of the Neanderthals have been offered by several authors, including Jared Diamond and Ronald Wright. This capacity for brutality can be found in our cousins, the chimpanzees, so it’s not a uniquely human trait, but it is nonetheless one- if not THE- worst trait we possess. 30 000 years ago, after homo sapiens spent thousands of years interbreeding with Neanderthals, they went extinct. All we have to go on is fossil records so it’s not like we have detailed accounts of a great war being fought, but it is clear that they were blinked out of existence and we were not, so it’s unlikely they suffered some rare disease or environmental disaster because it would have happened to us as well.

Moving on from the darkness, we will pedal backwards to 40 000 years ago. Cro-Magnon appeared; the most human-looking ancestor yet, and even this subspecies faded from time about ten thousand years ago. Now for one final backward pedal, our current lineage of humanity: homo sapien sapiens first came about 120 000 years ago, though it’s still debated if it could be older. For a long time, ancient structures like the lining of houses gave us hints at human-kind’s first civilizations back around 100 000 years ago in Africa, but that too is in debate as more recent findings might point us literally double as far back in prehistory, around 200 000 years ago. Our inability to glimpse the past other than through bones and scraps makes it all so mysterious.

What exactly was it like back in the earliest known civilizations? As we find ourselves now, humanity records everything. We created religions, migrated across the globe, created businesses, and governments. If anything jumping into the question of ‘where did we come from?’ grants, it’s a scale of time that we rarely glimpse and still won’t be able to comprehend even after going over these biological facts. The vastness of time dwarfs humanities entire history. Everything we currently know through teaching, from philosophy, to art, to mathematics, and physics, all comes from this long trial and error effort of survival from our countless ancestors. The world we know today has been given to us by great minds and everyone else who did their best to utilize the knowledge and spread it across the world.

Our quest to understand where we come from is not done, however! The vastness of what brought us to being biologically human is complete, but what about our lost civilizations to our current recorded history? I shall make that a part two of this! So stay tuned for that article to know when it comes. Until then, I appreciate all of your time, wish you nothing but love in your life, and ask you to remember, to keep on thinking! Byebye.

PART TWO HERE
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Filberts

August 31st, 2020
Great Value Deluxe Mixed Nuts (with 40% cashews) houses many nuts, one of them being hazelnuts… but on the packaging they refer to hazelnuts as filberts. My girlfriend wondered at first what filberts were and why they didn’t put hazelnuts on the can. Great Value isn’t a Canadian brand as it is owned by Walmart, but these particular packaged mixed nuts were processed in Mississauga, in the G.T.A. (greater Toronto area) so with this fresh wonderment upon the both of us, I decided to look up filberts and find out why the hazelnuts were being called that. I initially assumed/speculated that it would be a wonky British term (because they have so many,) but what we soon found was the term’s origins coming from a religious French tradition.

(A little edit I wanted to add here; There are other theories to the naming of this nut, like that they came from the German word for full-beard ‘vollbart‘, and that later became filbert which is the nut’s first name, but I’m confident the Anglo-Saxons named the nut first as ‘hæsel‘ which later became hazels {because the earliest signs of the hazel species existing was in ancient England, 7 000 years ago.} It is up for debate whether filbert came from the previously mentioned German word or if they just sound similar, and I come to the same conclusion as Darth Vader’s name- that it’s a coincidence. Okay, edit done.)

As hazelnuts were best cultivated at the end of August, close to the feast day of St. Philibert’s Day on August 20th, the people of France began calling hazelnuts: filberts, in honour of that. Although Turkey is the world capitol of hazelnuts, the French people dominated the hazelnut name, arguably. In the U.S., people give hazelnuts nicknames like cobnuts or just hazels, but here in Canada, Great Value has (potentially) decided to bend the knee to our Quebec overlords and call the nut by their French name to appease them.

For those who don’t know, the province of Quebec has several different and divisive rules about product management, associations, and deals that corporations have to abide by if they want to have their business in their land. Quebec acts as if they’re their own country, essentially. And although this is just speculation, one can find a pattern or come to a conclusion that because so many of their rules placed upon international brands require changes like calling hazelnuts filberts, many of these French-dominant changes bleed over into the rest of Canadian products.

My girlfriend was upset to discover that the reason why hazelnuts were called filberts was for a saint’s day, saying that religion should not be the reason something is named differently, and I couldn’t agree more. It was only in 2005 that the term ‘Common Era’ really started growing throughout American institutions as a replacement for ‘anno Domini (in {the} year of {our} Lord, referencing Christ.) Even though the term ‘Common Era’ first came about in 1615 by Johannes Kepler as a nondenominational phasing to describe out species time in history, many Christians still fight to this day for their phrasing to be the one used by the world, finding their dominance over other religions being backtracked as an attack or affront to their faith.

What does filberts mean in the grand scheme of naming a nut, or anything at all? Things have history and histories are placements in time. Should we change nothing now that we have it? Or can things change all the time depending on the flow of society and their furthering interconnections? More so, what are good reasons to change things versus bad? The only emotional backlash I ever felt for something changing institutionally was the addition of feathers and fur on dinosaur models in museums. I have since come to love it, but I remember feeling so taken aback when I first saw it, thinking ‘NO! This isn’t what dinosaurs look like! These people have ruined everything!’ But looking at this hazelnut/filbert thing, I wonder what the point of only calling them filberts on the can is. I don’t know, but I think me wanting to share it with you lot comes from a place of questioning labels. I hope you got something out of this thought piece! And remember, I love you, and keep on thinking. Thanks for reading; bye.
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Thoughts 38: Ending Adolescence

August 28th, 2020
In episode thirty-eight of Thoughts, I talk about growing up, from childhood to adolescence to adulthood. Life holds so many changes for us and we’ve charted them to great detail, save narrowly for the ending of adolescence, in my mind. I go over this and what it means to really grow up. Enjoy!
https://thejoevan.files.wordpress.com/2020/08/thoughts-38.mp3
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States of Consciousness

August 24th, 2020
When I put together my visualized Thoughts piece: Reality, (that you may or may not have seen yet depending on when you’re reading this,) I used psychedelic visuals to start the video, yet at no point did I talk about the mind in that altered state, only that hallucinations are to be taken with care… and I feel like I left a hole in the subject of reality un-talked about. As we all know, whether we’ve had a psychedelic experience or not, it makes you think differently about the world. I continued pondering upon this until I got to a place where it just felt necessary to cover different states of consciousness entirely in their own piece! Hence, we are here.

We all know there are different states of experience. You could be sleepy, or fully awake! These fields of sensation aren’t just feelings, they are lenses with which our minds filter reality. Think of a glass slide in your brain switching every so often, unbeknownst to you. A bowl of tomato soup is just a bowl of tomato soup, but to one person it could be seen as something delicious, and to another something disgusting. A baby could find a car ride the most exciting thing in the world, and the parent could be in a state of frantic impatience.

These different states, to me, give us a proper look into our own mind. Whether these states change over time is irrelevant, what matters is our understanding of them in us. We have the above mentioned: sleepy, awake, delicious, disgusted, excited, and impatient; but what other states can we be in as humans? We can be happy, sad, angry, lethargic, twitchy, depressed, manic, hysteric, calm, confident, anxious, curious, lucid, livid, distracted, melancholic, tempered, or alarmed.

I know a lot of you might be thinking, ‘feelings aren’t states of consciousness,’ but I would say that feelings are what we experience the most, regardless of whether we’re aware of their colouring effect over our perception or not, and that makes them valid as states. Now, with all that said, this assessment is just my personal take on the topic. When I googled ‘States of Consciousness’ I got many different responses.

It seems a large number of new parents wondered why their babies smiled in their sleep, before showing any other forms of self-awareness, and WebMD’s response was this: “Often newborns will smile in their sleep. Sometimes a smile in the early weeks of life is simply a sign that your little bundle is passing gas. But starting between 6 and 8 weeks of life, babies develop a “social smile” — an intentional gesture of warmth meant just for you.” Ain’t that sweet? 🙂

Most other responses to the general query of ‘States of Consciousness’ gave me two, three, four, or six stages of consciousness revolving around wakefulness to a deep, dreamless sleep. While this field of scientific study is entirely valid in its own right, it wasn’t what I was looking for. The word conscious clearly has two meanings; there is the prior ‘wakefulness’, then there is having ‘perception’. So with that in mind, the final general response I got was what I was really looking for: higher consciousness, found through mindfulness. So now what is the state of higher consciousness? Plainly, it is the momentary state of being conscious you are conscious, and being entirely dispelled of the illusion of separation from yourself and the world.

This place of enlightenment or higher consciousness is very temporary. If one trains through meditation to reach it, it can take months or even years to get to a place where you reach the state of ‘oneness’ for more than a few seconds. Other methods of reaching this state are by consuming a combination of chemicals that change your neurological system. Some notable chemicals are DMT, LSD, ketamine, psilocybin, and mescaline. Once consumed, these drugs alter your brain chemistry and, with variation, rip away your sense of time, your labeling of objects, give you unbounded love to anyone in your vicinity, hallucinate objects or your entire environment, alter your thought process to give your a different understanding of prior beliefs, and so on.

This higher state of consciousness is not our default by any means, and one can argue that many people go their whole life without reaching it. Though it can be thrust upon someone without any drugs, meditation, or warning, like in the middle of a hike, it can also never happen at all. That can seem like a tragedy to those that have reached a higher state and understand its importance of impact on perspective, but each person must live their own life, however bounded by their own limitations in this regard. We all go through different states, whether we are aware of it or not. It is always happening multiple times a day, and it is up to us to recognize that and do our best to direct ourselves to the best possible state we can be in for both ourselves and others (Through patience, communication, and love.)

Thank you again as always for reading. I love you all and appreciate your time, and remember, to keep on thinking. Goodbye.
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Reality

August 17th, 2020
What starts as something almost too simple to even think about, reality is so secretly perplexing that doing a deep dive into what we know will leave one floored. The truth is, we know very little about how we are here. The Big Bang theory is still the best possible take on how our CURRENT reality came to be, but it does little to explain how something can come from nothing. Or how our laws of physics sustain themselves in the matrix of our seemingly unbounded universe. String theory is a set of attempts to model the four known fundamental interactions—gravitation, electromagnetism, strong nuclear force, and weak nuclear force—together in one theory. String theory is thusly a theoretical framework in which the point-like particles of particle physics are replaced by one-dimensional objects called strings, and describes how these strings propagate through space and interact with each other.
But this, just like the Big Bang, is a theory, and these theories simply do not work the same way answers do; the way we would want them to. They are debated rigorously and to no current end, as we simply cannot know the answers to these things. ‘Why can we not know the answers to these things?’ I hear you ask. The reason is because we can’t perform the necessary testing to get the answers we seek. We are but merely physical, three-dimensional primates with minds evolved through survival and suspended linearly by time. It makes certain testing completely impossible. Our greatest strength against all these odds and obstacles, are our abilities to apply math to concepts. Then to simply have the creativity to imagine possibilities within the rules of the universe we know. A fun philosophical theory that fits these perimeters is: Last Thursdayism. It’s the proposition that the universe began to exist last Thursday, with the appearance of age and history leading to where we are now. Last Thurdayism was used as a response to claims of young-earth creationism that the Earth was created to look old, that, by the same logic, the world might have begun last Thursday. It’s a claim that can’t be disproved but also can’t be proved, like a God of the gaps situation.

Solipsism, for those who don’t know, follows the beginning of my Being Alone thought piece. It is the philosophical idea that ONLY one’s mind is sure to exist. As an epistemological position, solipsism holds that knowledge of anything outside one’s own mind is unsure; the external world and other minds cannot be known and might not exist outside the mind. Sleep deprivation and the disorder of schizophrenia muddy individuals’ perception of reality. When one is not sure if something is a hallucination of the mind, or if it is physically real, the best bet is to not act on what you see, assuming nothing is real. That can lead to dangerous situations though and of course is never recommended, but if you ever feel like you can’t tell what is real and what is illusory, I personally urge you to seek professional help or seek a shelter where one can properly assess or care for you.

Now with that being said, it may sound crazy to suggest that everything we currently experience IS actually an illusion! I mean, wouldn’t that spit in the face of my previous statement? Not quite. Cognitive scientist Anil Seth proposes (in the TED Talk: Your Brain Hallucinates Your Conscious Reality,) that every brain lives in an entire reality that it has created for itself. With all the signals our brains receive from our senses and all the prior experiences it has organized into expectations, each of our brains construct a coherent image of reality. To quote Anil Seth, the brain constructs a “multisensory, panoramic 3D, fully immersive inner movie,” for us to perceive. Seth then uses optical illusions and classic experiments to underscore the point that “we don’t just passively perceive the world; we actively generate it. The world we experience comes as much from the inside-out as the outside-in,” in a process hardly different from that which we casually call hallucination. As hard as it is to comprehend, we are all always hallucinating. “It’s just when we agree about our hallucinations, that’s what we call ‘reality.’” And as for what, exactly, constitutes the “we,” our brains do a good deal of work to construct that too.

The concept is one to galvanize the curiosity of anyone with even a mild interest in mind-bending subjects, like myself. He leaves us with implications of his and others’ research to consider, one being, “just as we can misperceive the world, we can misperceive ourselves”; and another being, “our individual inner universe is just one way of being conscious, and even human consciousness generally is a tiny region in a vast space of possible consciousnesses.” It is said generally that ‘our loved ones know us better than we know ourselves,’ like the other saying, ‘the closer you look, the less you see.’ As we can all imagine, reality would look very different from the multiple eyes of a fly. We know infrared vision exists, hinting at an entire world we simply cannot see with the naked human eye. What would the world around us look like if we had eyes on the sides of our head instead of directly in front, or if we had multiple optical cones instead of two specialized ones? What even is reality if there’s no one way to see it? It’s like our individual sense of self. We imagine it as one solid thing, but in reality our consciousness’ are more like a cloud of mini consciousnesses coalescing to make it seem like one coherent self. Same with the universe. It has no one visual state, and it is mostly made up of anti matter, something we cannot see, hear, smell, taste, or touch.

So all in all, reality is as complete of a mystery as anything else we find mysterious. The ocean floor, what lies beneath Jupiter’s clouds, gravitational time dilation, the afterlife, human consciousness, or secrets our loved ones hold, these things, especially the questions we don’t even have the imagination to ask, will be the things forever at the deep end of the pool of experience. Should we as a species continue to make progress, chipping away at individual questions and find better hypotheses, we would all be better for it, but we should accept that there will be things that can never be answered like the origins of reality itself. Either way, we are all still here to live our life, so let’s do what we can with this mystery by just loving as many others as we can. Thank you as always for being here. I love you all, and until next time, keep on thinking. Good bye.
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Thoughts 36: Tolerance

August 14th, 2020
In episode thirty-six of Thoughts, I talk about different forms of tolerance, how we’re subjected to it, when it comes, and when it goes. Enjoy!
https://thejoevan.files.wordpress.com/2020/06/thoughts-36.mp3
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Astrology

August 10th, 2020
Before getting into it, I just wanted to preface this piece by saying that if you believe in astrology, turn away now! I come at it with my biases and am rude to the subject. Now, with that said…

Ahh the reading of one’s psychology through the motion of planets and stars, peak science. Welcome back everyone to ya boy, Joe Van, and my thoughts on given topics. Today we are covering astrology, not to be confused with astronomy, a natural science that studies celestial objects and phenomena. Where astronomy uses mathematics, physics, and chemistry in order to explain the origin and evolution of the macro-verse… astrology (as a pseudoscience that claims to divine information about human affairs and terrestrial events by studying the movements and relative positions of celestial objects) uses tarot cards, newspaper pages, and apps; all done by con artists and true believers.

The similarities between these subjects are their objects of interest: planets, moons, stars, nebulae, galaxies, and comets. Where they differ is on the relationship of these objects to us humans here on Earth. Astronomy makes no claim that our universe has any pulling effect on our psychology, except to poets when they look up at a clear night sky. Astrology has been dated to at least the 2nd millennium BCE- or ‘Before Common Era’, and has its roots in calendrical systems used to predict seasonal shifts and to interpret celestial cycles as signs of divine communications. Many cultures have attached importance to astronomical events, and some, such as the Hindus, Chinese, and the Maya, developed elaborate albeit arbitrary systems for predicting terrestrial events from celestial observations.

Western astrology, one of the oldest astrological systems STILL IN USE, can trace its roots to the 19th–17th century BCE Mesopotamia, from where it spread to Ancient Greece, Rome, the Arab world and eventually Central and Western Europe. And one can see why it spread as far as it did. Aside from giving divine meaning to our every moment, it stroke peoples’ egos. Contemporary Western astrology is often associated with systems of horoscopes that purport to explain aspects of a person’s personality and predict significant events in their lives based on the positions of celestial objects. So now let’s get into the nitty-gritty.

A horoscope is an astrological chart or diagram representing the positions of the Sun, Moon, planets, and astrological aspects meant to chart significance at the time of an event, such as the moment of a person’s birth. The word horoscope is derived from the Greek words ōra and scopos meaning “time” and “observer”.

The tarot is a pack of playing cards used from the mid-15th century in various parts of Europe, and is still used today for that function. BUT, in the late 18th century, some tarot decks began to be used for divination via ‘tarot card reading’, or cartomancy, leading to custom decks developed for such occult purposes. The earliest evidence of a tarot deck used for cartomancy comes from an anonymous manuscript around 1750 which documents rudimentary divinatory meanings for the cards. The popularization of esoteric tarot started with Antoine Court and Jean-Baptiste Alliette in Paris during the 1780s, using the Tarot of Marseilles. Regular French tarot card players abandoned the Marseilles tarot (a type of deck) in favor of the Tarot Nouveau around 1900, resulting in the Marseilles pattern now mostly being used by cartomancers.

Now let’s pivot back to the big picture. The zodiac is an area of the sky that extends approximately 8° north or south (as measured in celestial latitude) of the ‘ecliptic’, the apparent path of the Sun across the Earth over the course of the year. The paths of the Moon and visible planets are also within the belt of the zodiac.In Western astrology, and formerly astronomy back in its infancy of science, the zodiac is divided into twelve signs, each occupying 30° of celestial longitude and roughly corresponding to the constellations: Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, and Pisces.These astrological signs form a celestial coordinate system, or even more specifically an ecliptic coordinate system, which takes the ecliptic as the origin of latitude and the Sun’s position at vernal equinox as the origin of longitude. So there you go! That’s the origin of latitude and longitude!

But what does it all mean? Can a website really tell me what kind of person I am due to what day I was born? You might as well ask yourself this: can a medium really talk to your dead loved ones by guessing letters of their name? It is… unfortunately… a trick. Or is it? Technically, if you follow the words of your tarot card reading to the letter then it did actually come true! You acted exactly as the stars predicted, but in doing so all you really did was commit a self-fulfilling prophecy. And EVEN if you didn’t follow your daily predictions to the letter but have found that external actions brought you to a place where many if not ALL of the things predicted came true, would that make it real and not a trick? Well unfortunately, that process of evaluation is called confirmation bias. When you want something to be true, you will find ways that it is and ignore other aspects that would say it isn’t, even if you’re not doing it consciously.

Isn’t it easier to understand that non-intelligent patterns exist in the universe, than imagine that elaborate celestial plans are being conducted to bring you love or good fortune? It doesn’t mean you should not get those things, just that if you did, it had nothing to do with the alignment of large object in space. There is one thing I’ll give you in that regard though; apparently rape and murder statistics go up on nights with full moons. We know the tides are caused by the gravitational pull of the moon, so what else could that pull be capable of? Irritation? Perhaps. Regardless, the world is endlessly fascinating without it having to have divine plans behind it, or have it be about you in some way. So with that, I shall say fin!

Thank you again so much for being here. I will endlessly appreciate your time with me. I love you all to no end, and remember to keep thinking!
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Thoughts 35: Late Nights

August 7th, 2020
In episode thirty-five of Thoughts, I talk about late nights in general and their profound effect on our ability of reflection. Enjoy!
https://thejoevan.files.wordpress.com/2020/06/thoughts-35.mp3
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Ending Adolescence

August 3rd, 2020
Adolescence itself is the period following the onset of puberty, during which a young person develops from a child into an adult. We all know about adolescence. Aside from us personally experiencing it, countless coming-of-age movies and shows cover it. Most of the other major life changes are covered as well. Growing up is a thing collectively charted to great detail.

Starting as an only child to then having a sibling is one life stage found in films like Boss Baby and The Tree of Life. Both movies go through all the emotions that come with such an event… in their own way. Other stages are covered like making friends for the first time and navigating elementary school. Then having your first crush, and dramas in your friends’ group. Another is dealing with puberty in all of its insanity! Then one more extensively covered is trying to lose one’s virginity, like in Super Bad. Finally is the aspect of graduating high school with the future world looming over you and your friends.

All of these things cause radical inner turbulence and make for amazing story-telling, but one major life change that I feel gets covered very narrowly, (usually like in a montage,) is the ending of adolescence. Generally, the other major life changes are pretty uniform. First words, first walk, first friends, first day at school, first crush, and puberty; everyone goes through these beats in one way or another, but would it be crazy to think that not everybody passes through the milestone of adulthood completely? We’ve all heard of the people that peeked in high school, or in general I’m sure we’ve all come across adults that make us ashamed to be their peer.

Major societal life milestones are getting a job, getting a house, settling down with a spouse, and having children. While none of these are needed to mature to adulthood, they help par the course. The period of time between leaving school and making your way to independence is a tough road to walk. The future holds so many possible paths. A film that covers this period in its own unique way is The Social Network. But, something stopping this film from being a prime example of one leaving their adolescence for all to lean on is how Zucc has lived; in other words it’s not very relatable.

There are other films out there like the classic: Clerks, that are about young adults in the in between of still being a kid and being middle-aged. If anything, Clerks seems to be the blueprint for such a vague stage of life. We’re given a protagonist that’s down and out on their luck that hasn’t made much of themselves once leaving the nest, if they’ve even done that, and they find themselves stuck at that beginning ADULT milestone on the road of life. Then an inciting incident begins their journey to help them out of said rut. Now the only issue with this premise is that it can apply to any adult from 30 to 60. The new Bill and Ted movie coming out has that exact premise.

So is it just a thing that some people don’t necessarily grow up all the way? Well of course, humans are complicated, and external milestones don’t really tell us if an individual is a mature person per se, just that they did something other people that ARE mature have done. Someone can get a job, a house, get married, and have children, and still be standing at adolescence’s door. So our system at its core isn’t fool proof, but maturing usually means: coming to terms with or understanding our place in society as a whole, deciding in what way we wish to contribute to society, finding a mate or partner to love and parse life’s challenges with (like finding a home), then usually but not always either having children or adopting.

Why are there not more stories being told about the period or stage of all our lives when we leave our nest, or find our career job, or finish college or university? We all go through our twenties with way more variety than we all go through our teens, by the mere situation of our educational system, but its still a period of great growth for us all. Ending adolescence is the internal shift from taking orders to giving them, or from co-dependence to independence. It is the realization of our position as adults in society, no longer in school or under our parents’ rule. Ending adolescence doesn’t mean no longer being able to have fun or act wacky, it just means rising to the task of taking responsibility.

How are you guys, the readers, doing with life? Am I off-base with any of my thoughts on ending adolescence? What was it like for you to shift into adulthood, and when did it happen? Was finding your career a major milestone, or having your first child? Let me know anywhere you can comment! Thank you as always for taking your time to read. I truly appreciate and love you all! I wish you nothing but the best, and until next time, keep on thinkin’!
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Thoughts 34: Fame

July 31st, 2020
In episode thirty-four of Thoughts, I go over the concept and origins of fame and infamy, and how we are all effected by it today. Enjoy!
https://thejoevan.files.wordpress.com/2020/06/thoughts-34.mp3
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Proper Introductions 2020

July 30th, 2020
Hello one and all! Check out my YouTube channel found through this video here or in my CHANNELS page. I’d love to have a conversation with you about any of the topics I’ve talked about, and the others I have yet to! Let me know what you think anywhere you can comment, and enjoy!
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Thoughts 33: Language

July 24th, 2020
In episode thirty-three of Thoughts, I am joined with a guest appearance by Ben from stuffwithben to talk about language! We give our take on what it is and what it means for us as a species. Enjoy!
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SP 59: Context

July 22nd, 2020
Welcome to episode 59 of Joe Van’s Secret Podcast! Today I have on my fifth guest post COVID-19. We waste no time jumping into Ang Lee’s discography, conspiracies- both ludicrous and true, how separation leads to hate, the new viral ‘woke and racist’ skit on Twitter, Oakville’s checkered past AND present, why Canada should not compare itself to America, personal philosophies, and anime. It was a full episode that I’m happy to have had. I hope you enjoy!
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SP 58: What we Observe

July 21st, 2020
Welcome to episode 58 of Joe Van’s Secret Podcast! Today I have my first NEW guest, post COVID-19. We waste no time jumping into heavy topics such as belief, hard concepts that will ne’er have an answer, working to learn how you want to work, and living situations. It was a blast to have him on by the mere earnestness he gives with his opinions, as you’ll hear. Enjoy!
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Tolerance

July 20th, 2020
When you think of tolerance, do you think of physical tolerance, or philosophical tolerance? The capacity to endure continued subjection to something, be it a drug, transplant, antigen, or environmental conditions, without adverse reaction, is physical tolerance. The ability or willingness to forbear something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with, is philosophical tolerance.

What should one tolerate? At high school dances there is a zero alcohol tolerance and that is easily understood at face value. In parenting, the adults must tolerate their children’s lack of understanding of things like table manners. Again without further explanation we all get that kids are wild because they’re in the middle of growing. In american society, people are charged with the task of tolerating injustices to not upset the status quo. Whether from your perspective that means not talking back against PC culture, or not protesting against police brutality toward unsuspecting people of colour, I leave for you to decide, but the one thing that’s clear is perspective plays a huge role in individuals’ capacity for tolerance.

Evangelical Christians are known to have little tolerance towards the idea of homosexuality. Twitter users by the very nature of how Twitter works have little tolerance for nuance. I have little tolerance towards people who think evolution is a lie. And I’m sure you, reader, have certain things that really push your buttons above others. While some people can tolerate almost anything like a zen master, it reveals what having a maximum tolerance achieves, or lack-there-of. In my piece, Importance, I talk about how people should care about things. If they didn’t, we as a species wouldn’t have found the motivation to get out of our caves and innovate! But this drive, though used to currently fight for equality in the western world, is the same drive that gave us religious wars, slavery, genocide, and all other terrible setbacks we as a species have endured because of the will of the powerful.

Civility is the hope for a brighter and more peaceful future in society, but it shouldn’t be expected right now when equality is not yet set. Right now in America, the vast majority of the population are white Christians, which also tracks to political power. If an atheist, Jew, Muslim, Sikh, Buddhist, or Jain tried to run for power, the masses would not vote them in. That shows a clear disparity against the minorities when the will of one group controls the others. The only things keeping Christians from enforcing their specifics beliefs like anti-abortion, anti-gay rights, and so on across America, is the separation of church and state laws. If they were not placed into effect by the country’s founders… America would be a much worse place currently. Now, if you have taken offence by my ragging on Christianity’s place of power in America, I’m sorry. It was not my intention to offend, but merely inform. The western world is currently the most inclusive pair of nations on the planet, but just because it’s not like Saudi Arabia or Japan, does not mean there isn’t still a long way to go with inclusion.

Tolerance by its nature does not spread evenly across a given matrix, it pulls and wanes depending on the population and vigor of groups of people, so all we can do is get it as close as we can to equality without loosing liberty and freedom in the process. Every person deserves a fair start at life. Kids deserve the benefit of the doubt while growing up. Pains deserve a modicum of tolerance before seeking to disband it. And as always, we all deserve love. Thank you for reading. I’ll talk to you guys next time.
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Thoughts 32: The Conflict with Conflict

July 17th, 2020
In episode thirty-two of Thoughts, I talk about how conflict as an entity is fused to the meaning of life. It is what gives us rise whether we like it or not. Enjoy!
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Late Nights

July 13th, 2020
I gave you guys a late night thought of mine in Transient Thoughts, and here I just wanted to talk about late nights in general. They are the time of a 24 hour cycle where most people are asleep. It’s when it’s quietest in your corner of the world, and it’s when deep thoughts can emerge. Free from the pull of work and socializing, we have a chance at reflection. Our thoughts can breathe, with either brevity or torture. It can be a time of great peace, or great melancholy. Though, even under the ever-judging scrutiny of our own mind, late nights wash waves of benign calm across our brows, soothing any hard edges. Its ability on us is undeniable. Should we bathe in the glow of our computer screens, or walk under the pale moon light? Do we reminisce on the past, or ponder the possible future, regardless of what may come in the morning to follow?

Work, studies, exams, trials, or tribulations are not found in the moments of peace formed from the late nights, instead we get a chance to just breathe. The peace hark like a light cast to the dark sea, that we are indeed here. We are conscious. We are alive. Our past has gone and our future is unseen. Our time is limited, but in the moment it is infinite. In the moment, we are present with the buildings and the birds and the trees and the wind. The universe has been here long before us and will long outlast us, but in the moment, we are both here, together. Tomorrow we may be gone, but not now yet. No. Here, we find ourselves. Here we be, for an unforeseen moment more, and in it we can think about our place. Should we only do right with our time. Time will tell.

Thank you as always for giving me the opportunity of your eyes. I appreciate your time, and hope for you nothing less than love and peace.
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Thoughts 31: Halo

July 10th, 2020
In episode thirty-one of Thoughts, I talk about my experience with the video game franchise: Halo. Enjoy!
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Joe Van Recommends

July 8th, 2020
Hey everybody! It’s ya boy, Joe Van, comin’ back at ya with another piece, but this one’s different from the rest. In this piece I wanted to recommend some YouTube channels to you guys. These channels are ones I’ve come across over years of binge-watching YouTuber content. So, they’ll come in no particular order, but their subjects will be similar. That’s how I’ll categorize it. First, I will recommend movie review channels!

Up front you got YMS, or YourMovieSucksDOTorg; Canada represent. He’s got a voice you either love or hate, so in that regard it’s a coin toss, but he is honestly one of the better movie review channels out there. You can tell he’s got a naturally high intelligence, and he uses that gift to critique movies, so on behalf of cinephiles everywhere, thank you for your service.

Next up we got ralphthemoviemaker. He’s young but sharp, and has a surprising eye for artistic expression. You’d think with his accent he’d just be a ‘fuckin’ bada-bing bada-boom!’ kind of guy, only interested in Scorsese films, and he is, but he also an entire universe more than that. Same goes with IHE, or I Hate Everything. You figure because of his YouTube channel’s name he would be just a pure cynic, but he’s really not at all.

Next we got Elvis The Alien. This guy smokes weed, and loves Nic Cage. ‘Nuff said. Following the alien we got Chris Stuckmann, a man that will to no end ask you to, ‘click right here… to get Stuckmannized.’ Georg Rockall-Schmidt is a dimly-lit, dry-witted reviewer of films both new and old. We also have Mr Sunday Movies, a duo that mostly, or only, cover pop culture movies like super hero movies. Same with The Cosmonaut Variety Hour.

Following that lot we got channels like, Like Stories of Old, and Renegade Cut. These pair cover movies through a deeply philosophical lens; not that the other channels can’t do that on occasion, but these channels make it their mission to only do that. It helps them separate themselves from the lot too, so all the power to them. Finally my only female recommendation, which is unfortunate but that aside, Lindsay Ellis. She covers other things like a lot of these channels but she’s known for me with her review of The Hobbit movies, specifically. That, and her take on Game of Thrones. Her basic style is based on her personality, like the rest of the creators. Aside for covering a niche, the big pull for any creator is their tone or more simply just their voice, and these people got me. I’m in, I wanna hear what they got to say.

Following that list I’ll now go over Halo channels! I’ll make this one quick because they all give the same thing more or less. Though they’re not all relegated to just covering Halo, ya got The Act Man, and HiddenXperia: men of culture. Installation00 has a brain he can sit in. Ultimate Halo is a youngin’ but one bursting with charisma. Aozolai, UberNick, and Sean W also got that charm going for them, bringing people back for more. Then you got Owl, KevinKoolx, Rejected Shotgun, Rocket Sloth, and Halo Cannon that house enough good content to make them ones to return to. Now, instead of getting into it I’ll just say I made sure to NOT add Late Night Gaming because of drama between him and Aozolai, and that’s it! That’s all I’m saying on that.

Moving on, we have scientific/philosophical YouTube channels! We have the likes of exurb1a, a mad lad that slices science and philosophy with comedy in little YouTube skits, while also being in general a writer.

Next we have John Michael Godier who’s the kind of guy to put you to sleep faster than anesthesia! But man, the guy puts out some interesting videos. He’s a sci-fi writer that basically goes over scary possibilities of the universe and what it holds, among other things.

Now for the final burst you got TED, Physics Girl, Thoughty2, Veritasium, Vsauce, RealLifeLore, and LEMMiNO. These guys are my absolute favorite channels on science! They each have their own voice, style, questions, and presentation to their works. Obviously TED is bigger than YouTube but they still apply for my recommendation.

So there you have it! Joe Van has now recommended some YouTube channels for you to check out if you haven’t already. I hope y’all were receptive to this! Let me know if there are other subjects you’d want me to cover in another recommends piece, but until next time, I love you all, and keep on thinking. See ya!
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Fame

July 6th, 2020
Shamans and heroes! Serial killers and singers! Fame. The subject of fame is cool as hell because it’s one of those other things that’s completely unique to humans. It’s the state of being known or talked about by many people, especially on account of notable achievements. People the world over know who Tom Cruise is. It doesn’t matter if they’re young, old, rich, or poor. So where did this kind of thing come from? What are its humble beginnings?

There’s a term called altruism that is the belief in or practice of selfless concern for the well-being of others. In ancient times when our ancestors practiced in the life of hunters and gatherers, the hunters would often find themselves in dangerous scenarios. For example, we can imagine an encounter where a sabre-toothed cat. (BIG side note here but apparently the term ‘sabre-toothed tiger’ is incorrect, and even sabre-toothed cat is close to a misnomer {a wrong or inaccurate name or designation} where the sabre-toothed thing’s genetic lineage is actually closest to marsupials! {like kangeroos or opossums!} But that’s niether here nor there.) In ancient Canada, a tribe of humans would typically scatter away at the sight of a sabre-toothed cat, hoping the predator wouldn’t chase them from the others. But now imagine a man at the back of the pack, noticing their son or best friend at the front… and in that moment the man decided to run toward the beast, sacrificing his life to save the life of the others. The man would indeed most likely die from this encounter, and the hunters that returned would hail praises at the man’s altruism, or heroics. They knew of no such words then, but the rare ideal to strive towards would have been set in the tribe.

As once something that no one yet knew they could be, the idea of a hero set itself upon civilization. Tribes that never met would all have similar encounters of singing praises to one doing something selfless, through pure chance, before it became ingrained into humanity’s conscience as a whole. But, as we are social creatures of all different brain chemistrys’, tricksters too would come out of the woodwork. After all, many heroes perform feats of greatness and live to tell the tale, and tales are so easy to fabricate, so these tellers of tall tales would sow seeds of grandiosity to anyone that would hear it and do what they could to swindle those around them. Everyone wants to be a hero, but not everyone has the courage or opportunity to excel themselves to that status level.

Now, there were other forms of fame that spread word across the lands of early civilization, and those were the opposite of heroes: those were the monsters. Ones to fear, that killed women and babies, or performed cannibalism. These individuals had tribes across the land warn all they could of their evil deeds. As time moved on, both leaders, inventors, and killers were talked about by the masses across even larger stretches of land. To be famous was a thing people of all walks of life could achieve if only they were loud enough. Before long, entertainment grew in popularity. What was once something localized to theatres or circuses, entertainers could now be found at every city with a nickelodeon. (Not to be confused with the children’s channel owned by ViacomCBS, a ‘nickel odeon’ was what existed to show citizens motion pictures before movie theatres became commonplace.) Great dancers, singers, and actors stole the hearts of millions with their performances. It wasn’t long before Hollywood changed who we considered famous.

Infamy through wrong-doing hadn’t changed in the slightest since the concept’s birth, but fame was now for the taking by anyone talented or attractive enough. Interestingly, though, since the popularization of reality television in the 80’s and 90’s to what it’s become now, for one to be famous, you need only be a fucking wreck of a human being. Okay, that’s probably not granted. There’s tons of reality T.V. that shows decent people living their life or completing difficult puzzles, but so much emphasis has been put on people living their life wrong now-a-days like in 90 Day Fiancée. It has become something people love watching, and it’s clear to understand why. One might think, ‘my life might be subpar in my eyes but at least it’s not as bad as this person.’ Watching people be absolute disgraces is like a confidence booster! It feels good to know you’re better than someone else, that’s just how our brains work. It’s probably why jesters were such a hit for royalty back in the day. If the king wanted to de-stress from a long day of making potentially wrong decisions, he could just watch an idiot bumble around.

You could have thousands or even millions of people notice you on the street because of your career choices. You could be noticed as someone great, someone silly, someone disgraceful, or someone dangerous. You could choose to be someone famous, or it could happen against your will. You could be someone who thrives from all the attention, or someone who crumbles from it. Alternatively, you could be someone who seeks fame your whole life but never gets it. Fame, as stated at the beginning, is a uniquely human trait. Our closest genetic cousins, chimpanzees, hold many similarities to us like social class and war but even they do not register fame. Fame is a part of the language game. It’s the retelling of an individual without them there, be it for good or ill. It’s the recognition of someone’s existence without their recognition of yours. It’s the masses’ acknowledgement.

Do you want to be famous? Why or why not? Let me know! Thank you again for stopping by. I love you all, and I’ll see you next time.
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Thoughts 30: Love

July 3rd, 2020
In episode thirty of Thoughts I gush about love! Oh what a thing to be captured by. Enjoy!
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Language

July 1st, 2020
At my elementary school, when you rose to grade five, you were inducted to the fictional island of Foo. You learned their language and pastime sports, and near the end of the year you would compete with your peers to claim victory in each category. That was the first and only time I truly learned another language. All you had to do was add ‘INIG’ in front of every spoken vowel. Hinigellinigo, minigy ninigame inigis Jinigoe. It was really cool to have an understanding of a different mode of communication than the one you were raised with. Don’t get my educational system wrong though, I was taught French from grade four to nine, but it didn’t stick in the slightest. My theory as to why, aside from me not paying enough attention, was because their sentences are reversed. So aside from having to learn every basic word in their dictionary, you also had to learn how to form sentences in a completely different way than what your brain was automated to do.

Language is a trippy thing. Think of how you would form thoughts without it. Think about trying to understand someone else without it. It’s downright impossible. Babies want things but have yet to learn language, and look at how hard it is to find out what they want when they cry. Same with dogs. “What’s that, girl? Timmy’s stuck in the well?!” Our entire civilization depends on our ability to communicate thoughts to each other using the best means we have. Certain academics use the phrase ‘language game,’ when they talk about how we are all using words in society. Is there a possibility that in the future we will outgrow language for something more streamline like telepathy?

It is known that the German language has a word for almost everything. Whenever we, the English speakers, find ourselves unable to find the right words to express a feeling or idea, the best we can do is combine other words. It never quite works the same as having the right word. There is another phrase used when talking about potential advanced A.G.I. (artificial general intelligence) called a ‘black box.’ It is used to describe how we are all living now, never truly knowing what everyone else is thinking. Our only window into another individual’s mind is their own ability and… permission?- allowance- for us to bear witness of their raw thoughts. Otherwise we truly have no idea what is going on behind their eyes.

Now we must ask, what in the world would we as a species do in the unlikely event that aliens really visited Earth? Would we say hi? Hola? Salute? Would we attempt communication through Morse code? What if they only communicated through dance? Or in reversed meaning, where happy was sad and peace meant war? What if they only communicated through dreams, acting aberrant and uncooperative in waking life if you tried to do anything otherwise not talked about beforehand? Our brains formed solely through Earth’s evolution, from scratch. Alien life could have radically different minds if they even resembled Earth-like organisms.

Language is what built the life we have now. As a society, talking to each other built us up to being technologically advanced. It allowed collaboration of nations, democracy, infrastructure, and general stability. But just like the internet, language as a tool is a double-edged blade. It can grant us the best possible life in our individual situations, but it can also give us great pain. Sticks and stones may break my bones, AND words do also hurt me. It’s scary how effective words can hurt us. We have no ability to stop hearing things in front of us. Sound enters our ears and our brain computes it into meaning (if we know the language) and there’s nothing we can do about it. We have the ability to use our words for ill, or for good. It is up to us how we use it, and how we react.

With that in mind, I suggest we put in the effort, or attention, to use our words for better. Thank you again as always for reading. I love you all! And I’ll see you next time.
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Thoughts 29: Strength and Power

June 29th, 2020
In episode twenty-nine of Thoughts, I go over the MANY different definitions of strength, and discuss how power plays into strength. Enjoy!
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The Conflict with Conflict

June 28th, 2020
Does life need conflict? More specifically, do humans need conflict in our lives to keep things interesting? Just look at animals in zoos for Pete’s sake. They got no worries in the world, but also nothing to do. Good stories certainly need conflict. And states of higher consciousness or enlightenment are merely momentary, so it leads one to wonder what our resting place is. We try so hard with everything we do to not try so hard with everything we do. New inventions are created to help us relax more and struggle less, but it has yet to bring people any kind of lasting peace. People are just as mired now in conflict as they were a thousand years ago. Life has definitely improved where we don’t need to be in physical pain all the time anymore, but our resting mental state is still one that looks for conflict to fuck with. It doesn’t matter how much we meditate, pray, or fast, if someone less enlightened than us fucks with our shit, it’ll work. Our shit’ll get fucked up. And those people will always come. As a species we are only as strong as our weakest link.

Even if we spend the next hundred years working as hard as we can to bring everyone to a place of proposed peace, what would happen if we got there? Nothing would happen, really. And then what would be the point of all our lives? Everything would be so docile. Our goal is one we strive towards, but in actuality is one we maybe cannot obtain. Like passing the speed of light, it is something we can only pursue. It’s similar to the idea of living forever. We all strive to live as long as possible, but no one really wants to live forever. It would strip away the meaning of life from us. And so, that is the conflict with conflict. We kind of need it, if only mildly. Though it can suck and hurt, conflict also gives us purpose.

I hope you guys have a great, exciting day. Thank you for reading. I love you all, and I’ll see you next time.
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Thoughts 28: Follies of Consciousness

June 26th, 2020
In episode twenty-eight of Thoughts, I talk about the follies of consciousness and what we do with our understanding of them. Enjoy!
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Halo

June 24th, 2020
When you first saw Halo, were you blinded by its majesty? Before I jump into the video game that I’m actually referring to, let’s cover the other uses of the word. A halo is a disk or circle of light shown surrounding or above the head of a saint or holy person to represent their holiness. It’s also a circle of white or colored light around the sun, moon, or other luminous body caused by refraction through ice crystals in the atmosphere. Synonyms of halos are rings, belts, or bands.

So with that out of the way, let’s talk about the video game franchise. I could honestly make my YouTube channel a Halo channel, I love it so much. I’m honestly kind of annoyed at how much emotional power it has over me. The latest game is set to launch at the end of this year of our forerunners 2020 and I’ve been checking the r/halo Reddit every day since E3 2019. It’s sickly, guy, I’m a mess. So when did my love of these games start?

Growing up, my family was a Nintendo household and I loved it. I had the N64, the Game Boy Pocket, and then the GameCube and Wii when they came out. I didn’t even hear about Halo until grade nine, which for me was 2007. I made a new friend who came over to my place one day after school and we played Super Smash Bros. His reaction to it was honestly insulting. He ragged on the fact that it was a platformer and had inferior graphics to Call of Duty. He had just recently got an Xbox 360 with its new high definition graphics so my Wii couldn’t compare. After a few days of mulling it over, he decided to give me his old Xbox so that I could have a real gaming experience! I was beyond grateful. The only game he gave me with it was Halo: Combat Evolved. Everyone talks about this so I get how its not a unique experience, but when I started the second level and looked up for the first time, I was blinded by Halo’s majesty! I was in awe, and I was hooked. I remember getting my first legal job at 15 just so I could buy an Xbox 360, which I did, then I quit. I wasn’t really money oriented at that time.

So now for the people who’ve never played Halo, let me quickly break down it’s story. 500 years from now, humans take to the stars with slipspace engines that let them go father than we currently can, and with it we inhabit like hundreds of planets. After some wars between the UNSC and insurrectionists, our farthest out Planet, Harvest, makes contact with aliens for the first time. They’re called the Covenant; a collection of different species all working together to uncover artifacts of a long dead OTHER alien race that they revere as gods. So, side note, but why was humanity not inscribed into the covenant? It’s probably mentioned in a book, who knows.

The first game Halo starts in the middle of our space war with the aliens, and we’re losing. The Covenant has far superior weaponry than us so we never really had a chance. The ship you’re in comes out of slipspace after running away from the last planet we’ve inhabited aside from Earth. You play as John 117, better known as the Master Chief: his military rank, alongside Cortana as a chip in your head, Captain Keyes, Sargent Johnson, and Echo 419. You wake up to find that the ship you’re in has come across some kind of giant artificial planet in the shape of a ‘Halo.’ The aliens are on your tail so you descend onto the ring and fight on the ground. After discovering the Halo is a part of the alien’s religion, you seek to control it, later discovering that the ring is actually a giant weapon made by the ‘forerunners’ to wipe out all life in order to starve ANOTHER, parasitic alien species called the flood. Bingo bango, you blow up the Halo to save all life.

Second game brings you back to humanity where we’re still in the middle of losing. We get introduced to the Arbiter, an alien ship master that lost to you in the first game and must now make penance. As it turns out, the Covenant have no idea that firing the Halo will kill them all. They think it’ll teleport them to heaven or something. Meanwhile with the Master Chief, an alien fleet found Earth. Lucky for us, for the first time in a long time, we outnumber them, and force them to retreat into slipspace. You follow them this time and when y’all get out of slipspace, wouldn’t you know it but you’re at another Halo. You fight to destroy the aliens’ leaders but get picked up by an intelligent form of the flood, that instead of consuming you, convinces both you and the Arbiter to work with it to stop the Covenant from firing the ring. You do that and head back to Earth.

Third game has you back at Earth where the aliens are gaining the upper hand, but they also seem to be digging some structure up in Africa. You fight your best but run out of time as the aliens activate this forerunner device, creating a portal. They go through it and you follow. It leads to a Halo MAKER called the Ark. On the Ark, the Covenant can activate all the Halos scattered throughout the galaxy so you gotta stop them. You do, then save Cortana who got mixed up with the flood dude, blow up ANOTHER Halo and skip dodge as shit blows up. You nearly die but make it out only to be floating in a random part of space for an unforeseen amount of time.

There’s a lot I left out there but that’s the gist of the original trilogy that everyone loves. Years later, after I had played the prequel and spin off games, I headed to College. At this point a brand new Halo 4 was announced! I was excited for it but also nervous. It was the first new game by 343, who took the mantle of responsibility by Bungie, who had done 1-3, ODST, and the prequel. Would they continue Master Chief and Cortana’s story in a good direction? The game came out to mixed reviews by fans. Some loved it, some hated it. Most people hated the multiplayer because it copied Call of Duty’s load out system, and I agree to that point but didn’t care at the time. The only thing that grinded my gears was the Prometheans. They were a new robot-esque enemy to fight along with the Covenant, and they just aren’t good, man. Like, the Covenant are living things. Each species have their own history for how they ended up in the Covenant, and the faceless robots don’t have jack. Suffice to say, it didn’t feel like the same caliber of games as the O.G.s. At that point in my life I began to lean off of playing video games, for one reason or another, and the new Xbox One came out so I simply passed on the next Halo game that came to the system.

Halo 5: Guardians continued Master Chief’s story. In my mind they used that subtitle, Guardians, to lean off of numbers like they have now done with Halo 6. It’s been a marketing strategy used by other studios like Ubisoft with the Assassin’s Creed games. I’m not against it, but just thought I’d note it for y’all. Now, the story of Halo 5. Oie. Again, my opinions here aren’t unique but damn did they do Cortana dirty! And Buck (you don’t know him from me but he’s great,) but most of all, they did Chief dirty! They had such a bad writer come on to do this game. Like, guys! The reason people like Halo is because of its story! I mean, all of the other elements need to work too like the music, graphics, game play, multiplayer UI and so on and such, but the story is the hook! Anyway, at this point I wasn’t with it anymore. It sucked because I really loved the story. It kind of hurt not continuing with the franchise.

After many years passed, I started a relationship with the most gorgeous woman on the planet, and during Black Friday of 2018, she suggested I get a Nintendo Switch. It had been so long since I actually played video games, but now I wouldn’t be playing alone. It would be like my childhood when my siblings, cousins, and I played Mario Party and Mario Kart. So I got it, and really quickly got into the Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. I’d never been much of an open world player, but BotW on IP alone sucked me in. I was in love again with a gaming franchise! It wasn’t even a year later that I made up my mind that I was going to buy an Xbox One. I did so, buying the Master Chief Collection and Halo 5. I got Game Pass for a number of months and played Halo Wars 2 through that, and may I say, it was great. I’d say I was right at least to wait, because apparently MCC and Halo 5 at launch had HUGE problems. I never had to suffer any of it, luckily. The MCC has been going through new glitches as 343 ports every game to PC, but it gives me little grief knowing it isn’t permanent.

So there you have it! My time with Halo. The newest game is on the horizon (a potential end to 343’s trilogy) and they have decided to go back to Bungie’s art design. It has a lot of people happy, myself included, making this year not CONCLUDE quick enough! Is my love of this franchise a bit much? I’d say so. But hey, everybody’s gotta have a thing, right? For some people it’s religion, for some it’s sports, others it’s Star Wars, and me in part it’s Halo. Will all my dreams be answered from the new game? I figure, yeah. Whether or not it’s good like Halo 3 or bad like Halo 5, I just want the thing out so I can decide once and for all if 343’s a botch studio. Either way I’ll still give it 80+ hours of playtime/my life. One thing I’m wondering is what the fate of the Master Chief will be? If he’s continues on after this game’s campaign I feel like it might dull his appeal. That’s probably what they’ll do, but our boy is getting old! If he were to die or retire or something, it would feel granted in my mind. Let him rest I say, and give him a nice send off.

But any who! With that, I’d say my thought piece is finished. It’s done. Halo is one of those franchises deserving of its place in pop culture because of its rich story universe. There are endless books to read, forums to pose questions and theories on, and movies/shows to watch. What do you guys think will happen in Halo Infinite? Let me know! Thank you for reading and until next time, wake me when you need me.
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Thoughts 27: Determinism

June 22nd, 2020
In episode twenty-seven of Thoughts, I dive deep into the philosophical standpoint of Determinism. Is it the truth of reality? One must make up their own mind. Enjoy!
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Love

June 21st, 2020
Love is compassion and attraction. It’s kindness and well wishes. It’s hidden magic, being in it, and something worth fighting for. If life is a game, love is the prize! It’s the one thing everyone wants. But does true love really exist? Sorry to keep playing the word game with you guys, but let’s look at what love is defined as, then what we understand it as. Love according to Google is an intense feeling of deep affection. I wouldn’t personally use those words to describe love, but that’s the definition. I’d say that’s definitely a type of love, but I’ve understood love in my life to be an unbreakable bond. It can waver, but exists as an absolute. No matter how much my dog might annoy me, I’ll always love him. Even if my family becomes estranged, I will still love them. In saying that, I feel like my dad and I never had love, so just because he’s my family there was never an initial love to tether the storm he brought upon my family. There can be other variables to your family not being people you should love, like if they are abusive, but usually families are the people you will always have in your life. And so, if you want to live a good life, you must love your family accordingly, if only at first for personal harmony.

There are many forms of love. You have the above mentioned familial love which can extend to friendship love, then you have general love for humankind, or a sports team, or your country, or some other form of people you will never meet per se. Then you have a deep ass love. That’s the meaning of life kind of love. Deeper than any love you could have otherwise. This type of love might actually branch to best friends, depending, but is usually reserved for a romantic life partner, and for your children. This is the love that keeps giving. It’s the daily love and drive of one’s existence. Ain’t no love like a lifetime love! It’s the number one love sought after by most. For this reason, so many people jump into marriages and end up divorced because it’s not what they thought it would be. Love still takes work. It’s not some unconditional coddling of a parent figure, it takes two. Expectations usually ruin relationships, like: poor communications that make one believe the partnership was going to be one way and ended up another way completely. This can also happen because people are still growing and they might end up becoming a different person than the other thought they would have for life.

Love is love. What can I say? Does true love exist? It does depending on the person. The thing comes in so many forms. How about I give you guys some fun facts at the end here. Did you know the shape of a cartoon heart is two real hearts together? Another one! Did you know that kissing was invented as a greeting, and later became incorporated as a romantic gesture? Before this it’s hypothesized that cave people we would sniff each other if they were romantically interested. Another fun fact, the drug of love that most people feel when they meet someone new that’s cute (hot) is an actual chemical, known as oxytocin. Oxytocin, not to be confused with oxycodone the pharmaceutical drug, releases naturally when we social bond. It becomes active during pregnancy too and plays a role in post birth for breast feeding, for some reason. It also has a negative side effect known as jealousy. The feeling of jealous is this hormone.

So there you have it! My weird take on love. It’s the best of things, it at times can be the worst of things like when you’re love sick with a crush you’re too shy to talk to. But either way, it’s undeniably us. Thank you so much again for reading. I freakin’ LOVE you all, and I’ll see you next time. Stay lovely!
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Thoughts 26: Fear

June 19th, 2020
In episode twenty-six of Thoughts, I discuss the sensation of fear, where it came from, why it lives within us and what one does with it. Enjoy!
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Thoughts 25: The Good Life

June 15th, 2020
In milestone episode twenty-five of Thoughts, I discuss the pursuit of happiness and how to live a generally good life. Enjoy!
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Thoughts 24: Time

June 12th, 2020
In episode twenty-four of Thoughts, I go over time in all of its complicated simplicity as it draws us ever forward. Enjoy!
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Thoughts 23: Substance Abuse

June 8th, 2020
In episode twenty-three of Thoughts I go over the heavy subject of substance abuse, what factors play into how it develops and how breaking through mental walls is all part of living a better life. Enjoy!
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Thoughts 22: Identities

June 5th, 2020
In episode twenty-two of Thoughts, I talk about the concept of identity, what it is, what it means, where it could come from, and what we make of it. Enjoy!
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Determinism

June 3rd, 2020
Is determinism the truth of reality? For starters, what is the idea of determinism and what are its counters? Determinism is the philosophical belief that all events are determined completely by previously existing causes. Causal determinism in physics is known as cause-and-effect. It is the concept that events within a given paradigm are bound by causality in such a way that any state (of an object or event) is completely determined by prior states.

Now, there are two main counter philosophies: indeterminism, and predeterminism. In science, most specifically quantum theory in physics, indeterminism is the belief that no event is certain and the entire outcome of anything is probabilistic. Predeterminism to determinism is like Christianity to Catholicism. It’s the philosophy that all events of history, past, present and future, have been already decided or are already known (by God, fate, or some other force), including human actions. It implies that there is a conscious reason behind every event and a story to tell. Determinism tells no such story, other than: events happen because the previous thing happened.

When talking about determinism we have to start with the human aspect. Humans are us. Humans are smart. We develop our minds over time and grow in autonomy. This shift, from complete dependency as babies and children to general independence within society as adults, is the reason most of us think we have freewill. As youngin’s we have almost no control. Then we go through a ‘mine’ phase. Slowly we develop friendships, like with our cousins, fellow neighbourhood kids and classmates. It teaches us that there are others just like us and we should consider that in our actions, but we maintain holding on to our confused idea of control. It doesn’t help that most religions teach this too. To give the example of Christianity, they teach BOTH that we have free will so it is on us if we sin or not, but then completely contradict that idea by saying everything that happens both big and small are all a part of God’s plan. If every action you take, both big and small, are preordained through God’s plan, then you don’t have freewill. You’re actions are prepared and carried out as part of HIS will, not yours.

In the realm of science, freewill is proposed to exist in the multiverse theory. To extrapolate, if we are to choose left or right, two timelines branch out. We exist in the one where we chose, say, left and an alternate version of us exists in the other universe where we chose right. The issue with this idea is, how and what would constitute this branching process to happen in the universe? Are human minds so powerful that we rip portals in the fabric of spacetime, creating two universes to house the alternate choice? Isn’t it easier to propose that there is no alternate universe where you chose right instead of left? Because how did you chose something different? Let’s take a step back from where you chose left. What precursors lead your mind to make that decision? You might say nothing, that no influence affected that decision and you just thought about either or, and came to the decision of left through your freewill. People think they have way more control over themselves than they actually do. We are influenced by how other people treat us, both strangers and loved ones. We are influenced by childhood nostalgia and traumas. We are influenced by self reflection, and responsibilities. We are influenced by our diet, the last time we were sexually active, and literally every other factor. Were you stressed when you made this decision, or calm? Were you aware of the importance of the decision, or was it inconsequential? These factors will lead your mind to making the decision you make. If it is said as, not that our minds cause this branching phenomenon, but every interaction both human related and not human related have equal and opposite reactions in the infinite multiverse, then to that I say Occam’s razor. I understand quantum physics is trippy as hell, and when attempting to observe interactions we notice how particles can be in two places at once until we look at them (superposition). But what are the chances that reality in this regard is ‘boring’ and it just seems that way, and the particles are actually always only in one position?

A natural disaster like a flood is something that, in theory, we could predict days, months, or even years beforehand according to causality. All we would need is an entity like a computer to calculate every atom on Earth and beyond that would influence the weather. Today, we as a species have created a golfer robot that can calculate distance and wind to make a perfect hole in one, every time. What does this golfer robot tell us about how the universe works? It tells us that we live in a deterministic universe. That every action has a reaction, and that in theory we can predict these future actions because of the fact that they are determined through previous actions. Predeterminism or destiny is like the romanticized version of this. The only thing that makes reality a little colder than the idea of destiny is that, what is destined has no promised growing element to it. Imagine villagers who live under a volcano and one day it suddenly erupts. The villagers are destined to die, both adults and children. There is no sense to be made of it. It was just an awful event. Meaning comes from us because, to our core, we are social and pattern seeking. So we’ll say things like, ‘that terrible thing happened to those villagers to teach US not to live under volcanoes.’ And that’s fine, but it’s important not to be confused about the matter of fact.

The world isn’t cruel because of natural disasters. It isn’t cold because of evolution leading to predator and prey species. It just is. Racists, rapists, and murderers will always exist due to mismanaged human nature, but does that make what these people do non-committible offences? Of course not. It’s still actions against humanity. People who use that as an argument to the absurdity of determinism are as confused as those obsessed with control. The principle factor of punishing people has nothing to do with whether or not they were in complete control of their actions, it has to do with whether or not they committed the action. Our systems of punishment just need to be updated to accommodate the fact that people are crazy AND need to be jailed.

Is it more important to be deluded and happy, or aware and sad? I say it really shouldn’t be up to those two things. Sugar coating is fine in moments of emotional distress, but we as a species should overall have the same understanding of what the real world is and find a way to be okay with it. Santa is not real, but it still feels good to think we are being rewarded by our good deeds. Events happen with no teaching behind it, but we can still find silver linings without having to say ‘it happened as a part of God’s plan.’ Happiness and good will exist with or without a world view of us being in control or us being coddled by cosmic parents. Like I said earlier, to our core we are social. That’s where morality comes from. That’s where true happiness is found, in relationship with those around us.

Being kind and finding peace are not exclusive to predeterminism (kindness) or indeterminism (freewill/peace). We can understand what happens was always going to happen, without a story to it, and still be good people at the end of the day. It’s not paradoxical to understand freewill is an illusion AND understand your choices still matter. Being self aware of determinism ought not give you supposed free rein to act like a fool, but I mean, act however you want. Your reaction to these ideas was always going to be what it was, without cosmic good or bad intentions behind it. How to live a life with meaning ought to come from your own PERSONAL idea of your life and your place in others’ lives. Even if it’s not real, it still comes from collected, agreed upon perceived places of control. The concept of karma is interesting in this regard because it’s like karma does exist to a fault within society. If you’re a dingus, people will catch on and treat you bad in return. Karma, bitch. But that doesn’t extend to nature, meaning it’s not a fundamental law of reality.

When it comes down to me concluding this thought piece, think whatever you want about reality because the only ACTUAL important thing is that we all treat each other good. Even if you are confused about reality, so long as you aren’t hurting anyone, you’re doing a-okay. Security, harmony, and peace are the truly important things in life. It’s only once you have those, can these aspects of philosophy become something worth diving into. If you guys don’t know about the motivational psychological theory of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, it goes as such:

As always, thank you guys so much for being here! I love y’as, and I will see y’all next time.
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Thoughts 21: Dyson Spheres

June 1st, 2020
In episode twenty-one of Thoughts, I talk about the theory of Dyson Spheres, their potential origin in myth, and what it means for us looking out in the universe. Enjoy!
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Thoughts 20: Sexuality

May 29th, 2020
In episode twenty of Thoughts, I talk about the nature of sexuality and our relationship with it. Enjoy!
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Thoughts 19: Melancholy Flower Infinite

May 25th, 2020
In episode nineteen of Thoughts, I wax poetic about our understanding of existence and how little we will ever know. Enjoy!
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Thoughts 18: Attention

May 22nd, 2020
In episode eighteen of Thoughts, I talk about attention and what makes us give it. Enjoy!
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Album Covers of our Cosmos

May 20th, 2020
This is visual poetry, not brought to you by myself but by NASA. I just thought I’d share it on my website. These images have been rendered in all their beauty for free to the general public; the ones below are my favourites of the bunch. You can find all of the posters by searching ‘Posters of the Solar System’. Enjoy!
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Thoughts 17: Imagine

May 18th, 2020
In episode seventeen of Thoughts, I talk about a hypothetical blob entity that exists within all of us. Enjoy!
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The Good Life

May 17th, 2020
What constitutes living a good life? While individual happiness is particular to each person, general well being is quantifiable. A good life includes a healthy diet, or healthy enough for you to still enjoy what you’re eating, a moderate fitness regiment, an open dialogue with your inner circle of loved ones, and having a life purpose. I touched on how life purpose and moderation lead to longevity in my piece: Longevity, but in this thought piece I wanted to touch on the particular issue of the pursuit of happiness, and how so many people seem to be lacking general happiness in their daily life.

I’m sure you’ve all heard the golden advice: manage your expectations, but in what way can we apply this concept to our daily lives? We can’t help but want things, so how are we suppose to trick ourselves into not minding if we don’t get said things? A strange thing about the mind is the subconscious. It directs our emotions, knee-jerk reactions, dreams, and general worldview. People born in a third world country are people who have only known that life. They want far less than us and would be far happier to receive even a sliver of what we consume regularly. They may have a general sense that life ought to be more, but most people simply accept every day as another gift to be alive. Somehow, hardships make individuals extremely appreciative. People tend to strive after undergoing something hard. It doesn’t mean you HAVE to suffer in order to be happier with what you have, but simply being self aware makes a big difference.

I’ve mentioned this before, but one of the greatest things to happen to me in my life was when I had a slipped disc. At the time it was just awful and misery-inducing, but afterward I couldn’t help but feel more alive than ever. I was inspired to write! I didn’t know in what medium then, but I knew things would never be the same. I’ve also had other accounts of difficulties, (not to be compared to anyone else of course but just to use as examples,) of having an ego death after taking too many magic mushrooms, falling into a K-hole, and having my already half-absent father leave my family. My most recent difficulty was quitting drinking, and since then I couldn’t be happier with my life. It’s made me more honest than ever after admitting to everyone that I had a secret addiction. Regardless of the current quarantine Canada is under, every day in my eyes has been like glistening golden honey under a shining sun.

So to expand on the idea of being honest, secrecy is a unique form of internal toxicity that no one can truly manage. Sociopaths are the best at lying and then sleeping like a baby, but it doesn’t mean their existence isn’t torture. Living double, triple, quadruple or whatever-the-heck lives makes a mess of your unseen subconscious. Honesty will set you free, as many have said over the ages. It may seem like telling the truth is impossible. I mean, why mention things from years ago when the person never found out? Because it may be eating YOU inside. Could honesty ruin relationships? Yes. But if you truly seek happiness, you must let it go.

I’m not yet thirty, so proper life advice can’t really come from me. It doesn’t mean that I haven’t discovered certain insights into the human condition, though. Even back when I was a teenager, I remember uncovering elements of the mind that struck me as such an easy thing to care for yet so many people seemed to have problems with. The difference time makes to insights, I have found, is coherence. It is the difference of information, to knowledge, to wisdom. So I still very much have growing to do, but for now just remember that your own happiness is predicated off of your ability to look inward and see what you can see that may be hindering daily harmony. Thank you as always for reading. I love you, and I’ll see you next time.
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Thoughts 16: 12 Certainties and Suggestions

May 15th, 2020
In episode sixteen of Thoughts, I lay out my list of the twelve certainties and suggestions about reality as a human on Earth in our lifetime… just to be specific. Enjoy!
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Time

May 13th, 2020
What is time? I’ll let you guys answer this one. For real, I’ll wait… and wait… and wait. Even if it takes a lifetime. Even when the stars burn out and matter is dissipated into a heat death of the universe. All will be dark, but you’ll still have time. Time is known to do things, like heal, be cruel, teach us lessons, and fade the past away. Time is fast when you want it to be slow, and slow when you want it to be fast. Time is a clock on the wall, and it is made up. Now you might say, ‘Made up, eh? What’re you talking about?’ Time, as a unit of measurement, is arbitrary! Seconds are just something we made up. If we wanted, tomorrow the UN could declare that one second will now be the length of two seconds, and nothing in the universe would change. We would all live with thirty-second minutes, that’s all.

Time as defined by Google is the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole. The truth about reality is in that PROGRESS bit. The motion of molecules are what we perceive as time. Time began at the Big Bang, according to the theory of the Big Bang. It leads one to wonder if maybe time needs matter to exist? Like time and matter are two sides to a coin; one cannot exist without the other. If we were to freeze time, we wouldn’t actually be able to gallivant around. There are examples in media of people doing this, like freezing time and stealing from banks, art museums, and such, but the movement of molecules are required for aspects like solid objects. If we stopped things from vibrating closely together, we’d fall through it. Or more so, we’d instantly die from the universe ending.

There is a temperature called ‘Absolute Zero.’ It is the lowest temperature that is theoretically possible, at which the motion of particles that constitutes heat would be minimal. It is zero on the Kelvin scale, equivalent to –273.15°C or –459.67°F. This temperature is out in space, and has been briefly reached in labs on Earth. Pluto is 44 Kelvin (-229 Celsius or -380 Fahrenheit) and is the coldest planet in our solar system. A reason science fiction stories in space have things like cryogenic chambers to hibernate its occupants is because of the real effects lower temperatures have on cellular motion. So, the reason I bring absolute zero up is because if such a temperature could either be found or created to DESCEND EVEN LOWER than absolute zero, would time stop? Would it collapse into a black hole? Who knows!

One thing we do know is that we can never go back in time. Forward, however, well, that’s relative. It has to do with gravity. The simplest example is this: Astronauts leaves Earth’s orbit, saying goodbye to their families and friends as they chart a course around the supermassive black hole at the centre of our Milky Way galaxy. The trip takes them one year. They enter the dense black hole’s orbit and circle it once before heading back to Earth. One year had passed for them, but upon returning to Earth, 100 years had passed. It’s a strange and phenomenal effect gravity has on matter. Not just matter actually, but also light. The heavier an object is, on the astronomical scale, the slower time moves. I’m hesitant to say that the molecules vibrate slower, because even if that is what they’re doing, it wouldn’t as simple as that. Cold temperature does that, but doesn’t seem to slow time down. I would simply say gravity works as a dial, like fancy light switches! The more you crank it, the slower things get.

A thought experiment the glorious Stephen Hawking had, regarding time, involved a futuristic train. He wondered, or proposed, that say there was a train humanity created that wrapped around the Earth and traveled at near the speed of light. Matter cannot go or surpass the speed of light, but this train was designed to go just under as fast. He then proposed that a girl in the train decided to run forward in it. Would the laws of physics break? Or would they correct the matter at hand and visibly slow the girl down, making sure not to allow her to pass the speed of light. Individuals sitting in the train would watch as she slowed down, making each stride and seemingly hover in the air as she leapt.

Time is a trip, to conclude this thought piece. We have no control over it. It goes up and down, shrinks and stretches, but never stops or reverses. We are a slave to time and we are freed by it. Time is us and we are time. Make what you will of your slice, and I’ll make mine. Thank for reading, and I’ll see you guys next time!
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Thoughts 15: Snitches get Stitches

May 11th, 2020
In episode fifteen of Thoughts, I talk about how snitches get stitches! Just kidding, I talk about how that phrase or concept doesn’t just work as a threat.
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Substance Abuse

May 9th, 2020
How does someone find themselves at the receiving end of a destructive habit? No one plans to live a life of degradation. It’s something that happens slowly, like a frog in boiling water. One doesn’t notice that certain actions have a predictive outcome of addiction until they reach that point down the line. It can start with partying on the weekends as a seventeen-year-old, to drinking alone every night ten years later.

Many variables lie under substance abuse, like a bastardized clandestine iceberg of submerged painful memories and torment. The most understood variables are loss, and lineage. Grief is the most painful emotional state in life. We as a society have seen countless people get swallowed by substance abuse to numb the pain, and have overall understood that standpoint. Not accept it, but understood it. Lineage is also easy to understand. If you have the blood of a drinker, you may have drinking problems. The actual science behind substance abuse says that genetic predisposition plays a role of fifty-percent to an individual developing a problem.

Other factors that are harder for people to understand are childhood traumas, and general stressors. The reason childhood trauma is hard for people to understand is because those people in the individual’s life were most likely there in their childhood, so it’s a matter of coming to terms with something they may have had a role in. The human mind is a survival mechanism. Children absorb experiences like a sponge so when something distressing happens, their mind will go to great lengths to bury the event in order to keep the lights on.

General stressors can be otherwise described as school, family life, friendships, or work. Coping with life’s hardships can be as easy as taking a hit. You may have started just once or twice, but soon fall into the habit of ritually needing the substance. It can get to a point where you’re blowing off your friends and other engagements so as to continue the ritual you’ve started one lonely night.

Homeless heroin addicts were once innocent children. But bit by bit, one event after another things kept going wrong and getting worse, pushing the person down the path to where they are now. Substance abuse isn’t the end of the road, though. One in the pit of their deepest hole might say it is, but so long as one is still alive, there is a chance to get out. An optimistic spin might be to say, ‘If you’re at your lowest, then you have nothing to lose.’ Dependency is a construct of the mind. It is a damn tight construct, but a construct none-the-less. Joggers talk about a mental wall they hit at a point of deep exhaustion. It’s a moment when your body, instincts, and soul scream for you to let go. To know what it is, and know you can say no allows you to break the impossible wall and push past it. Once you do, a weight is lifted and everything becomes lighter.

It’s a hard truth to face but the fact of the matter is that life is a constant struggle. It’s not easy, but like working out, it gets better if you put in the effort. Let daily pessimism die under the light of a hopeful mindset. Ring it out to let the sober winds of realism breeze your cheek, and stand tall to let a ray of optimism shine on you every now and then. I hope this helped anyone reading to better sympathize or understand that many things go into how someone can fall from grace. We are all in this thing called life together, and all need to help each other out. Thank you for being here, and I’ll see you guys next time.
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Thoughts 14: It’s Worth It

May 8th, 2020
Welcome to episode fourteen of Thoughts. Here I talk about when fighting is necessary. Enjoy!
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Thoughts 13: Being in It

May 4th, 2020
Welcome to episode thirteen of Thoughts. Here I talk about the concept of certainty, specifically in personal relationships. Enjoy!
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Identities

May 3rd, 2020
Identities! Also known as personalities made from a collection of memories. I’ve written about the concept of identities in bits and pieces throughout my blog, like in Duality and Perspective, but I think it deserves it’s own work down. Would the ninth grade version of yourself even recognize you? Are you still you if you undergo amnesia? What’s up with multiple personality disorder? Or the concept of reincarnation? It begs the question, what is the point of the soul without memories? It is culturally evident that identity takes the main stage in certain countries like the U.S. and China. So to expand on that, country identity has to do with government systems and how people are rooted in their historical philosophies and cultures.

China is housed to the creation of the concepts of Confucianism, Daoism, and Legalism. These are the top three, arguably. Confucianism is from the man Confucius, who derived his teachings from Legalism, and is in a nutshell: Xin – Honesty and Trustworthiness. Chung – Loyalty to your work, the state, et cetera. Li – includes ritual, propriety, etiquette, et cetera. Hsiao – love within the family, love of parents for their children, and love of children for their parents. Daoism, or Taoism, is a philosophical or religious tradition of Chinese origin which emphasizes living in harmony with the Dao. The Dao is the source, pattern and substance of everything that exists. And finally, Legalism, or Fajia which literally means “House of Administrative Methods”, is a philosophical belief that human beings are more inclined to do wrong than right because they are motivated entirely by self-interest. Today, the driving structure of China is Communism.

America, or the Western world including Canada, was founded and subsequently ruled through the religion of Christianity and the philosophy of Manifest Destiny. While most know about Christianity, with their testaments and beatitudes, Manifest Destiny was the idea that white Americans were divinely ordained to settle the entire continent of North America. The ideology of Manifest Destiny inspired a variety of measures designed to remove or destroy the native population, horribly. It was a widely-held cultural belief in the 19th-century and drove its settlers to expand across the land. Today, the driving structure of America is Capitalism.

If you grant me some more wiki definitions here, Communism is a philosophical, social, political, and economic ideology and movement whose ultimate goal is the establishment a socioeconomic order structured upon the ideas of common ownership of the means of production and the absence of social classes, money and state. Capitalism on the other hand is an economic system based on the private ownership of the means of production and their operation for profit. Characteristics central to capitalism include private property, capital accumulation, wage labor, voluntary exchange, a price system and competitive markets. One can see just by reading their definitions, how individuals raised with either idea can form their identities based off of these ideas. They are both very practice-based and communal. Generally, Americans stereotype China as a country full of drones that work and die, and Chinese stereotype Americans as egotistic overweight blowhards. While everyone is an individual, statistics do show behavioral patterns among people under certain communities. But is there anything wrong with that?

Well the concern is all in the mind of the viewer. If we take a step back from nations and look at humanity as a whole, there are things we all do. We all want a purpose, want love, have good food, entertain ourselves and continuously grow with the people in our lives. When individuals like psychopaths, sociopaths, the morbidly depressed, or those with identities issues such as individuals who believe they are robots or animals in human bodies, go against common connective tropes, we as a society reject them out of fear.

As we all know, we don’t chose who we’re born from, what brain chemistry we’re born with, how we’re born, when we’re born, or where we’re born. These are important markers of our identity that we had no say of from the get-go. It begins to paint a picture of how identity works and what it really is. Could our personal identities be an illusion? I can say with certainty that no, regardless of if we have free will, it is certain that everyone, no matter how entirely they are influenced by external forces, is an individual with their own fingerprint of a mind. From a biological standpoint, even identical twins that look to be the complete same person, have different DNA.

So now we can talk about how individuals can go through identity crises. It’s known as a period of uncertainty and confusion in which a person’s sense of identity becomes insecure, typically due to a change in their expected aims or role in society. If you’re experiencing an identity crisis, you may be questioning your sense of self. This can often occur from advancements through life stages, be it childhood, school, or work. So many things are out of our control. How many people wish that they could just be a kid forever? People take care of you and you have no responsibilities, like a pet! Not to trash people who actively wish this, but it is important for one’s own sake of sanity to strive in their CURRENT situation. It is unhealthy to wish one was living a different life. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t want to change your life situation because there are many legitimate reasons one could want to do this, but while having a desire to depart one’s current life one must still make the most of their situation. Happiness is predicated off of it.

There are accounts of individuals who live to be fifty or older before realizing or admitting they have gender dysphoria. There are people who remain closeted homosexuals their entire lives. These points of perceived, or real, relationship expectations that repress one’s true identity are tragedies against all of humanity in my opinion. People are who they are. We shouldn’t have to hide that. There are outliers like serial killers and pedophiles, of course, but aside from those that would bring harm to others, we as a society are doing our part, individual by individual, to accept people of every possible identity. We are all our own people, and we are all one, however paradoxical that may sound. I am Joseph Van Landschoot, born of Jane and Carl, and you, reader, are you, with your parents, and lineage, and beliefs, and hopes, and wants, and dreams. We are all fellow humans beings, and we are all worthy of love.

Thank you for listening, and see you next time.
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Thoughts 12: Importance

May 1st, 2020
In episode twelve of Thoughts, I talk about the importance we put on things and how it makes us who we are. Enjoy!
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Dyson Spheres

April 28th, 2020
One one-billionth of the Sun’s total energy output actually reaches Earth. Of all the energy that does reach Earth, 34 percent is reflected back to space by clouds. The Earth itself reflects another 66 percent back to space. Wouldn’t it be great if we could harness even one percent of the Sun’s energy? That thought brings us to today’s topic, the idea of a Dyson Sphere. Not to be confused with Dyson vacuums, the definition of a Dyson Sphere is: a hypothetical megastructure that completely encompasses a star and captures a large percentage of its power output. There are similar variations to this such as a Dyson Ring, Dyson Swarm, Dyson Bubble, and Dyson Shell. All these things would perform the same goal.

The original concept of the thought experiment was attributed to physicist and mathematician Freeman Dyson, though like most things, there was someone who thought of it first. It was surely unintentional but back 2 400 years ago, Plato the philosopher wrote about enormous subterranean tunnels both broad and narrow that made up the Earth’s interior. Later in the 17th century, the term Hollow Earth became a now debunked theory, claiming that there is indeed an inverted world inside our world, with it’s own light source! Such a thought experiment is not unlike a creative version of a Dyson Sphere. Its purpose ultimately being a power source which as we all know in a broad sense, our sun is. It gives us life! In vegetation and in vitamin D.

So the myth of Agartha, which is what some groups called the Hollow Earth, was really the first idea of a Dyson Sphere. But Freeman’s description of such a thing was humanity’s first good description of a truly conceivable version of it. To harness the sun in the palm of a species’ hands. It seems like pure theory now, that a race could build something so massive to wrap around the sun, a body in of itself that could fit over one million Earths in it, that it’ll never be possible. But ALREADY we have found anomalies through NASA’s Discovery Program of potential Dyson Spheres out in space made by advanced intelligent alien life.

Granted, reality is often disappointing and the anomaly these scientists are finding are most likely large planets obscuring the stars’ light, it’s still fun to think of the possibility. We often imagine aliens being almost just like us: bipedal, carbon-based lifeforms using air from their throats to communicate. If that is the case, it would take a civilization of China-levels of cooperation to construct such a device! But in a more creative sense, if alien life out there were something like silicon-based, or A.I. managed, construction of larger-than-star-sized devices could be a thing. Regardless, I just wanted to talk about this subject because things like this inspire my imagination, and if it could do the same to you, then the world would be a little brighter.

I love you all, and thanks for reading.
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Thoughts 11: Longevity

April 27th, 2020
In episode eleven of Thoughts, I discuss what makes a full life, and why it’s important. Enjoy!
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Thoughts 10: New Terrain

April 24th, 2020
In episode ten of Thoughts, I talk about new terrain, and how we were built to thrive. Enjoy!
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Thoughts 9: Perspective

April 20th, 2020
In episode nine of Thoughts I break down perspective and how it can work wonders for living a good life. Enjoy!
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Thoughts 8: Being Alone

April 17th, 2020
In episode eight of Thoughts, I talk about the nature of being alone.
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Sexuality

April 15th, 2020
Sexuality is both praised and abhorred in society. It’s either handled with exuberance or repression, the latter form there arguably running both the show and amok in the western world. The current dominant religions are clearly against it, yet have their own twisted viewpoint on what it even is. Everyone remembers when puberty really changed them; there were the physical changes, but also a change in the mind. Hormones that were once not part of us became introduced, forcing us to change how we interacted in the world, forever. It’s the driver of life, but without any need for research I can tell you that most sexual acts don’t end with both parties producing life. So what gives?

Well, sexuality when it was first developed, was a game changer. Early life went from almost no diversity through asexual reproduction, to this new… thing, of mixing deoxyribonucleic acid or DNA, to create a new version of the hosts. It was shooting in the dark. As we all know, evolution ala natural selection is not a conscious process. It has and is happening through the mutation of genes. In the case of most mammals, we get ‘in heat’ and do the deed via organ in organ shotgun blast. But what makes us humans unique is that we don’t have a season for being in heat. Granted some people are nearly never in heat, the others are in heat on a daily basis.

We aren’t the only animals to have this opportunity, or curse, (depending on how you feel about sexuality and your own sexuality,) we know dolphins and elephants, along with bonobo primates and other species have sex any old time too, and not purely for reproductive purposes either. Sex, when done right, feels good. It can be the best feeling in the world. A lot of what makes sex feel so good comes from more than rubbing sensitive bits together, it comes from emotional intimacy, and niche pleasures being met with a trusting partner. There are a great many people in the world that have a fetish for stuff like leather, or feet, and when someone with that itch finds the right partner that loves them, having the same fetish is the cherry on top. Most partners once having created an emotional bond, will test out sexual positions and acts if it makes the other partner feel good, because at that point they truly want the person to feel good.

Sex is a lot like a dance. When you don’t know the basic steps yet, it’ll be awkward, but in time you will learn the moves. Some people are exploratory while others stick to what they know. Others are so free with the dance that they’ll try to create new moves with hopefully equally exuberant partners. So, at this point I have to key in that there is of course a great many evils in the world, and most evils are sexual based. Aside from stating the obvious that you must use more than perceived body language when not sure if someone’s down for sex, most cases when an act without consent occurs, it’s not by mistake. Nature is not conscious, so it has no conscience. If it did, there would be some kind of shield-mechanism in our orifices that would activate when attacked, but it doesn’t exist. Morality is a strange thing, because most people have instinctual morals, like they don’t like seeing people get hurt, but nature houses no such morals. There’s a term that exists now-a-days called toxic masculinity, and I think it exists to describe how male hormones work. Men with terrible parenting seem to think that because they’re horny all the time, it gives them a right to sex. While I don’t agree in the slightest that the western world has a rape culture, I think rape and violence in general is a touchy subject for most religious people of power because they themselves are repressed. It doesn’t mean they want rape to continue, but that they don’t know what to do about it. Programs and rehabilitation centres would be far better than one current model of just jailtime then out again only angrier. We have a long way to go as a society but I still feel that we are generally going in the right direction to better every person’s life within it.

Getting it on is great, especially with foreplay. Music helps set the mood. Stretching is important, along with hydrating afterwards. What else should I add to this before finishing?… Love not war, people! Be like bonobos, not chimps! And until next time, love you all and be good to each other.
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Thoughts 7: Hidden Magic

April 13th, 2020
In episode seven of Thoughts, I talk about the hidden magic found in people. It’s something ne’er discussed but potent to the meaning of life.
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Thoughts 6: If we Could Live Forever

April 10th, 2020
In episode six of Thoughts, I discuss thought experiments on what it would be like to live forever. Enjoy!
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Thoughts 5: Duality

April 6th, 2020
In episode five of thoughts, I talk about the complex nature of duality.
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Thoughts 4: Intentions

April 3rd, 2020
In episode four of Thoughts, I talk about intentions and how difficult they are to grasp.
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Thoughts 3: Introspection

March 30th, 2020
In episode three of Thoughts, I talk about the tool of introspection in regards to emotional stability. Enjoy.
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Attention

March 26th, 2020
“Adults with ADHD who are undiagnosed and untreated in childhood are at greater risk of low self-esteem, substance abuse, anxiety and depression,” Labour’s shadow minister for mental health, Barbara Keeleyshe says. “Despite the serious problems that adults with undiagnosed ADHD face, many living with the condition say it has had a positive impact on their lives too.” I pulled that quote from the Guardian, under an article titled: ‘I assumed it was all my fault’: The Adults Dealing With Undiagnosed ADHD. My reason for this and the main inspiration behind me writing this thought piece, is that I’m pretty sure I have ADHD. ADHD is an acronym which stands for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. I’d claim that I just have ADD but that no longer exists as a classification.

Attention, and retention. What makes us pay it? And what makes us forget? I joke that I have a terrible memory, but truth be told I remember things fine in the long term; it’s just the little things like dates made for next week that seem to enter one ear and exit the other. I don’t mean to not pay attention either. It just happens. We can find through evolutionary biology and psychology that our primate brains were made for the untamed savanna. We can feel a presence watching us from behind when nothing is there. Shadows in the night keep us up in horror. Negative acts or event reside permanently in our minds but happy ones can be easily forgotten. Why? All for the silly sake of old world survival. So many of our instincts now are not only useless, but actually harmful. Anxiety can make a person’s life a living hell. The fact that I’m an alcoholic, (though now recovered,) is clearly from a compulsion that if I don’t binge now I might not get a chance again. All of these defects in the human mind suck, to be sure, but the pros that come out of them may make the pain worth something.

I consider myself a very creative person. Flashes come to me of inspirations, ideas, and images from seemingly nowhere. I’m certain this experiential process exists in me due to my mental makeup; the fact that I zone out and daydream. I remember always daydreaming when I was a kid, but the flashes started happening in a serious way when I turned twenty. That’s also when my drinking habits increased to an unhealthy degree. It was unfortunate that I relied on drinking alone as much as I did, but though great fear came with it, once I stopped drinking I found that there was zero dip to my creativity. Lucky me. Many artists rely on unsustainable methods to keep the wheel spinning. My fear was that I’d lose it, but when I took my out, it hindered nothing.

I also figured once I stopped drinking that my attention to things and people in my life would improve, but that actually wasn’t the case. I seemed to pay just as much attention as I always did. I can’t say I wasn’t at least a little disappointed, but keeping an open dialogue about that helps keep harmony in my relationships. What one must do with their intentions as life continues to flow and form and mold one’s character, is take the time to try. I may have little attention span in my resting default mode, but during waking hours I must simply TRY to pay better attention to those around me. They appreciate it. I feel better about it. And everyone wins.

To close, pay attention to those you love because they’re worth the extra effort. I love you all… and, as always, thanks for reading.
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Thoughts 2: Transient Thoughts

March 26th, 2020
Welcome to episode two of Thoughts. Here I talk about late night thoughts before work.
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Thoughts 1: Retrospect

March 22nd, 2020
Hello everyone and welcome to a new little project of mine! Thoughts. These will be vocalizations of my Thoughts blog on my website, thejoevan.com. Enjoy!
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Back

July 1st, 2019
Allow me to take you on a retrospective journey… thinking back to who I was at the turn of my second decade.

God, I’m still so stupid. No, I shouldn’t use that word. I’m learning and will learn for the rest of my life, there’s nothing wrong with that. I was just so lazy and selfish, and I still see it so much in myself.

Side note; it’d been nice if I did this when I was 25, just a cleaner number, but I was still drinking back then.

Now, when I was 20, I remember one instance of me throwing a half-eaten sub out the moving passenger window where I sat. I don’t do that anymore, nor did I then but I did when I was in high school. There are so many simple things I had no problem with that I find distasteful now. There could have been a flip of a coin on whether or not I’d clean up after myself, dress appropriately, drink or smoke, as well as take drugs for the hell of it. I feel less free now because of restrictions I put on myself but it’s things that should have been basic all along, like the dangers of staring at the sun.

It IS impossible not to take note of how freeing it really was to damage myself without a care in the world. I look back every now and again when I hear a song or smell something on the breeze, to sepia-filtered days of biking with my friends, smoking and drinking, and talking about ideas and events. It all seemed so full and filled with anticipation. Those memories will stay with me until I die or develop dementia, and they will be good. I think it does help to have lived while alive, seeing how in my current life I just work to burn out before finding a second wind.

Another instance I can recall is when I really thought I was getting my foot in the entertainment door. I left my labour job and began working for an advertising company. It took off rocky at the start because my phone/watch went back an hour on my first day. I arrived at location over an hour early and waited at a Timmy’s close by until I got a text asking where I was. One week later and I was fired. For all I know I deserved it but it really felt like for the first time I truly gave a shit, and my passion was answered with disdain.

Again, selfish (I mean really posting this thing in the first place online…)

So in conclusion to my retrospection, I’m sure we all look back at our younger selves, be it 30 years prior or only one, and feel as if we could have been so much better, but to live in such regret helps nothing and no one. We can only look at our current selves and think, “Would my future self be proud of me?” See my 12 suggestions post if that helps, and remember, I love you, your dog or cat loves you (alive, in heaven, or from the future,) and so should you!
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People

June 10th, 2019
Clambering for some kind of resolve negates the point.

Will you forgive me?

Cracking down often does the opposite.

It’s not a fad!

Knowing for certain shuts off your brain.

Whatever helps you sleep at night.
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How Hollywood Moves Ideas

May 1st, 2019
Culture: Reflected and Shaped by Movies

Joseph Van Landschoot

The Matrix changed how mainstream audiences thought about reality. Through Star Wars, a fan community formed where people made life-long friendships and even families. Us now holds the record for highest grossing original horror film on opening weekend, (Box Office Mojo,) ushering in new ideas for who we think of as protagonists. Hollywood is not centralized, so it is not exactly an individual entity that holds the credit for being a producer and pusher of ideas that seed into societies, but it is for the most part the vehicle used by artists to reach the largest crowd. Before Marvel’s introduction of their cinematic universe, comic book heroes were a niche in society. Now over ten years later and children, the world over, know about Ironman. Minions are another example that have far reaches into Facebook memes where everyone in the western world knows about them, even if they don’t know where they came from.

Most films from Hollywood go with whatever is trending in society, be it the increasing use of social media or people not being able to find love like the old days. Action films went through phases, from the Vietnam war where violence was seen as chaotic and brutal, to the ninety’s where campy violence slowly rose, and post 9/11 which I feel we still exist in; terrorism brought with it a new sense of heightened fear. Comedy for the most part was and will always be a product of its time, showcasing how we use slang and what current references we use.

The best example of how films are shaped by society can be found in its growing representation. With globalization, Hollywood has come to be internalized in other parts of the world. Growing variety of movies are being made on different topics, and films help the average person become aware of various themes on which certain movies are made. Movies made on foreign cultures and history provide insights into those cultures to the common people and provide an olive branch of compassion for audiences to be more accepting and tolerant towards diversity. In that way, movie stars are very influential. They are looked up to as role models by many, so now that a protagonist is being seen more as any kind of person, the current culture is being better reflected.

Movies have always been a source of entertainment and a means of unwinding and relaxing with friends and family. It also holds people together because they quite frequently bond over movies. A society without entertainment and movies would be difficult to imagine for most. On a similar note, Hollywood has been an important contributor to the US economy. It is valued approximately at $754 billion which makes it one of the largest entertainment industries in the world. It also creates employment for the locals and boosts the American economy. To take things back, Hollywood has also contributed towards uniting the American society with films made after World War II, depicting heroic adventures of Americans which received critical acclaim and helped in collecting the people as one.

Different generations have different ideas of what films made the most impact not just on their life but society. In comedy there were the films of Charlie Chapman, The Three Stooges, Monty Pythons, Bill Murray, Jim Carrey, Will Ferrell, and now Seth Rogen, and so on it will go.

“Bill Murray, hands down,” a Burlington local divulged, “Don’t get me wrong, I love Jim Carrey too, but of those examples you gave me, Bill Murray in Ghost Busters was my jam!”

It usually depends on what you grew up with. In action you had Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Harrison Ford, Bruce Willis, Jackie Chan, Tom Cruise still going strong, along with Keanu Reeves and Iko Uwais. Personalities really make the impression, is another way of saying it. These people and the films they starred in have stapled what audiences expect and how future films will be made.

On the topic of action, to many, movies are increasingly glorifying violence, sex, and other social taboos in a way that the youth are maybe starting to identify themselves with more. Adolescents may see their role models engaging in such behavior on the screen and might therefore tend to justify such acts in real life as morally correct. In this same thought experiment, movies that have tones of racial discrimination in them could/might/may-have-already trickled and imbibed in the psychology of young adults. It is true that in some movies, other countries and societies are depicted as immoral and evil and that may in fact further push a person’s narrative to have the same image of said country depicted without verifying the facts, but it’s a stretch. Today’s world is careful about political correctness. It is true that young minds are ripe for molding, but we humans have basic instincts of empathy that stop us from committing atrocities on the daily. Regardless, children growing up spend the majority of their time in school with peers or at home where they learn from their parents, instead of watching movies.

I asked my mother what she thought about how movies impact kids. “Well, of course. It’s just part of raising your children,” she replied. “There’s nothing wrong with them watching every Disney movie, just not the old racist ones.”

Hollywood is indeed a very powerful medium. That should not be understated in your mind, dear reader. It is worldwide, influencing culture’s psychology. Hence, it is their responsibility as well as each and every one of us, to consider the positive and negative impacts entertainment makes, both in North America and the globe. Both now, and future generations to come.
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Why Care About The Movies You See?

April 24th, 2019
How the Average Moviegoer Votes with Their Wallet

Over 48% of the U.S./Canadian yearly box office income is from moviegoers that frequent the theatres one or more times in a month, (source: M.P.A.A. theatre market statistics 2016,) so it’s safe to say that the rest of the money made comes from blockbusters. The top five highest films on opening weekend, of all time in North America as of March 2019, are: Avengers: Infinity War, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Jurassic World, and The Avengers. (source: Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia; List of highest-grossing openings for films.) Now to those 48% of North American moviegoers, what films get made most frequently in Hollywood and abroad rest significantly on your shoulders. I say ‘your’ but I myself am one of those people. Original films will never go away, but the politics behind what movies get made, are given bigger budgets, and why have mostly to do with statistics. It is unfortunate that such an art form ought to be reduced to numbers, but when films bring in 11.4 billion dollars yearly in North America alone, greed follows. (Being outdone however by the separate Art Market with its yearly gross of 63.7 billion dollars.)

What this means in nutshell is that we vote with our wallets. The average moviegoer isn’t an art major or film historian, just on odds alone, which means that refined taste isn’t the thing being taken into consideration; it is entertainment. A film can be utter trash to film critics, but consumers might find immense pleasure in it if it’s successful in being entertaining. Writing, acting, directing, cinematography, editing, sound mixing, and colouring drop to the wayside when figures show that skimming the barrel of talent to deliver passable comedy, horror and action can be as easy as reducing them to primal formulas. Examples of this can be found in such gems as: Daddy’s Home, Insidious: The Last Key, and Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen, (and the series as a whole.) It may not be evident to all, but once you make a mental note of the elements that go into a movie as listed earlier, many movies can be found to be just products. Different things stick out to different people. I notice amazing stories to lackluster ones. My friend knows when an action scene supersedes most. Another has an eye for great cinematography. I wouldn’t ask or wish for people to become film critics in lieu of enjoying what they are watching, I would only ask to take notice. Be mindful of when a moment or element in a film sparks your interest; was it the set design? The action choreography? The dialogue? The slow build up of tension? Subtle looks by a character as they go through arches? Things like this are important in keeping good movies alive in Hollywood.

This won’t change what films break box office records, but if we all found out what we really enjoyed when we went to the movies, we might have a better chance at improving the experience overall. Wait to stream Illumination films if your kids want to see it. Refuse more Taken sequels. Show with your involvement and lack-there-of what people want and expect when they go to the movie theatres, because it’s not just about the crowd and over-priced food. We all gather to be whisked away into another world, put into a dramatic situation, or feel fear without the real threat. It’s escapism, appreciation, or both. It’s an art form, and in my humble opinion, deserves to be crafted as such.
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Imagine

February 25th, 2019
Imagine that every person had inside them a blob. This blob would move about throughout their larger life-force, dark and destructive. It would give them sensations to run, or to fight. It would make them see red, or give them tunnel vision. The blob would do its best to create downward spirals. It was all the blob existed for. External forces helped suspend the blob for short periods, but never made the blob any less powerful. In some cases the blob would grow in size after happy days for seemingly no reason. One could imagine, however, being overcome with silence. A kind of silence from the raw beyond. It might come on so suddenly that the blob would be ripped into oblivion. It would tear away a deep red light and blinding bright white light would erupt into everything. It would wash over the person’s essence and consume their being. Such a warmth would follow; a feeling apart from hot where all the pain was scrubbed away. Something deeper than ecstasy. Endlessly more ancient and wise. Completeness. Birth and death and all the struggles and fighting in between now and forever could all make sense in the light. Humans and demons, dogs and frogs and ants. Trees, seaweed, figs and zooplankton. Every conscious experience, the meaning and the drive for life. And life, the meaning of the universe. It would all be so clear…

Until another day.
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Snitches Get Stitches

November 6th, 2018
The common phrase, ‘snitches get stitches and end up in ditches,’ is currently used in schoolyards, though it originally came from urban communities regarding illegal activities. They would say it to someone they considered potential police informants, as a form of intimidation for their own self-serving reasons. Since then it has been used in jails, gangs, schoolyards, comedy, and anywhere else culture has an effect.

I first heard the phrase as a young boy, and took it to mean if I tattle-tale’d, the person who said it wanted to fight me; like in general. But the concept didn’t fully become clear to me until later on. The type of honor culture surrounding the phrase is as old as humanity itself. It’s tribal in nature, being used as an almost test of trust. If one kid threatens another with the saying, and the kid says nothing or even lies, it boosts their reputation to that other kid.

It’s difficult to place this saying solely in the ‘bad’ category on its criminal origins alone because it does do something good in principle with children: it teaches them how to make friends. If the crime is harmless, and no authority figure discovers what happened, a bond between the two is formed. It really boils down to particular situations and the consequences, short or long term, that may come. Decisions are like living in a burning house where you die a thousand small deaths before the fire kills you, so make the small deaths worth it.

Love, Joe
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It’s Worth It!

October 30th, 2018
Damn does life throw curve balls sometimes. I’m not a sportsman, no more specifically a follower of the baseball, but meanings mean some things. Fighting is so often something we all try to avoid, and for good reason, because it does nothing but hurt. Though, in many situations, we fight because we need to, to do what’s right. Fighting binds deals, and breaks deals too, all for the call to make things worth what they seem or mean. When situations come up in our lives it is a true call to action whether or not we do anything about it. Take relationships faulting, or business deals not going how they should or aught to. Life isn’t organized. It isn’t fair or square. Things don’t check out in boxes and deals don’t always get settled. It takes fighting to survive in this world! Even if it isn’t to survive, because I know… for a lot of people it really does.

Fighting is not only innate, but certain in the common. Lying, and manipulating is used all the time by those who know how to use it to get their way. Following the rules doesn’t always work. Rules were crafted in the first place because of how certain people are about interactions. When you need to, when life calls it upon you, you must fight. Battle, grit your teeth, push and scratch. Force your will to contain and stabilize what you love so it doesn’t get overturned. For now, that is all.
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Being In It

June 30th, 2018
Certainty is an issue with some people. They say that the more you know, the less certain you become about things. Once your perspective broadens from information; academically or otherwise, on whatever subject, the more open-minded you might become. Certainty is something innate. You are either into something, or you’re not. And there are many versions of really being in it. You can be heavily into sports, for instance. Other people are super into Warcraft. Everyone has there own thing that they find most absorbing. The one thing I want to hone in on in this subject, though, is personal human relationships. Probably because we all got them. It is the one thing every person can relate to whether you’re a socialite with no deep connection aside your mother, or a recluse, with no relationships aside your mother. So, with that super simple disclaimer out of the way, we can begin.

What does actually come with handling and being in a real relationship? I’m not a professional in this field and only have my experiences and the stories of others to grasp on to. Currently, I think I’m doing pretty well in the romance, compared to most. I started a relationship after five+ of being single, and only after using the terrible app that is Tinder tm, without reliably using it until a year later.

A girl and I talked back in early 2017. We hit it off rather easily. Three weeks later thanks to help I asked her out. I met her and the rest is history. I love my girlfriend, eh? What else can I say.

I don’t know if she is the one, because I cannot tell time, but my intuition tells me she is. So ‘bring it in’ is the slogan I used to get you here, and I think of it as a saying that might ring true to old couples and new. They say the new generation is more polyamorous than the older generations. I won’t deny what lies at one’s heart. They say that the majority of humanity would see multiple partners if it was acceptable. I find myself, however, stuck by choice in the common sense of finding one individual for the remainder of your being. I will always only be for one, no matter what. Investing in one and only one individual is not just what I was raised on… But what lies deep in my being.

I don’t mean to put down those that wish or need to be with others, I only wish to shine on the dimming light of those like me that gleam on the prospect of connecting with a life partner, and only one partner, the rest of their natural life.

We only have one life here on Earth. You can use it to live your life to the fullest. You can live that by meeting many people, and doing things that meet your provocative. You can live that by being the best parent you were meant to be, while being with others or not. What ever your path, I love all that choose the path of love. Because as is the main theme of this entire blog, I always press people to choose the path of love if ever given the opportunity. Never the path of hate, or deceit. Choose only love, respect, honor and all else that entails a good life for yourself and the other people on your life.
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Importance

June 13th, 2018
This will be a hot button topic unlike any of the other topics I’ve written about so far, I feel. What people find important or not important vary radically depending on the individual. Some people find many-a-thing important and therefore sensitive or sacred, while others care so little they couldn’t be bothered to know it even exists. Other conditions of importance would be specifics. There can be some people that don’t care about much, but the things they do care about they care to the absolute.

Guns

Abortion

Power of prayer

Pronouns

Art

Environment

Legacy

Nationalism

Marriage

Tattoos

I am over the moon with certainty that every single person who reads that list will have a different reaction to it. And everyone will place it on a different level of importance. To the subjects you agree or disagree with passively, you don’t care. To those who have to fight for what they believe in on either side, they will find great significance. It goes without saying that we were all raised differently which leads us down all of our own paths of pursuit. I find most things passive in my agreement or disagreement, but still have a solid opinion on each thing.

If I could give any advice, it wouldn’t be to be more like me, because life isn’t very exciting when there isn’t passion. I would only say to keep a handle on emotions. When you find something extremely important, try not to talk about it, and when it comes up, try to figure out your room so as to manage expectations. If you know someone will say something upsetting to you, it is always better to know before-hand and let their moment pass. Love things, fight for things, but always keep peace.
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Longevity

May 30th, 2018
What would you say is the deepest sensation? An orgasm? True happiness? Peace? You might say ‘sleep’ sarcastically, but no.

It is purpose.

It is the absolute and ultimate drive of intelligent life. It is what lies behind our every action and reaction. Every want, every need is predicated by our life purpose. It is found that those who suffer from depression also suffer a real physical deficiency because of it. They have less energy than those not suffering from it.

This does not mean that having a life purpose is always a positive thing, such as those who wish to do harm onto others. But overall, having a life purpose, even if that means making enough money to hang out with friends on the weekend, is leagues above having no such long-term desire at all. When it comes to living the best and longest life one can live, having a point to it kind of counts.

Meanings change in time though, like wanting nothing more than to disrupt the status quo, to becoming a working member of society. We all do what we must to survive. It lands in the ‘first-and-foremost’ category to be sure. As our lives develop, we will encounter changes. A person at 30 may realize McDonald’s isn’t going down the same as it did at 20. If we wish to be in this life for the long haul, we have to change with life.

Anarchists, starving artists, daredevils and those with mental health problems usually bend the knee to safety the longer they play the game. A man who bumps cokes on the weekends and sleeps with a different person every three days will soon find complications with their health. Life isn’t without a little risk-taking but to play the lottery everyday will leave you eventually broke. It is in all of our odds to play it safe for the most part.

The best advice is always, and will always be: moderation.

Hell even with smoking cigarettes, it is said that if you only smoke one cigarette a day it holds the same risk you would otherwise have living in a city. One glass of wine a day is good for your heart. One bump of coke a day I would highly advise against, same with meth or heroin, but you get my point. To jog one kilometre a day would be great. Life is kind of like a jog, isn’t it? Sure, at some points you sprint, and at others you walk, but for the most part we are all doing a jog across time.

So in short; make the meaning of your life, make it count, and make it last. We only get one short trip across the galaxy so why not make it last as long as a primate can? Oh, and make sure to eat your vegetables SAM.
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New Terrain

May 23rd, 2018
We’ve been doing it from birth; taking in new sights and sounds, places and people, things and thoughts. No place is too comfortable when you are young. Attachment only happens with time. In that regard, our ability to stay open is a double-edged blade, as the saying goes. I’m sure we all know of someone who is like this in their adult life; spontaneous, ever changing and never comfortable, but I’ll come back to that.

Most people settle into their track lives and situations and just hold there. Get the sustainable job that you don’t necessarily hate, and stick with it. Though, every so often, life will throw you a curve ball you don’t see coming. It could be something light like a marriage invitation to another country, or something heavy like your company relocating you to another country. It could also not have to do with physical terrain, like an unexpected pregnancy or a sudden death in the family.

We were built to adapt. It is hardwired into our genes to make the most out of a given situation, and thrive. Imagine moving elementary schools because your parents got a divorce. New school, new classmates, and the loss of all the others. But what do we do? We make the most out of the given situation, and thrive. Though it now happens less and less in my life, the concept of new terrain always excited me by the sheer possibilities that could come from it.

Working a new job, or starting a new relationship; being inspired by a new-found passion. All of those those experiences are the ‘real life’ versions of, say, buying a new car or console. Companies know how to manipulate us, after all. Materials are a bite-sized new terrain, like a watered-down grapefruit. Enough for anyone to handle so as to reach the maximum demographic. Is this the wrong way to go as a society, I wonder? We do live in the safest time in history, thanks to other factors as well, but due to the capitalist system of wants of material goods.

I’m hoping when we reach the real space age, thanks to this system, that rich experiences becomes the new norm.

But as always, TIME WILL TELL.
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Melancholy Flower Infinite

May 16th, 2018
Paradox.

Abstraction.

Imperceivable.

Impossible.

Grandiosity.

The raw beyond. These concepts that will never be answered. They lay on those that seek. Is there intention in existence? If there was, how did such to intend come to be? It was intentioned as well, well, what about that which gave it? If not, then why it in the first place? If so, it goes on for infinity. An impossibility. How did things come to be, then? Without this notion, we reach a bottleneck. Time is a paradox; an abstraction. All the gravity in all the black holes, and all the separation across the expanding universe cannot condone it. We were once small and hot, before which we were not. Other space-time have done the same, and all of us have done so and will do so… forever? We haven’t reached the extent of proper perceivable information for that yet, so time will tell. And we will do so by peering ever inward. We can’t go out enough into the grandiose, so we can only do the opposite. Yet there we find abstractions upon abstractions to any order. It breaks us down and leaves us impossibly without structure. This existence we all find ourselves in is so complex, and so alien to what we were made to do: survive, that it will take a long time indeed before anything can be done about it. Until which, a fool like I can wax poetic… about it and all and forevermore.
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A Slice of Deviance

May 13th, 2018
Here is an excerpt from my first novel: Deviance. You can find a link to its Amazon page ‘Here’.

*

V took a seat. She looked a little bewildered.

“You feeling anything?” asked Nathan.

“I don’t know… maybe? I think I feel something.”

He took a seat next to her. “It’ll probably take a while for me.”

“Oh yeah?” V asked in a playful, fuck-you tone.

“Yeahaha.”

“Oh yeah? Tough shit?”

“It’s in my blood, on my dad’s side. We Australians got poisoned so much we’ve become immune to it.”

“You’re Australian?!”

“Well my grandpa is.”

“Oh I didn’t know. That’s cool.”

“Yeah it’s not bad. We can handle toxicants, but we don’t seem to talk too much. At least not my grandpa and dad.”

V sat silent, intent on Nathan continuing.

“I can remember one time,” he blurted as the memory hit him, “where my dad actually pulled an amazing line. Like a heart to heart moment with me.”

“What was it?” she asked.

“I must have been ten. Our dog Moe died and I hid away in my room cause I couldn’t stop crying. And my dad, to my utter surprise, came in and told me, ‘You know son, in life, the further you walk, the more you know. The more you know, the more you grow. The more you grow, the less you feel. And the less you feel, the further you walk.’ At the time I just thought he was being a heartless asshole, but I see now what he meant. Life’s taken my family away and yet… I’m not destroyed. I don’t quite know how to say it but I feel as if, something might have played a role in my survival, so far. But then again, maybe not at all and it was just dumb luck. Who knows.”
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Being Alone

May 2nd, 2018
I have to start this by making sure everyone knows as a basic fact that we are all alone, at every moment, inside our heads. Now, with that being said I will begin with a question. When you imagine being alone, are you sad? Or are you relieved?

As an evolutionary fact we humans are social creatures. We rely on each other to survive, to thrive, and in general to be happy. We have family members, friends, and partners. It is part of our makeup, regardless if you are an introvert or extrovert.

The majority of people today are introverts. It may be because of technology. The convenience to do what you want, when you want makes it more appealing to not socialize. Why listen to songs you don’t absolutely love, or put yourself in potentially uncomfortable situations when you can just stay at home.

Personally, I love being alone. With that said, however, I also love to socialize. But being alone allows me the ability to write for hours without interruption, go to the gym, watch movies or do whatever else without having to break up a schedule or not do it at all. It is very selfish of me and I am aware of that. I understand the role parents put themselves in when they decide to try and conceive. It is a truly noble and selfless act. I am currently at a stage in my life where I haven’t fully grown up, and won’t until I sacrifice the freedom I currently indulge.

For many people that I know, being alone is boring and something to be avoided. It makes them sad when they don’t have people around. They can’t find the balance between socializing and isolation unless the latter is moments before sleep. As I stated earlier, I haven’t fully grown up, so I am still working on the balance. Some people go their whole lives either pushing people away, or clinging when it’s inappropriate because of this. Socialize too much, and you don’t know who you are when you’re alone. Spend too much time in your head, and you forget what it’s like to mingle with company. Both things are equally important.

Time spent alone allows the mind to breathe. It allows thought without criticism, creativity without backlash, and wonder without insecurity. Great positivity can flourish in these periods, but also great negativity. It is important to notice those around you that may be in a place of self-hatred or degradation. It was not the fault of every serial killer’s parents that they couldn’t have changed their son’s life around before it was too late, but perhaps to notice someone spending too much time alone, and pulling them out into the world might do them tremendous good. Life may be beautiful but it wasn’t meant to be stared at for ten years straight without any interaction.

We are bipedal primates that managed to create language to better interact with each other. We built civilization on the notion of betterment for all. If we were only meant to be alone, we would still be living in caves and grunting at passers-by. I find tremendous purpose in being alone for periods of time, to allow inspiration and relaxation to flow through me. I also base my life on society, and the interactions I have with the people in it. To my mom, siblings, extended family, close friends and the like, and to my girlfriend: I love you.
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Hidden Magic

April 26th, 2018
There’s a hidden magic in people. It comes out like fire as a child.

Like a smile on an old face, or the fury in a friend seeing you get beat up as they come to help. There need not be any enemies. A kid can make friends with a rock but two old friends break up because of business differences.

You can chalk it up to complexity, but the hidden magic in people can be just as complex. Like a stranger, after losing their job and with little income, paying for someone’s meal behind them in a drive thru. Or someone coming across a dead fox on a hiking trail and taking hours just to bury it with a stick.

Sure, I could describe the magic in many words: random acts of generosity, sacrifice with no gain, showing kindness during hate. Sometimes the neuro-chemicals give us strange answers to things of spite, leech, or straight hate where we just… love.
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If We Could Live Forever

April 23rd, 2018
We all know there are certainties about the human race. We were built to survive. To know the enemy, and strike them down. We yearn to live not only in the short term, but honestly to the majority of people, forever. Religions give so many people the hope. But in that context however, many troubles brew.

The mere idea of living forever brings things into question. If it is only you, then isolation is inevitable. You will grow up with a community around you, make friends and find love. They will continue to age, but (for the sake of it let’s say you stop at 30,) you will not. So they will grow old without you and die, leaving you alone. This will happen again and again with new relationships you form. The secret services may find you, or you may become revered as a kind of god to society. Either way, isolation to others cannot be changed.

Another thought experiment is the afterlife. Be it heaven, Jannah or Valhalla. These places promise eternal life after death, in other words, forever experiencing subjective reality. It takes place in a non-physical realm, where you are still living within a hierarchy system. Time would seem like a morphine drip I imagine, because there would be nothing to do except praise the creator of the universe because He’s all about that. We currently all live in a second to second, day to day reality. Without tasks I imagine life would seem very meaningless.

The final idea I propose would be if everyone suddenly ceased to age, (at say 30,) for no apparent reason. War will still happen, perhaps even more so due to exponential growth in the population. People will still die from diseases as well. But a new purpose will grow within the bloating humanity. Elon Musk will grin. Fathers, mothers, sons and daughters shall volunteer to embark on missions into space, on the hope of creating outer colonies. It will eventually work. Afterward we will seek to continue. Wealth inequality will still exist, so though the fear of death will grow to exceeding paranoia and anxiety among the rich, others with nothing to lose will wish to make a better future for their kin. Millions of years pass. Technology speeds up, then slows down, but forever moves forward. Billions of years pass. The Milky Way has now been dominated. It seems still like all the time in existence is not enough. There are other galaxies, other super clusters of galaxies. Countless ships get sent off to the edges of the universe, never to be seen again by anything, ever.

We have drama of egos in super cities surrounding Milky Way’s super massive black hole. Suicides from people who can remember Earth. New life unknowingly being born into infinity. Soul mates for hundreds of thousands of years breaking apart. Entropy making its mark on the soul of our race. Time, infinity, need not be time at all. Though all but the depressed would agree we currently have too little time on Earth, time forever would stretch the meaning of life very thin indeed. We need death like we need birth. There must be those before us, and those that come after us. We must pass on the baton when time comes. If it never does, who do we become? I say: lesser than our ancestors. Learn to let go along with holding on. It is what makes life so precious in the first place.
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Soothing Edges

April 21st, 2018
When did the sun leave me?

The dark is so sudden. It shocks by contrast of a stark blue glow.

The glow clicks and rattles quietly so as not to disturb those sleeping.

Global communities soothe away the edges.

It feels nice to hurt a little, be it a sting behind the eyes or a fuzzing down the spine.

The future is exciting in its mysterious way.

When did the sun meet me?
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Circle K Rounded Up Mac’s Milk!

April 16th, 2018
Vancouver is a nice place I hear. I’ve never been, is what I’m inferring. Though I’ve lived in this country of Canada for 25 years now, I’ve never traveled west of Ontario. However, there is a connection Vancouver now has with the city I was born and raised in: Burlington, and it is for what the nostalgia in me is screaming, not a good thing. If you were around ‘the Couve’ way back in 1975, you would have noticed a bunch of convenience stores crop up with the name ‘Mac’s Milk’. Forty years later and anyone raised in a suburban or urban area in Canada knows about Mac’s Milk. They went big, to say the least. I lived down the street from one and along-side Tim Hortons it was a Canadian staple in my mind. Convenience you have a name! I never bought milk from them, but slushies you bet’cha.

My childhood passed into young adulthood and my time hanging out in plazas faded away… I went off to school, returned and began working steady. No more time for Mac’s except for the old drunken journeys to chips land. It became a thing of the past… Then the other day I drove to Timmy’s for a double double and their sign was gone! I think to myself this just can’t be. Is business not going well for them or something? I remembered back some years when one of their other locations in Burlington closed due to something of that like. So now what’s this? Circle K?! It reeks of corporation. It’s simple to remember and the sign is easy on the eyes. If I were a child or simple-minded I’d love it.

Another one popped up down the road. There! Another one! What the heck, it’s more than just Mac’s Milk. What’s going on here? So I look into it, and to my utter lack of surprise, business stuff happened. Completely legitimate business stuff. Back in 2015, Mac’s Milk was bought out by Circle K. Okay. Along with other companies. This American giant had the big bucks; good for it. THEN, making complete sense looking back from the future, Circle K decided to switch all the names over. And guess in what city they began this implementation? THAT IS RIGHT, right down the road from yours truly. Now it all adds up, eh? How Vancouver connects to Burlington. From the left side of the country Mac’s began, and to the middle-right it fizzled out of existence. Nostalgia what have you done to me?

In the end I don’t really care, it was only at first. It was only when I first found out did I feel the pain of losing something I thought would be around long after I passed to the other side. It’s like a dog experiencing the loss of its owner. It doesn’t really know to do with itself. You were bigger than me Mac’s, and now you have been dissolved, fare thee well.
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Duality

April 15th, 2018
There are always two sides to things. There is this and that. There is me and them. There is will and won’t, is and isn’t. Here and there. Right and wrong. Will they, won’t they. How and haven’t. Why and why not. Two extremes; light and dark.

Dimorphism.

Males and females split things rather cohesively, except that there is a spectrum. Males can be very feminine and females can be very masculine. The fact that there are trans people, gay people and lesbians builds the blur in the ‘black and white’ structure, even without tom boys and metrosexuals. It doesn’t make things equal out but allows to broaden one’s horizon on duality.

If it were taken further, many believe in a split between body and self. My body is just the housing for my soul. That is not true to those who are knowledgeable on neurology. The self is a construct of the brain put in place to help survival. We are not a special person, we are many people in this play at life. But duality still exists.

Self; selfish intentions, building one’s ego, being a self-made whatever, (be it songwriter, engineer, salesman/woman, officer of the law, whatever,) develops meaning in one’s life. And we all do so through the thought that it is us, and them. Or us against them. You can’t trust the police. You can’t trust the government. You can’t trust anybody. We all lie to an extent unless your life is devoted to honesty; which individuals do here and there and usually destroy relationships they’ve had by doing so. But it’s end goal is towards accomplishments, which is again a self thing.

Separation exists for everyone, and it is important to note it, like it is important to note your diet, exercise, professional interactions and so on. We are all in this life right here and now, and there is duality in it. For those in intimate relationships there is a positive way to look at it. Your entire life is a story. It started when you were born and it will go on until you die; perhaps noted on long after. And the other is the other story, to be attached to your life the moment you two meet. Afterward, the two great lifelong stories become intertwined, and create one tale. Chapters separate perspective of each, but mingle in a cocktail of experiences lived, and maybe noted for longer more.

We live even in our own selves with this duality as we rope our own thoughts and beliefs and dreams together. Shall I? Shall I not? One more day. No more. Let them have it. Not this time. Just breathe deep. Time to blow. Life is art and art is life. This thing we are all doing, in conjunction with the rest of nature, is a beautiful thing even if at times troubling. Trek on I say. Make experiences, and make note of them. Do the best you can, and try to enjoy the ride while it’s happening.
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Budding Romance

April 13th, 2018
I spend nights alone. I spend days with friends, only sometimes. Days pass. Nights crawl. My hobbies lie, and parents spy. Who’s that? A face. A name. A friend. She’s cute, but no way, taken. Her name is Hope, Forsaken. I see trouble, no, prosperity from lonely. We develop, like film. Feel the screen. Hear me scream.

He’s nice, but… Nice. Nothing, nothing. Fun. Play. Here and, wait.

…

…

There I was. Here I am. In and now. Back again.

Back again. Yes. Future slaps fate, past -haps mate. We are who we are, and nothing more. Why me? How now?

I’m more than that. I’m more than fate. We are more than mistakes. We find miss plates. And life is more than love and scrapes… Rooms are a collection of our lives. Spring is inside. Sigh a relief of calm delight, and say goodnight.
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Intentions

April 13th, 2018
There was once a naive wish that was lost.

The wish, was that we lived in a world where it was easier for everyone to express themselves without fear of holding back, instead of the world we live in now where we tow the line. The social psychology of humanity today is the same as it was hundreds of thousands of years ago. It revolves around reactions to and from each other in a game of trust, for the sake of survival and survival of kin.

You are beautiful,

you are kind,

you are very talented,

and really really cool.

You also have a big heart and good intentions.

The majority of people are selfish and shitty, the wish-giver lamented in the back of their mind. Intentions are usually always so damn selfish. If only we knew what the other thought. But now there’s the problem. No one knows how the other person or people in an engagement truly feel; unless their face is pale and their chest lunges forward.

And how can we?

Intentions constantly change so even if you were feeling one way about someone, the next moment you could not. It’s hard to trust someone, to go all in when the other person seems like they may not. So people give hints, little looks, but remain casual. In the end you can only ever guess, that not only you know what YOU’RE feeling, but that when you look at someone and catch something in their eye, your intuition is heading you in the right direction.

Wouldn’t it be sublime if people spoke directly regarding their intentions? Maybe sadly maybe not, this is not the world we live in. Terrible things exist… violence, theft, cheating, rape, murder. Deceits in every sense for a selfish goal. There are psychopaths and sociopaths performing most treacherous actions to be sure, but for the rest of it, so many people let their emotions build up in a trail of negative thoughts that lead down roads of destruction. Only in retrospect do people look back and regret their decisions.

I’m sorry I don’t compliment you enough or treat you like a lady.

I shouldn’t have said that about your brother, I didn’t mean it.

Okay, take the kids, I- I’m sorry.

Well you weren’t there for me when I needed you most!

How could I have known…

Where do we even start to pick up the pieces?

I don’t even know why I lied about that.

The future moves, and society heads forward. We learn more and more about how we are with each other, and the specifics about right and wrong. Maybe things will never change between people. Maybe we can find a way to be more truthful and honest, even when it hurts.

Time will tell.
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Grandeur

April 10th, 2018
A small child watches the sun set. They feel amazing, alive; filled with a visceral sense of awe. In that moment, everything is beautiful. The outline of the sun becomes visible in its dying descent. It is a waving sphere of burning glory, stretching across the universe and back. The child looks on for as long as possible. The feeling wanes behind their eyes and will soon be gone, but it is undeniable. It is the meaning of life. It is pure love. It is the reason for existence. Joy and peace and merriment. A long awaited and anticipated notion met with something beyond expectations in the grandest possible way. A secret yearning to be shared across the cosmos. The faint glimmer of the sun blinks. The child, hypnotized, blinks too.
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Transient Thoughts

April 6th, 2018
Everybody at my work has a duty to wake up earlier than what would feel natural, to get production going. I can’t speak for all of them but I am what many would say is the farthest thing from a morning person. I spend many-a-nights contemplating existence. Not my existence personally but the existence of the universe; of everything. The idea of dying usually comes with these thoughts, but only as a curiosity. Such as: what is it to die? Some believe that you cease to exist. Not like everything goes black, but that everything simply isn’t anymore. How in the world could one conceive that? It’s not like being unconscious, because even then, you dream, regardless of whether you remember it or not. So maybe memory loss is what it’s like to not think anymore; to die. I can only guess.
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